Didn’t Show Up: When Friends Ghost Your Biggest Moments

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer.

0:01 Jackie: And I'm Jackie.

0:02 Jennifer: And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised, where best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind bestimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:11 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh until you snort stuff. So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company. Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right, today's title. Episode title is She Didn't Show Up When Friends Ghost Your Biggest Moments. This is uh, we actually had someone ask us to do an episode on this. So the episode description is what do you do when your best friend misses your wedding and doesn't even call?

0:37 Jackie: In this episode of Slightly Unsupervised, me and Jen are gonna break down the pain, confusion, and fury of being abandoned on a day that was supposed to matter to both of us. I wasn't emotionally available, a valid excuse or a pot cop out. Let's talk about ghosting, grace, and when forgiveness feels impossible.

0:54 Jennifer: So, anyways, we want to kind of give you a little backstory on what we've got going on here. We've had a um uh viewer or listener, I guess, uh, actually send us a uh situation that happened to her, and she was asking us to talk about it. So that's what we're gonna do today. So um one of our listeners was supposed to be had a wedding, a small courthouse wedding, and her best friend was supposed to be a maid of honor. And evidently her best friend from high school the night before texted her and said, Hey, I'm not feeling well emotionally and I can't come.

1:23 Jennifer: Then the day of, no phone call, no follow-up. But the very next day, she follows up on, she shows up on Instagram at brunch with her girlfriends. So she missed her best friend's wedding, didn't even call to check in on her on the day of her wedding to see if any of that she was doing okay. And then following the day after her wedding, then she's back to lunch or brunch posting pictures on Instagram for her friends. So this is kind of what we want to talk about. So, you know, one of the things is like you ride or die, basically, and you're not riding or dying in this instance.

1:56 Jackie: No, that's awful.

1:58 Jennifer: It's awful, and you know, I'm I own a wedding chapel, so weddings are a huge deal for anybody going in there. It's a nerve-wracking. It's like sometimes you just need someone to show up just to be your support person, right? Somebody that's like definitely familiar to you that makes you feel more comfortable in in your environment that you're looking to them for being there just to it's one thing to be your best friend. It's another thing to invite somebody to your wedding to just be like, I need somebody that makes me feel like they're on my side too.

2:29 Jennifer: I don't know. I it's not my side, but you know what I mean? Like supporting me. Yeah, that's kind of what a best friend does. I don't even know if it needs to be the title of your matron of honor or your maid of honor. It's really just like somebody who comes up to su support you. If I showed, if you had a wedding jack and you were getting married at the courthouse and you needed me and I text you and said, Hey, it's not an emotionally good day for me. I'm not gonna be able to come. How would you feel with that?

2:52 Jennifer: And then how would you feel the next day when I don't even don't even call or text you?

2:56 Jackie: Well, first of all, you're my ride or die. Right. And you should be making it. Of course, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna be it's this isn't about you, this is about me. Well, it actually it's about us. Like I want you're the person I asked to be there. Come on. Right. No, I would not be happy. Yeah. I don't know. That would not be that would not probably fly for me. Right.

3:17 Jennifer: I don't think it would fly for me either because it's like emotionally well. It's also planned.

3:21 Jackie: It's also planned.

3:22 Jennifer: Right. It's not like something that just Yeah, yeah.

3:25 Jackie: It's like, oh, we plan this for this day. You've known about it. And then if I'm sorry, if I saw brunch pictures, I'd be coming through those that phone.

3:34 Jennifer: Right. I think she I think this friend just really screwed this friendship up. One the day before putting that on the bride to be be like, you have enough shit to worry about. Now you gotta worry about the fact that I can't come. I'm not emotionally well enough to come to your wedding. Like, right.

3:50 Jackie: And where was the friend the night before? I think I still would have been there like the night before checking on you and hey, is everything everything in order? Do you need me to do anything? Right. So that would kind of question me too, if like you weren't trying to get a hold of me to make sure everything's still okay and I'm you know ready to go. You know what I mean?

