You Don’t Have to Like Her: When You Can’t Stand Your Bestie’s Other Friends

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer. And I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind Bestimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:11 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh till you snort stuff. So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company. Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right, today we are episodes about you don't have to like her when you can't stand your bestie's other friends. So description, we have all been there. You love your best friend, but you do not vibe with one of her other friends.

0:35 Jackie: Maybe she's loud, shady, controlling, or just not your person. So what do you do? Say something, stay silent, protect the peace, or protect your energy. In this episode of Sightly I'm Supervised, me and Jen will talk about the real tension that happens when your bestie brings around someone you just can't stand. It's awkward, it's complicated, it's definitely relatable. Because sometimes the hardest triangle isn't a love triangle, it's a friendship one.

0:58 Jennifer: So here's just a little short story to open the episode. I smiled through the dinner, I laughed when I didn't mean it. I let her tell the same story, louder, drunker, and more obnoxious than the last time. I cannot stand her. I've tried. I've given her, I've given it the benefit of the doubt, but every time we're in the same room, she dominates the energy, makes passive digs, and somehow turns everything into a competition. The problem? My best friend doesn't see it. Or maybe she does, but she loves us both for different reasons.

1:24 Jennifer: So I bite my tongue, I roll my eyes internally, and I vent in the car on the ride home. Then I'm starting to wonder, is it jealousy? Is it intuition? Or is it just not every vibe it's or is it just not every vibe is for every room? All I know is this. I love my best friend. I just wish she didn't bring her with us. Well, who hasn't been through that nonsense? Everybody has a friend.

1:50 Jennifer: I mean, let's just be honest. Us girls don't always get along. It's weird too, because it feels like, at least in this age of the group, it's like if if you like them, I must like 'em because we are so similar to each other. But sometimes you guys see things I don't see in people, or I see things in people that you guys don't see. And I'm really I I don't want to say judgy. I I don't think it's judgy. I think that I have a internal intuition. And I vie people's energy more than I view. So I don't engage in things that I find that might be harmful or not authentic.

2:27 Jennifer: Like, you know what I mean? Like I get in trouble a lot for speaking my mind and telling people things. It's not because I'm being I don't I don't want to say it's because I'm being mean. I'm not trying to be mean. I really do care about people and I'm protective. I think that's a good way. So if I see say something, it's because I'm trying to either help you see something or be protective of you. But you guys have in this friend group, I'm gonna we'll talk about the one that we we got that was particular to our friend group.

2:55 Jennifer: But y'all were friends with somebody I didn't like and I didn't I met her and I wandered around with her a little bit and well you're more yeah, you're more abrupt.

3:04 Jackie: Like I think I'm the type that if you have a friend, I'll still try to deal with it and won't say anything. Yeah. And you know that situation. You know, I still go do things, I'll still try, and I I really don't I just try hard to deal with it, but I don't say much. I'm the other one just hoping that maybe the other person will figure it out without me having to say anything, right? I think that's pretty much it.

3:27 Jennifer: I think that's true. I think I know you well enough, me particularly, I know you well enough. And I know when we're looking at the dust clouds and the things that you could clean around me that you have you're not not saying anything, but you're not engaged and you're that's means.

3:43 Jackie: Yeah, I don't have a yes, exactly. My mind's somewhere else looking at something else. Or I'm uh I'm also uh what's the other thing I was gonna say? I um yeah, just kind of look up in the air and don't really re and I don't have a poker face, right? The rolling the eyes in quietly or like that someone can't see it, that's not me. Uh that's one thing, yes.

4:03 Jennifer: I don't know if everybody picks up on that. I think I'm in tune to it, so I'm like, Jack doesn't like her. Yeah. And I think that that's you know, that's fair. You you have that too. Like sometimes I'm like, oh, they're fun, and you're like, no, I don't like any of them. And I'm like, what's wrong with these people? You know, so we can go back and forth between us, but you all had a friend, I didn't like that friend, and I didn't, and we talked about that because I didn't, I said, not for me. That one's not for me.