4:05 Jennifer: Well, then the day up, she doesn't she tells you the night before, hey, I'm not coming. I'm emotionally not well. But then the day up doesn't even check in with her. I mean, yeah, what is that? That's a rough one.

4:16 Jackie: Hey, girl, I don't blame you if that friendship ended, but you know, to each their own.

4:22 Jennifer: That is rough.

4:23 Jackie: That's for sure.

4:24 Jennifer: I think that this this best friend just failed so miserably. I mean, let's give her grace. Let's talk about it from a grace standpoint. Let's give her grace that she had an emotionally bad day and she couldn't come. And she told you that's the night before. That's that's a disappointment. I don't care who you are, that's a disappointment. I don't care how, you know, sensitive you are to people's emotional needs or whatever capacity. Everybody can suck it up and do something they don't want to do.

4:47 Jennifer: I mean, you can, you have to sometimes. I mean, but if you did, if you gave her grace the night before, the cardinal sin was the day of. You didn't even text or call. Right. How difficult is that? It's the bat. That's not a friend. I don't even think that's a friend.

5:03 unknown: I know.

5:04 Jennifer: That's awful. I just couldn't see any of you doing that to me, but you know, not even not even a good morning, today's your day. I'm so happy for you. I'm sorry I can't be there.

5:14 Jackie: Mm-hmm.

5:15 Jennifer: You know what I mean? Be silent. It's like dead silence.

5:18 Jackie: I mean, we don't know what the background of of her friend, if she had mental health pro problems and she she was known for disappearing, then that's a whole nother situation.

5:26 Song: Yes.

5:27 Jackie: But I mean, we weren't given that that information, but we're just going off of she just didn't show up. So Right.

5:34 Jennifer: But she I'm thinking she did show up the next day to brunch.

5:38 Jackie: Right. Right. And then I'm sorry if you have mental health situations too, then you probably shouldn't be at brunch drinking if you've been having a rough time.

5:47 Jennifer: Right. Right. I mean, we don't know the backstory. Maybe there's a there's a situation here where she was supposed to get married and couldn't, and then she's like, oh, I just can't possibly come to your wedding because it's a hit on my mental I was still.

6:00 Jackie: It's definitely one that you really need to talk to your friend and figure it out. But yeah, I'd have a problem. Because if I invited if you were the person I asked to be there in the first place, there's a reason and I expected you to be there. You know, you wouldn't think something was gonna happen, I guess. I I'm like, you're you're the person. I mean, like I ran away, you know, and got married. Right. And and we went with a few people and that was it, and no one knew, and we just had to make it quick, and they all showed up, no problem.

6:28 Jackie: Yeah.

6:28 Jennifer: It's okay. It's okay if you don't want anybody at your wedding. I tell my brides that all the time because people come in and run off to get married, and they don't tell anybody, and they're having another wedding, they're having a bigger wedding, but they don't want to make the wedding about the whole group, they want to admit it to themselves, so they come run over here and get m they run on and get a lope and get married or whatever, and it's just the two of them. And in that case, that's fine.

6:49 Jennifer: It's like I told them, I go, as long as you don't have anybody here, nobody can get mad at you. It's when you have one or two people that you know that are there, and then you tell people that you had other people, then they get their feelings hurt.

7:00 Jackie: I go, as long as you Oh yeah, we did deal with that. We dealt with people get having their feelings hurt. Oh yes, yes. For getting married, yes. And we didn't like invite them because we did have other people, but there were circumstances of why we invited the the ones that we did. It was family and um one that my husband wanted in his first wedding that he was told he couldn't. And it was like one of those last minute things, and some they were already going to to Vegas, so we're like, hey, we're gonna come along.

7:30 Jackie: Then we're like, hey, we're gonna go ahead and get married while we're there. We're not gonna sit and try to plan this because every time we try to plan a wedding, something happened. So someone would interfere. So the best thing was was just to jump on the on the wagon and go with them and yeah, get done. That's what we do.

7:44 Jennifer: Yeah, you have kids, so there's always that situation. How many of them become? Yeah.

7:49 Jackie: Well, you see that and it was other our my daughters, my stepdaughters, they had already gone through their mom getting remarried. So, you know, so they didn't want another big winning with their dad and dealing with that stuff.

8:00 Jennifer: It's but I mean, like people get their feelings hurt. This happens all the time at my chapel, too. It's like it's like I said, I go, You're okay if you invite nobody, but once you invite one person, ever somebody's feelings gets hurt because there's another there's an opposite side of that.

8:13 Jackie: And it was the same thing with our parents. We didn't tell our parents, like we literally just just said, let's do it like the next weekend. It's what we did. Because they were going, we're like, Yeah, we'll go with you guys. And so we didn't tell, like, we didn't tell my parents. My parents are Missouri and his mother was out here in California. And so we're like, no, no parents sent just let's just go do it. And it's just because we went with these people, you know what I mean? So come we come with us because you need to wit, you need witnesses.

8:36 Jackie: You're likely in Nashville because they don't need a witness.

8:38 Jennifer: Right. You don't know.

8:41 Jackie: Nashville does not need witnesses, but so actually, my husband's best friend, he signed as our witness on our marriage license, which is totally special to him. Right.

8:49 Jennifer: So I don't remember any of us getting mad at you about getting married over there.

8:53 Jackie: No, no, congratulations. But we're gonna redo it. We're gonna redo it at your chapel, of course.

8:58 Jennifer: That's right, with Elvis.

8:59 Jackie: And then we said we'll have the kids and we'll have you guys and the big party afterwards.

9:04 Jennifer: Well, exactly.

9:06 Jackie: But yeah, but my my husband's mom got a little upset. She actually wouldn't even acknowledge our anniversary for a few years because she wasn't invited.

9:16 Jennifer: Really? But she'd seen she'd seen him get married the first time, correct? Exactly. So this was just the second marriage, and he just ran off and got married. Yeah. I think that I think that happens to a lot of brides that uh they end up having to get married again to appease the family members that didn't get to see it. I could see it the first time you'd want to see your child get married, but if they're getting married after that, I feel like this is the second for both of us.

9:42 Jackie: My parents were fine with it, they understood.

9:44 unknown: Yeah.

9:44 Jackie: They're like, we just want you happy. Go for it. Yeah.

9:48 Jennifer: But if you had invited But if you had invited us and I'm like last minute, I'm like, hey, Jack, not coming. I don't feel like emotionally well to be up to the the driveover to Vegas or something would be rough for you.

10:00 Jackie: That would be rough for me.

10:01 Jennifer: Yeah. Because you're depending on somebody to come to be in your wedding and support you and they're not there to do it.

10:08 Jackie: Yeah, definitely.

10:09 Jennifer: And then show up and party the day after, like, woo-hoo, here we go. So I don't know, we don't know these people and we don't know their situation, but I think that there's definitely a uh an amount of responsibility you have to be someone's best friend and to be show up for them, even if you don't feel like you can, or even if you feel like you're it's hard on you. It's you've gotta maybe the hard part needed to be talked about before she'd ever accepted. Like, let's say let's put this scenario together.

10:39 Jennifer: You ask me to be in your wedding, and I'm like, let me think about it. I don't think I can do it because it's I didn't get married. Something happened on my side, and I don't, you know, we don't know the situation behind this one. But let's just say I had was supposed to get married at the same chapel and I was gonna have a marriage and it fell apart, and I don't think I can do it.

10:58 Jackie: How do you so you give it the I definitely hope just because you haven't gotten married that you're not gonna be happy for your friend? I mean, I'm sorry, that scenario I don't like. The one that'd be like, really? Like, but you're not gonna support me, you know what I mean? But maybe if there was a divorce or something, and it was if it was like new that that this all just happened and you know, you're still getting over things, then you know, then you talk to your friend about it and say this is gonna be hard on me, you know.