4:29 Jennifer: I don't like her. You all can do what you want with that, but I'm letting you know it's something shady about that one. So, and time did what time does, right?

4:37 Jackie: And you weren't around, you weren't around her that much because I mean we were around her all the time. Actually, all three of us were, and I think part of that that friendship started because of children hanging out with each other, all the kids, that type of thing. So you're always around all those the same parents, and where we lived in the mountains, people hung out. You know, we had the lake during the summer, so everybody hung out together, and the kids that hung out together, and it was that kind of situation.

5:00 Jackie: You're just part of it. And I guess we really didn't see anything until yeah, it turned around. And boy, she showed her true colors. Yeah. Not a nice person. No. And very hard. And she even tried to do separately, like our one friend she'd already kind of was not good to at all, uh, and her family. And uh, she tried to call me and try to make it like, you know, try to tell her side, and I'm like, don't even start. Don't even wait. No, that's my best friend. And what you did, nope. There's no that don't even tell your story.

5:29 Jackie: I do not care. I'm not listening.

5:30 Jennifer: Right. Whatever you have to say, you're it's on dead ears right here. You're not gonna tell me anything. You don't that's the other thing. Like in our group friendship, like friendship group, is that we have been friends for 40 years or more. Like 40. We're not nothing new has happened in our world that we don't know about, right? So you can't come in with your six months or one year or two years of your friendship and tell me about something about somebody that I know for a fact of who these people are.

6:01 Jennifer: You know, like that's me. That's protective me. That's like, who the fuck are you? You don't get to have an opinion, you don't get to tell me something about somebody. I have been through life with this one. I know this one in the heart. And you're not going to change that. You're not going to influence that. Those things are cemented in stone. And I don't need to hear you're just you and your one year of history doesn't do is nothing. Nothing. You haven't got to even know these people. Like, you don't know who they are, where they came from, and what they're about.

6:32 Jennifer: And you're not changing my mind about that. Not today, not necessarily.

6:35 Jackie: Yeah, you've only known us for a few years.

6:38 Jennifer: Yeah. Like, who the fuck are you? Go sit down, little lady, because you're not coming in with their nonsense over here. But that's not necessarily.

6:45 Jackie: Yeah, her true colors. Not just that. She ended up, yeah, just being a ho, too. I mean, come on. True colors came out. None of us are like that. It's like, what are you doing? No. And she thought by telling us we would think it was okay. And it's like, who you don't know us? Like, that is not cool. Right. That is awful.

7:04 Jennifer: We're trying to live with some kind of morals and standards here. Like, you know. You do have children. You have children. But I just, you know, I didn't like her. Mine is more instinctual than anything. And I it's not jealousy. I mean, I wouldn't I think you can get jealous of your friends, friends. And I think that that's something you have to do a internal check with. Like, okay, is this person really a bad person for my friend? Or is she just get on my last nerve? And am I just just jealous of this situation?

7:34 Jennifer: Like, you know, there's friends that can't share friends. I've had friends that way. You've probably had friends that way. Like, you need to spend all your time with me. And if you don't spend your time with me, then I am uh I'm kind of feeling like insecure or I'm not feeling good about this. So there's a usually not me.

7:50 Jackie: Yeah. That's not us at all. I have no lots of different friends, different friend groups. I had the same thing in high school. I had all I had the mud squad, I had this, I had that, you know, our friendship. It's like I had different groups of friends just wherever I was at, that's the group, you know. Yeah. With around.

8:06 Jennifer: Yeah. But we also grew up in a yeah, but we also grew up in an environment that that was necessary, right? We didn't have large groups of people that, you know, came and went. And we had different, we only had the map, we only had the people we went to school with. There was no other people on that mountain. So it wasn't like except like we called them flatlanders, sorry about that. But flatlanders that came up for the weekend, you know, those are the only other people in our environment that we would even be around.

8:31 Jennifer: Otherwise, we were just in that small community by ourselves and wasn't one that we went up and down and around because it was, you know, dangerous and also far away to be moving around too much.

8:39 Jackie: So I think we And no, we were not friends with the big bear kids.

8:43 Jennifer: No, big bear was our rival and uh we we stood our ground. There was some two people, there was two groups on that mountain, and one of them was on one side. Um Yeah, I think you have to. I think if you were in a friend group, especially with your guys' friendship with this one person, I I suppose if you thought I was jealous and just didn't like her, and maybe you did in the beginning because I didn't like her, and you guys were like, I don't know what you're seeing why this person's perfectly fine.

9:06 Jennifer: I'm like, you might thought, oh, she's just jealous, but I don't think so.

9:10 Jackie: I don't think that I don't think I ever thought you were jealous. I don't think any of us ever thought you were jealous. Just you were just yeah, being um protective. Protective, but it probably looked like I was just being judgy at first. Like, I don't know about it. Yeah, maybe a little judgy too. You might be seeming judgy. But you were right.

9:24 Jennifer: So But I mean it's you know you have to do a I think if you don't like somebody's friend, because people other people are different, and sometimes people get things from other people, right? So like we all have different friends. So we are a group of five and we all have different friends. And for the most part, if we're with one and they have other friends over, we're like, hey, what's up? You know, I always feel like if you like them, I'm gonna like them. If they're people that you think are good, then you've already vetted them and they're probably pretty good.

9:51 Jennifer: And for the most part, I think we do get along with our friends' friends.

9:55 Jackie: Yes.

9:56 Jennifer: I think we can be very accepting and very like, hey, you know, like we're your friends too. Like, I think that's a nice thing about us too, is that we're all pretty social. So we can jump in and, you know, not feel like if you don't give me all your attention, then I can't possibly be comfortable in this situation. You know what I mean? You have those friends too that are like isolated, like their personalities will dictate how much of that you can do because there are some friends that are like, I'm totally uncomfortable, I don't know why you have other friends, they make me uncomfortable.

10:27 Jennifer: Those are kind of the ones that are tougher with people if you're social. If I was not social, that would be the perfect person for me because it'd be like just the two of us. It's just the two of us.

10:35 Jackie: Well, it's the well, a friend that you had that uh we went on a trip, uh trip with a bunch of girls one time. And I just remember just starting and I I just was uncomfortable. We weren't really good friends anymore. I was friends with her at one point, and then that was gone. And then, but you still were. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna suffer through this. I'm gonna, you know, Jen sees a good in her, maybe she's matured, she's different, blah, blah, blah. But I remember sitting when we got into the trip at a bar having drinks, and she's trying to tell me like things that you like that I that I that things that you didn't like that I did, or things about your sister.

11:10 Jackie: And I'm just like looking at her like, what, why, why?

11:13 Jennifer: Yeah, why would you like to do that?

11:14 Jackie: But it was a j I could tell it was a jealousy thing. It was like she was trying to act like she's my friend, not your friend. This just the way she was going about that. And I'm just looking at her like, give me another cocktail. I'm suffering through this. I'm gonna just pretend like, oh yeah, I guess, oh, I didn't know that. You know, maybe, oh, maybe you see her sister more than I do. Because I think, and I didn't know back then, and I don't think she did see your sister any more than I did. But she was just trying to put in all the stories about your sister and the guy she was with at that point, and just trying to tell me, well, you know this, and blah, blah, blah.

11:45 Jackie: And I'm just, I don't care. Right. Right? You she was trying to show me that she knew you guys better.

11:50 unknown: Right.

11:51 Jackie: And I'm just that we were closer than she was so freaking jealous right now. Yeah. Because I think both I think she wanted to be, I think she wanted to be the only one there with your family to do this birthday celebration.