11:25 Jackie: But I don't know, it might this is me, okay. I'm just speaking for myself. Me, I'm gonna put my those things aside and be there for my friend. Yeah. And be there because she wants me there. I mean, that's because that's you can never get that back.

11:37 Jennifer: Right. It's a way. Yeah.

11:39 Jackie: It's I mean, that's not a reason for you to go and renew your vows because your friend decided she emotionally, physically couldn't be there.

11:47 Jennifer: Right. So now I'm gonna have two weddings so that you can come to the second one when you feel better that day or whatever. Right. Yeah, I'm with you on this. I don't think that I, no matter what, I would drag my ass down there and do it. I just would. I don't think there's any barrier that would, you know, especially if you're the only one that's coming. We don't know.

12:07 Jackie: I and then was she the only one? Oh, I didn't know if that was in the story.

12:10 Jennifer: Yeah, she's uh she got married at the courthouse. So I'm gonna say that the courthouse weddings are usually only one or two people.

12:17 Jackie: If it's two, it's usually a husband and wife that go with them. Yeah. You know, another like couple that you're friends with or whatever that go. Right. Or your one parent or whatever, or sister, whatever.

12:29 Jennifer: Yeah, I get it. I know. But I think that, you know, even if if that's such a small thing and being invited would be such a privilege to be even invited to something like that because you'd be like, man, I mean something to you, and then to deny it last minute.

12:45 Jackie: This is a hard one. Man, I'm glad I've never been in this situation. What what what would you okay? Here's the next thing. What would you say to the friend afterwards? There you go. What would that conversation be?

12:57 Jennifer: I think I'm just I don't know if I'd have a conversation.

12:59 Jackie: I don't either.

13:01 Jennifer: I might be ghosting. I might be like, that deserves a timeout for a while. This is not this is not acceptable to be to be that disregarded in that. And then I'm not sure I would talk to that person again because I'd feel very, I don't know. I'd feel very disappointed in the situation. I mean, that's how you would feel.

13:23 Jackie: Yeah, you'd be I'd start questioning my friendship with that person. Definitely. Like, is this the person I want to continue the rest of my life with? You know what I mean? Uh well, it also puts in question.

13:35 Jennifer: It also puts a question like, what else are you going to fill it on?

13:40 Jackie: Like, yeah, what about your children? What about when you start having kids or you know, right? Even let's talk about lately, you know, like health. You know, us dealing with health issues, you know, we're all getting older. Are you gonna be there when I need you? I mean, we've had stories of bestimonies of people that have come that, you know, they were there for the friend that had cancer and almost died and was there for every single moment. When they moved in together, yeah. You know, that type of stuff, just to help them.

14:05 Jackie: Just to help them. This person, I don't see this person doing that.

14:09 Jennifer: Oh no.

14:10 Jackie: This person, this person feels like they are you'll be lucky if you get flowers in the while you're in the hospital. And that's a good scapegoat.

14:21 Jennifer: Man, heard you're not feeling well. Here's some flowers. Yeah, I think um you're right. I don't know. I here's the thing. I don't know. This person probably had shown their true colors before. You don't this isn't like a one-time person that does this. This is a person that probably has a history of doing it because they would not behave that way if they weren't, if that was the very first time they did it.

14:44 Jackie: Right.

14:45 Jennifer: I don't think that you can and maybe maybe this person didn't lean on this person, but I if I had to say something to this person afterwards, let's just put ourselves in that scenario. I would probably say this be like, I get it. You have mental health days and everybody does get down on it. I probably would have showed up for you. Um, that's just me though. And what I'm most disappointed with in this situation is that on the day of, I never heard from you. Mm-hmm. Nothing like you couldn't text.

15:13 Jennifer: Mental health doesn't require texting, is pretty easy. If you can't get on the phone to talk, that's okay. That you couldn't text me, you couldn't ask how my day was, you couldn't say, I love you, have the best day. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, um, send me pictures. Anything that makes you feel supported, even on the day of, if you can't do it. And then the salt in the wound when you then go on with your friends the very next day, like and post.

15:40 Jackie: That's like I said, I just don't think there'd be another conversation, at least for a while.

15:45 Jennifer: If you had to say something, what would you say?

15:47 Jackie: I'd probably say I'm gonna need time.

15:49 unknown: Yeah.

15:50 Jackie: Because I I'm I I I don't want to react until my mind is settled down more clear.

15:56 Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah. We can be reactive for sure when we get into moments of things.

16:01 Jackie: And I worry about that these days. I mean, I used to not care about being reactive, whatever I'd say it, and then later I probably shouldn't have said that. But you know, at that point, what I've learned, you can't take it back. They heard it. They're still gonna think about the fact that you said that, you know, in that moment.

16:16 Song: Right.

16:16 Jackie: So I try to like step back now. Right. So I don't know if I was in my twenties and that happened, I'd probably just be like, F you.

16:23 Jennifer: Right.

16:23 Jackie: Onward. I'm more that way now.

16:26 Jennifer: I'm like, F you. We're not in friends anymore. I'll talk to you later. Bye. No, I wouldn't exactly talk to you later. I'd be like, so yeah, exactly. Yeah, I mean, I can give grace. I can. I'm a gracie person. I'm like, I understand things happen. I mean, I've missed people's wedding before, and and to a good friend of ours, and we've talked about that in other episodes, that that my water lane, my main water line broke at my house, and I just couldn't leave. I mean, there just was no way for me to go.

16:53 Jennifer: But and it wasn't like a courthouse wedding where I was the only person invited. So it's not an excuse. I don't want to give excuses for it.

16:59 Jackie: I'm just And a courthouse wedding is like your wedding, it's a short and sweet wedding. It's a like a 10-minute show up for 10 minutes. I know. You could you couldn't even just give 10 minutes, just go sign the paperwork so you're happy, and then go if that if that's how you're feeling. Because they're gonna understand that too. But you showed up for those few minutes to be there with them to celebrate this, you know?

17:19 Jennifer: Because courthouse weddings are that way. It's like come from the front, say your thing. Super quick. Yeah, those are like our little short and sweet weddings that we do. So we know it's not it's no extra time there. You just take get married and off you go. Like that's it. So um, yeah, I think that it's probably an irre it's not repairable, I don't think. I don't think you can I don't think you can come back from that. Not not in the behavior of which the next things that happen. I don't think there's any maybe you can forgive them mental health day.

17:49 Jennifer: I don't know if I can really give forgive the no text, no call, no whatever. And then just something, right? Add salt to the wound when you then can go to brunch the very next day after that and you're with your friends, everything's fine.

18:02 Jackie: Yeah, I don't think I'd want to see those pictures. If I saw those pictures, I'd be given probably more comments. But those brunch pictures are, you know, she's looking good. She's like I know.

18:11 Jennifer: It's like I thought you were having a bad day. You couldn't show up for me. Man, I don't know. I think that, you know, the things that friendship you have to do is that it's sometimes it's not fun. Sometimes you're like, ah, I don't want to do this, and you go anyways, because you know, loyalty I'm a big loyalty person. I think you are too. That if you can't be loyal to the person and do and make that make it about them sometimes and not you, uh, you probably don't have what I would consider a really good best friend because best friends will suck it up.

18:48 Jackie: Yeah, definitely. I think that that's you know and if there is something wrong, you're you should be close enough that you know that other friend might have a problem showing up. I mean, because we're putting in scenarios because we're just getting the the outline from them. Right, right. So, like, at some point we'd like to have people on here so we can actually hear the story. You know what I mean? Because we're just going off what was here. We're making stuff up. We don't know. We're just doing because we want to, you know, g give different sides of it could be.

19:16 Jackie: But I think that obviously this hurt this person. So there had she did not expect this. She didn't. That's why we're putting mental health in it. And I'm kind of like, just because we're trying to take sides of everything going on in the world these days, but I think I think she would have put that in here. She wouldn't this wouldn't have upset her as much because she knew she was having problems. You know what I mean?