12:02 Jennifer: Yeah, that's right. My family was there too. That was right.

12:05 Jackie: And I think like the fact that like I came and then I brought two other friends just because I knew she was coming and we were s in rooms together. So I'm like, I need my backup because Jen's would be with her family at the time. Right. So I brought my backup. Um, and you couldn't.

12:20 Jennifer: Which was funny, it was just your friends that you brought, at least the one, she brought her friend. So you had a good friend that you brought, and she brought her friend, right? So, but anyways, I'm still friends with your friend that you brought. Like I met her and we're friends. She actually came when I lived in Monterey, she came up and she was there for a weekend and she called me. She's like, Do you want to have drinks? I met her and her husband. I think it was me and my son. Went down and met her and her husband at one of the bars and had drinks with them and hung out with them and stuff.

12:48 Jennifer: Like, so I'm just saying, like you can mix and match with friends. Like, like I said, they're vetted or whatever between them. But yeah, it's hard when one of them is trying to, I guess she was trying to check you or something. You know what I mean?

13:01 Jackie: Like, it was, but you could just see, I could just see the jealousy, and it was just driving me now. I'm like, I am, I don't care. My friendship with Jen is so secure, I'm not worried about fine being friends with anyone. Whatever.

13:15 Jennifer: Yeah.

13:15 Jackie: Girl, you need some other friends. Yeah. I think that's what I want to say to her.

13:19 Jennifer: Yeah, but we've always been that way. Like we've always been friends with other people. I think even like younger, too, is like, oh, we're gonna hang out with so and so and go over to her house and she's having a party, and it's like, oh yeah, let's go. Like, like I said, I think we we may be more outgoing versus inward. So we are we are more receptive to new people. Doesn't mean we like them all for sure. Right. It just means that I didn't care for her. Yeah, but it does, it just means that we are okay with you having friends that you know we may not get to.

13:50 Jennifer: We may not hang out with you that much with them. Like, I could see that if you had somebody in your world that I just irritated my skin, like the one y'all had before, like I probably wouldn't make a point of trying to hang out whether it's just the you guys and her, like, oh, you want to go out with so-and-so, we're gonna do probably not. Right. Just for sanity reasons. I mean, you don't have to go to everything anybody's ever invited you to. And you certainly don't if you have a good solid best friend, like Jackie was just saying, like, we're secured enough, we know each other well enough, or we're secure in our friendship enough that we're not jealousy isn't a problem.

14:20 Jennifer: Like, it's not uh with any of us, really. It's like if you're gonna go hang out with with Michelle, go camping, cool, have fun, send some pics. Let's see what you know. I hope you guys had a good time. Like, you've gotta and that's age too, though. I mean, let's be honest. You've gotta have a little bit. Some of it, yeah. Some of it's gotta be age. Like when you're younger, maybe and you don't get invited to something a little more. Depends. I guess if I just talk about you and Michelle going camping or whatever, it's great.

14:45 Jennifer: Good for you guys. Have fun. If you and Jen and Jack or you and Jen and Chris and Michelle are gonna hang out, you guys have fun. I'm so uh jealous that I don't get to come, but not really. It's not like like a heartbreak, it's just more like uh, you know, sad that you guys are. Yeah, exactly. So um, but anyways, you gotta have some self-awareness there. And um, are you judging? Are you protecting? So I think you could do both. Um, and then if you are uh if you do have problems, you know, I think one of the things you have to do is maybe say something um to somebody.

15:18 Jennifer: Like if you are in a situation like that and you have you want to express your feelings and not forcing your friend to pick a side, that there's some nice ways to kind of have that conversation to be like, and I'm not one for soft conversations. So when I said I didn't like your friend, I just said I didn't like your friend. But um, and you guys are fine with that, but like I think you could be, you know, hey, I love you, just maybe I just don't give vibe with her, and I'm gonna let you guys hang out by yourselves.