19:35 Jennifer: Yeah. Like I was worried she wasn't gonna be able to come and then she couldn't.

19:39 Jackie: Yeah. So like giving grace to them, it's it's it's it's whatever this the story is. But it sounds to me like this friend just did not show up for her.

19:48 Jennifer: Right.

19:48 Jackie: And yeah, at that point, like if we just go off what we got from her, I would say that would not be my friend anymore.

19:55 Jennifer: Right.

19:55 Jackie: I'm gonna reclaim my power, right?

19:57 Jennifer: Right. Sorry. You're big into Mel Robbins right now, so you're reclaiming your power. I love it.

20:02 Jackie: Exactly. I love listening to her, and all the people she talks to. Yes, and and not everybody's too into her, but it's okay. I mean, I some of she what she says is questionable, especially if I listen to it with my husband, because he's like, Well, you could take two sides of that, of course.

20:19 Jennifer: How he But that doesn't have anything to do with you. Who does who speaks to your soul? That's it. That's all you need to worry about, Jackie. You you go on with your Mel Robbins and you take it. I like her. I think she's got some good stuff to say. Uh-huh. You can always take stuff from stuff, but I think in this one, we're just gonna let you know that if this was us, we probably would be moving on to new best friends or at least to and you may uh you may naturally get there. I'm gonna be honest with you.

20:46 Jennifer: Sometimes when one gets married and the other one isn't married, you're taking your wife, your life takes a a left when everybody's still on the straight or narrow heading down the road. So sometimes even just getting married, and maybe that was her thought too, is like, oh, we're never gonna be the same. She's getting married, her life's changing, I don't need to be there. You know, we're trying to give the person that, you know, basically bailed out on us some kind of grace here, but that's not either even though we really don't need to.

21:13 Jennifer: We're trying here, we're trying to figure out your problem here, why you would do this to your friend. But we're having a hard time even coming up with it. So yeah, I mean, it may be it may be a natural time for you to split, anyways. I mean, at this point, you're going down the road of marriage and they're going down the road of probably being single still and living their lives, and maybe that's why she didn't show up with you. Maybe she was jealous.

21:32 Jackie: Have to So she went to brunch with all the single girls the next day.

21:36 Jennifer: Yeah, she's like, these are my people now. You are no longer my friend. Um goodness.

21:40 Jackie: I say what does this teach us about our friendships?

21:43 Jennifer: Well, it teaches you that showing up for somebody, if you want to continue to be a friend, a good friend, show up. If you even if you don't want to, even if it is rough, even if it is something that makes you uncomfortable, even if you're having a bad health day, go. Because if you there's that What's that saying? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. My mother told me that from the day I was born. So if you want someone to do something for you, you have to be willing to do that for somebody else, right?

22:10 Jackie: So I think that's Friendship isn't always about being fun. If it wasn't gonna be fun for you, we're sorry, but it's about your presence, right?

22:17 Jennifer: Yeah. It's important. People want to be important. Alright, Jack, let's go to rapid dusty stories. I think we've our questions, I think we've given our opinion on this one. Who's more likely to flake class minute?

22:29 Jackie: Neither of us.

22:30 Jennifer: I don't think so.

22:31 Jackie: Mm-mm.

22:31 Jennifer: I don't really have a scenario where we've done that. So um no. I think we try to show up.

22:39 Jackie: No.

22:40 Jennifer: I think we try to show up if we're going to.

22:42 Jackie: Yep. If we say we're gonna do it, we do it.

22:44 Jennifer: Yeah. I think we're both kind of good at that.

22:46 Jackie: Mm-hmm.

22:46 Jennifer: You're next.

22:47 Jackie: What's one event you'd never miss for your best friend? Her wedding? Wedding.

22:52 Jennifer: Would be one of those ones that is right there at the top of the thing for sure. I think you know, like try to be there for birthdays if you can, but they're not the milestones. The milestones, yeah. Not every birthday. Yeah.

23:04 Jackie: You know, breakups over there. Happy to be able to do that.