15:48 Jennifer: And when you're done and you want to hang out, like I guess there's some nicer ways to say that kind of stuff that helps ease that so that you don't isolate your friend from a relationship with you because you don't like their friend. Like, you'd probably be better at that because you're a little more softer than I am, I guess. That how do you like tell somebody I don't like your friend? Like, you know what I mean? There's gotta be some soft ways to say it. Like, hey, I love you, I support you.

16:12 Jackie: You are very soft. I don't like your friend. You are very soft about this person.

16:17 Jennifer: That's why I'm coming to you. Because I'd be like, bitch, I don't like her. I like her. There's something shady about her. Y'all have fun with her, but I hang out with her. So that's me, but that's how I would say.

16:26 Jackie: And then there was me. Like I've talked about the one person we're time out, and I'm like, okay, yes, I'll stay in the same hotel room. Yes, I will drive out with her. Yes, I will drive out. That's because she's trying to tell me.

16:37 Jennifer: But how would you like like if you were gonna be nice about it? Because we should probably give some information about this. If you were gonna be nice without sabotaging.

16:45 Jackie: I didn't have to say anything. She showed her true colors by the end of that trip.

16:48 Jennifer: Yeah, but if somebody's listening right now and they're like, I need to know how to tell my friend I don't like her friend, but I still love her, like what would you say? Because you're a softer person than me.

16:56 Jackie: Well, I gotta think about probably just maybe just well, obvious obviously over a few cocktails. And then let's start with like I've got a few cocktails in her for the deep conversation. Then I can really speak. Yeah, exactly. Like, so what is it you like about them? Yeah. And probably just slowly get into the conversation and say, well, there's just something. I'd probably just say there's just something that just don't hold me to it, but there's just something that I can't put my finger on that makes me uncomfortable.

17:22 Jackie: So I just watch your back. I think that's kind of where I'd put it. So you'd not like a yeah. Yeah, like not say, Oh, I don't like them. I just say there's just something I can't put my finger on that then that bugs me, annoys me. There's just something.

17:35 Jennifer: But would you say, hey, you'd be just watch yourself. Yeah, but you would say, Hey, be friends with them, but I'm probably out. Watch your back. Yeah. But I'm but would you say I'm not gonna hang out with you? What would you say?

17:45 Jackie: No, I'd probably still do it because I still want to be around my friend. Right. And and me, the person I would do, because actually, you know, I we have a n a really cool neighborhood and we love everybody, but there's like a couple annoying people, and so we have to hang out when we do, you know, block parties and stuff. And that my sarcastic side comes out, so my little nasty side. So you'll know because I they they might take up the Yeah, I would know.

18:11 Jennifer: I'm like, I make remarks, yeah.

18:13 Jackie: I kind of make them not very comfortable.

18:15 Jennifer: I guess that's the way so you're passive aggressive, is what you're letting out there. Yes, I do. I get passive aggressive.

18:21 Jackie: I admit it, I really do. And I try to stop. I actually noticed I did it a couple weeks ago at a birthday party when the neighbors had a birthday party for their 14-year-old, and all the adults and stuff are there, and it just annoys me. And and I just I was like trying to stop myself. I'm like, okay, just stop. Because his wife's sweet, sweetheart. I'm like trying to see her, like she has to watch everybody kind of treat him like shit or be passive aggressive. And so it's like I try to be good so that she feels comfortable, but and I have to stop, I have to stop myself and check myself once in a while.

18:51 Jackie: But that's how I would be. That means I'd still hang out with them, but I would be very passive aggressive. I admit I am that. That's how I am.

18:58 Jennifer: I would probably be okay. Like I would probably be okay with somebody. I just wouldn't probably engage too much with them.

19:04 Jackie: Like I would be like You just don't talk much to them.

19:06 Jennifer: Yeah, I don't talk much to them. But I'm not like I probably wouldn't be mean. I would never be like, I don't like you. Like I would never say that to somebody, but I would I would not be, I would not be warm in a way that would say, I want to know you better. It'd be like, I got you, I see you, we're good. That's kind of how my vibe would be. I gotcha, I see you. Just so you know. We don't have to talk about it, but don't come at me like, yeah. I just yeah, I would be in an authentic place with that.

19:31 Jennifer: So but you know, sometimes you gotta accept that your best friend may see something in somebody that you don't, and they need that from somebody. Um, I would watch them though, because I'm protective, you're protective too. We would do that. Like this could be harmful at some point, so and they may not be shady. That could be totally off, you know, us being off on that. But we are protective of people. So I think we would definitely one eye open, checking them out, making sure. Um, and you don't have to be friends with all your friends' friends.

20:00 Jennifer: That's not a necessary thing. If you're not jealous, if that's it, if you just don't really vibe with the person, I think it's perfectly fine to that's perfectly fine. Yeah.

20:08 Jackie: But if there's a jealousy thing, you you need to look at yourself a little bit and see why.

20:12 Jennifer: And you know, you need to have a little more just like jealousy and and romantic relationships, jealousy and friendships can ruin it too. Because um, yeah, nobody wants to be suffocated. Everybody wants free will, everybody needs free will. Free will is I want to be able to be friends whoever I want to be friends with, and you know, you can't worry about that.

20:34 Jackie: Like you can't but I will speak up. This is one since you said that too. I will speak up if I feel like these are not good people around you, like around your family. Like I made that remark about these one friends that we had, and they had a party and they had friends there, and they found out later they were just acting so strange and they found out they were doing drugs at their house. Well, they have children, they have dogs. I mean, what if they would have dropped something on the floor and the dog would have ate it, that one of their dogs or their kids would have picked it up and ate it?

21:01 Jackie: I mean, you know, that I feel if you're gonna go to a party's house, someone's house, if if they're your friend and they have children and they have animal, you know, you have these people coming and going, you don't bring that stuff to the to someone's house if they're your friend.

21:13 Jennifer: For sure.

21:14 Jackie: So that that was something where I did speak up and I'm like, I I didn't think that was cool. And I did say because I felt that was harm. You're in harm's you're they're putting you in harm's way. Yeah, putting your family in harm's way. Right. That's just to me, I and I'm very protective over my friends and their children too. All of us, our your children are my children, all of our children are children. Yeah, you know what I mean? So we're gonna protect them all.

21:35 Jennifer: Yeah, of course.

21:35 Jackie: Because that's the that is one that I that one I actually will step up and I actually did say something. And um, because that's that scared me. That's like that's just not not good. I mean, we all drink and do all that and have a good time at party, but when you're bringing drugs and stuff in and you know, that's not cool. Yeah, we draw a line on drugs, kids.

21:54 Jennifer: Like, you know. Yep. Fifty five. Drugs are, you know, not a thing in our world.

21:59 Jackie: So Yeah, but I we wouldn't have done that with with the kids when they were younger either. Our kids when we were in our thirties or four. No, those people wouldn't be if I would have been at your house and you had a bunch of people, I would have told you, hey, this is not cool. You know they have drugs. You know, these are not your friends. You know.

22:14 Jennifer: So 100%.

22:15 Jackie: That's that's that's where I get my I'm not so nice anymore. Passive aggressive, we are some being nice.

22:21 Jennifer: I would I'll just tell you and then be fairly nice to somebody, but not be very warm to them. But I will say my peace to you. At least you know. I mean, that's you know, part of being a friendship. Can't hear everything you can't hear in friendship, can't be all roses and petals. Like sometimes it's gotta be some truths to it. So yeah. But you know, the other thing is is the triangle thing, the three people in a relationship. I think friendships is often hard. There's three's hard. Five's good. We're good with five.