23:07 Jennifer: Something happened to somebody lost something and you could, you know, be there for somebody. Like it's just part of the friendship contract. You're just you gotta make those you gotta make it happen. And you know, I know for sure. If you if something happened in in my world over here and I was following like I know you'd be on a plane here. Like I know it for sure. Right. You'd be like, I'm definitely yeah. And I would expect and honestly, I don't know, you know, the other ones work, so I know that's not even a thing, but like but I could see them all trying to.

23:39 Jackie: I could see them all trying to work, okay. Like we can't come today, but we'll you know, we'll be there on Friday. Right. As soon as you get off, we're gonna get a flight. Just it's kind of like my birthday. Hello, when you guys all surprise me. What birthday was that up at your place?

23:51 Jennifer: Yeah.

23:52 Jackie: I mean, that shows mean three of our girlfriends had to fly up. My husband drove me up, and I thought it was just gonna be us with Jen for the weekend and her husband. And we they took me out to breakfast the next day. They literally only flew up for one day, one night overnight for my birthday. That was like so special. That was like a that was cool.

24:09 Jennifer: Yeah. So yeah, and we pulled it off, which was even cooler. You did. Because Jenny is in the middle of everything. So the fact that she was blowing for me not to know at all.

24:20 Jackie: Yeah, that was the biggest surprise ever. But showing up, you guys made that plan. I would have never thought I would have never expected the other three to put buy flight tickets to come for one night for my birthday. I think that's why it really surprised me because I knew they weren't, they all get off on Friday, they all work, you know. But the fact that they came and we went to breakfast on Saturday morning and all of a sudden we get back and they're sitting in the room. I I actually sat in the door on them because I guess she did.

24:47 Jennifer: It's so funny. She literally opened the door because they were up. So my son picked them up at the airport. I we took her to breakfast, got her out of town, and then kind of we made her go look at my son's house that he was buying. Like we needed some time. So my son ran to uh the airport, picked these girls up, which is about an hour and a half away, brought them home, got them in that car, and put them in. I've texted with him and I've got him. I go put him in her room where she's sleeping upstairs in the spare bedroom.

25:13 Jennifer: And then I'll send her up to go get something upstairs when we get there, and then she'll see them. And so they were just sitting right there on the bed. And Jackie, when she was like, I think I don't remember why we were stopping. We're gonna go to Costco or something. They were like, Well, let's stop. I need to get something. So then Jackie's like, I'm gonna grab a jacket or something because it's kind of colder up there. So you're like, I'm gonna go upstairs. And then she went upstairs, and we're all three downstairs because it's her husband, my husband, and me.

25:38 Jennifer: And maybe my son was there at that time. I don't remember because he had brought them back. But we sat at the bottom and we're like listening, and she opens a door and she screams and then she slams the door. So I go up and I'm like, What are you doing here?

25:51 Jackie: Just sitting on the bed, like, is this wrong? Should we not have come up here?

25:55 Jennifer: And she's just standing at the door, and I'm like, No, go in. They're here, and she's like, What? Like, disoriented, didn't know because there we have a video of it because the the three of them on the bed were videoing it. So it's funny because you just see her go, ah, slams the door, and she doesn't come right back in. She's just standing out there. So, like, I have to come up and go in. I'm like, Happy birthday.

26:16 Jackie: Um, yeah, so it was that was a like I like it says one event you you never miss, but uh it was just a fact of what you guys did to get it all together. That was pretty cool.

26:25 Jennifer: So yeah, to make all you guys happen.

26:27 Jackie: Never done what Britney did to Michelle in the story.

26:30 Jennifer: No, no, ma'am. All right, who shows up with a casserole in crisis?

26:35 Jackie: So that's for sure you mean because Jen, well, she would get it, but she would order it.

26:39 Jennifer: I would send something, no doubt. If I can buy a casserole and send it, no, them they don't do all that kind of stuff now.

26:47 Jackie: You can send, like my dad was when he was um home after the hospital at one point. I even sent like soups and stuff. Like they have it. You can send for anything now to people.