22:47 Jennifer: Actually, five should be hard. To be honest with you, we're not paired up correctly. So typically in friendships, if you have pairing, you can have multiple friends. Three's hard because when one gets mad at the other one, then the other two gain up on it, and that could be a difficult situation. So, you know, if you don't get it.

23:03 Jackie: But that's what when you think of it. I love when you say that because it's like the five of us, I don't think we all gang up on each other at all. No, no, no. I'm just saying, which is so good. No, I'm just saying that's just so nice. You know what I mean? And people even say that. They always say, 'Yeah, oh, you have five? How how do you do that? Yeah, like I don't know. It just works. It works for all of us. Like there's no problems, there's no jealousies, there's nothing. It's just happy, love to be with each other.

23:28 Jackie: It's supportive, loving friendship.

23:30 Jennifer: Yeah.

23:30 Jackie: We're really lucky. We are very lucky.

23:32 Jennifer: We are 100%. I agree with you. So just be careful. If you're in a threesome though, with friendship, just I would just be often, you know, try to separate yourself from that and try to spend some time with a person one-on-one that you really enjoy. If the other one is, you know, tough, it is, it is what it is. Or maybe find a new friend, bring in a four because two on two is better than one on three, two, or whatever, you know, the dynamics of that. So, you know, and you're feeling left out, just make sure you're not feeling left out or you're just feeling protective.

24:01 Jennifer: Like you gotta, you gotta have some self-reflection. Where is this coming from? Why do I feel this way? And what is really happening? Is it really that going on in my friend's life? Am I really making something out of nothing? Am I really gonna destroy this friendship because of my insecurities or my feelings of feeling left out? So it's a tough one. It can be if there's just a couple of you in that. Um, check yourself a little bit, make sure that you're coming from a place of authenticity that you really are worried about this person.

24:30 Jennifer: And if you are, say something. If you're not, if it's just jealousy, like are you known to be jealous? This is probably a jealousy problem, and you gotta kind of reflect on that. Like, you don't own somebody, people have free will, and you have to be able to let them otherwise you're drive your friends out of your out of your circle anyway and push them out. All right. So who's more likely to give a fake nice energy around people they don't like? Fake nice, that's me. Yeah. Still you're passive aggressive though.

24:56 Jennifer: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

25:00 Jennifer: But I could do the fake nice too. I think I would pick up on your passive aggressiveness more than other people might. If you don't know you, you may not pick it up as easily. Oh my god, she just tug as he dug at that guy.

25:13 Jackie: It may not seem that way, but I can see, I think Jen, Jen, um, the other Jen would see it too.

25:20 Jennifer: Yeah, okay, for sure.

25:22 Jackie: Yeah, she would see it. Yeah.

25:25 Jennifer: Michelle, I don't think Michelle would be fake nice. Michelle would just be like, she doesn't nothing bothers Michelle. So she'd be like, whatever. Yeah. She's just so easygoing.

25:34 Jackie: Yeah, she's so easygoing. I think uh And I think Chrissy can be fake nice and she can be fake nice. Yeah. Yeah, everybody all of them can. I can be fake nice. I think I'm I think I'm I can be. I can be fake aggressive. I do my passive aggressive. I am. I can't.

25:49 Jennifer: I just don't engage. I don't like you, I don't engage with you. You'll know it. Yeah. You'll feel it because it's just there's no nothing there. So, anyways.

25:56 Jackie: Who's the better peacemaker when group dynamics get weird? I'm pretty good with that. Pro I was gonna say you. Yeah. But that but you like to put yourself in the middle of it to do that. I do. Does that make sense? You do. Yeah, you're like even if it really hasn't become something, but you feel like it's gonna become something, you get head of the game.

26:15 Jennifer: I'm gonna get this one settled before we have a problem with it. So here's you do. That's I would, I would, I would be in the middle because I don't like Discord. Like, I want peace to some degree. Like, at least amounts of people I love, like I said, as long as it's not the in the group. But if we were all having a dynamic problem, I would be like, we need to talk about this. I feel like the rest of you would be like, if we ignore it, it'll go away. And I'm like, nope, nope, we need to talk about this.

26:42 Jennifer: You know what I mean? Exactly. Yeah. So I probably would be the one that do it. And I would look at everybody's side. I think I'm pretty good at looking at sides and being like, well, we need to, you know. I I probably wouldn't jump on somebody and be like, it's you, you did it. Be like, I see what you're saying, and I can understand how you feel with that because that's peace. Peace isn't, you know, getting groups together to and also I've been a manager for so long in my life. I think it comes naturally from that.

27:07 Jennifer: Like, can't pit people against each other, you gotta solve problems. So, anyways, who's the most toxic friend you've tolerated out of loyalty? That's probably the friend you were talking about. Mm-hmm. That you thought was a toxic friend. Um yeah, a toxic friend you've tolerated out of loyalty. I think everybody does that to some degree. Trying to think of people.

27:30 Jackie: I can't think of many other friends. Just the one that was really was for me. I mean, I'm sure there might be people that have a lot. I don't know. Yeah. If you have a friend that has a lot of friends, but um, but I think pretty much all of our friends, everybody's friends are pretty good. I get along with everybody else's other friends too, like Michelle going camping. Um, and that was all new people. Um, their neighbor, and then her it was the neighbors and their their uh family, their parents, and we had a great time.

27:56 Jackie: My husband's easygoing too, so it's real nice.

27:58 Jennifer: Like we can Yeah, your husband is.

28:00 Jackie: You know, until you do something, you know make us feel like there's something wrong with you, you know.

28:07 unknown: Right.

28:08 Jackie: Otherwise, we give everybody I I'm I'm friends with everybody. I'm good until you do something.

28:13 Jennifer: Right. Yeah, your husband's pretty outgoing. Like my husband's pretty closed off and pretty isolated to himself, so there's a lot of energy to go out with him because I have to be my side and his side because he's so quiet, you know? So it's a lot of a lot of energy on top of me. So, anyways, what's the next one?

28:31 Jackie: Who would actually call it out if the vibes were off? I don't think I'd actually call it. I wouldn't call it out. I just let it kind of slide, see what happens. I would. I'd probably call it out. Like that's we're going on. What about what about uh oh gosh, what was the name that we made up for uh some of Chris's friends? Was it the one? Yes. Yes. That was one that was kind of like, is she your friend? I know. I don't like her. We even made up a name.

28:56 Jennifer: I know.

28:58 Jackie: I just thought of her. No, you gotta bear with this, guys. When you're doing podcasts sometimes, and if you feel like you're left out because we don't mention you or something and we forget, or like it's a compliment, it's hard to do these and remember everything. I'll get off all of a sudden be like, oh, I forgot to mention this about so and so. I forgot to mention this. So, anywho, right, exactly.

29:20 Jackie: We're like, hey, he's not cool.

29:22 Jennifer: And you were like, I guess Chris has got a friend we're not too fond of either.

29:26 Jackie: So we're not here for you, Chris. Right. We would change energy. So we'll give a fake name. So in case we were at a bar where you live and we ran into her. That's what good friends we are.

29:37 Jennifer: Yeah, that's the kind of friends we are. We rename people.

29:41 Jackie: All right. So what's funny is after she said that, and let's talk about that right after that. Remember, we did run into one of her friends at one of the bars. So it was good that we changed names.

29:52 Jennifer: Yes, Chrissy always wants us to be very mindful about who we're talking about. She's very good at protecting people, but we kind of make fun of her about it. Not fun of her, but we poke at her a little bit with it because we like who do why do we care that much? But in her world, it's very powerful. So, anyways, if this episode hit you in the fields or made you laugh out loud way too hard, we consider that a win.

30:12 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die.

30:16 Jennifer: And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com. Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.