26:56 Jennifer: That's I would send it.

26:57 Jackie: And it's not because my parents live in Missouri, so I always jump out there just so people know whenever something happens, but I can only stay for so much time. Right. So that's my way of doing it is I'll send stuff like that so that you know it helps my mom out, but then it's like he's getting something different and it's healthy. Yeah.

27:12 Jennifer: Yeah. I would send, I just wouldn't cook. I'm not a cook guy, so there's just no way that I'm cooking up a casserole, taking it to anybody. Nobody wants my casseroles if I do.

27:23 Jackie: And your first one would be a tuna, right?

27:27 Jennifer: You'd be lucky, whatever's in the refrigerator. I don't even know. We'd have to because I hate the store too, by the way. If I gotta go to the store, there's a whole other problem.

27:34 Jackie: She also might ask her husband to do it for her.

27:36 Jennifer: Yeah, he would. But I'm always good for buying things. If we need it, buy I'm good at that. So anyways.

27:43 Jackie: And you're good at setting up uh reservations. Very good.

27:47 Jennifer: It's my forte, actually.

27:49 Jackie: Yes. All right. What's the worst excuse you've ever given for not showing up?

27:54 unknown: I don't know.

27:55 Jackie: I don't know what my worst is. Probably just saying I'm sick and I'm not. I don't know. I don't think I've done anything really, really bad. What's the worst excuse? No, because my husband did have COVID. I was gonna say I said COVID, but my husband did. So at that point, they were telling you that if you're around that person, then you shouldn't go out in front of people too.

28:13 Jennifer: Right.

28:13 Jackie: So I kind of and I felt bad doing it because actually we were supposed to go to a wedding, and the ones that were getting married um actually called. The husband called uh husband to be and said, Well, you can still come if you because I I tested negative, right? But my husband had it. So at that, remember at the beginning, they were like, Okay, if you're even around it, don't come around anybody, stay isolated.

28:35 Jennifer: COVID, yeah. COVID was like uh the COVID was a whole lot.

28:38 Jackie: So but I did feel guilty, but then I was kind of like, Oh, well that's it. You could have had it though.

28:42 Jennifer: If you were exposed, you could have had it. So I'm just giving you an excuse for your excuse. But it's true, that was the excuse then. If you were around it, you could give it to somebody, so I think you're okay. All right, who would have still come in a thunderstorm, no makeup, and unwashed hair? I think all of us I think we would. I don't think it matters.

29:01 Jackie: Our whole group would, all of us would.

29:03 Jennifer: I don't think that matters. I don't think there's any real barriers of that. So but but I want to just say this and wrap up here. But those are the people that you want in your life, those are the friends that you should cherish. Um and maybe you have a best friend that you think is your best friend in the whole world, and you have another friend that, you know, just just shows up for you, really does show up for you, and really does make a point of all these things and does all these things that we say, or you know, a good sign of a best friend.

29:31 Jennifer: You know, maybe take a second look at somebody and be like, which one is actually feeding your soul? Which one is actually giving you the kind of relationship you need to trust somebody? And maybe you need to make an adjustment too. Maybe you need to give grace to somebody that is really there for you, that you don't really give them that title because you're so caught up with somebody else, and that other person, you know, maybe in this situation doesn't show up for your wedding and isn't really your friend.

29:56 Jennifer: And sometimes, you know, they're undercover and they're there and you're just not paying attention to it. So that's just something to think about. No big deal. Anyways, if this episode hit you in the feels or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

30:08 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die.

30:11 Jennifer: And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book a bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

30:16 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

30:32 Song: We stick together at your die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. Reuniting's like we've never been apart, and every single time we're out of eye and heart to heart.

31:00 Song: There's not enough words to describe what you all made a make To put eggs and ups and dance and just like you stayed right next to me. I'll make you laugh till you cry. Don't cut the big thing on the definition of the best friend. It's good.

31:34 Song: It's good to do it, but every single hate we're writing a story, every day we'll keep on going to your last loyalty, you and me trust that's loyalty, UM