Besties, Boys & Boundaries: When You Both Catch Feelings

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer, and I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind bestimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:11 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh-to-snort stuff.

0:16 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

0:22 Jackie: Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right, today, our episode description is all it's all fun and flirty until you both catch feelings. In this episode of Slightly Unsupervised, me and Jen are going to break down what happens when two best friends fall for the same person. Is there a girl code? Is it first come, first kiss, or is it no one wins when besties become rivals? Because love changles are messy, and when your best friend is on the other side, it's not just a crush, it's a crossroads.

0:51 Jennifer: Yeah, so we had uh somebody write in and ask us to talk about this that both her and her best friend have caught feelings for the same person and what you kind of do in that. So just a little background. It started as a joke. They both thought he was cute. Um, one laughed, he's not my he's totally my type, and they thought they were just playing around. And then soon enough she started texting him, and he started texting me, and they found myself checking his stories, wondering if if she had seen them too.

1:18 Jennifer: Suddenly I wasn't laughing anymore. We both said it out loud that something sh we never said it out loud, but something shifted. It was a weird thing between us. The tension was quiet but real, and now we're both pretending it's fine. Um, and we don't we both don't want the same, we both want the same thing, and it's gonna get weird. So the truth is I don't want to compete with my best friend, but I also don't want to step aside. So I'm afraid we're either gonna both end losing something, either the guy or each other, which 100% when you put a boy in between best friendships, I think for sure what happens when best friends don't like the same person and no one wants to lose could be a real dilemma in a friendship world because boys do boys eat anybody else really that you know they're interested and gets involved in the middle of it, certainly can make it a complicated process.

2:05 Jennifer: Jack, have you ever had any experience with Jackie and I do not like the same type of humans, so we don't boys we don't have that issue at all. Right, right. In fact, in high school, I don't think either one of us really cared if we had a boyfriend or not. We I had a boyfriend and you had a boyfriend right after high school for probably senior year and on, but wasn't that's never a thing for us. We never if we liked a boy, it was never the same boy. And I don't even know if we really I mean when you think about it.

2:33 Jackie: I mean, that's we're talking about high school. We're not talking about as we're older. I don't know how old the age is here. But um and we didn't have much of a pool to choose from. That's true. Like we lived in a yeah, a small mountain community with you know, our class was what, 200 and something people?

2:49 Jennifer: Yeah. So there's a there's a code up there that says that it's a shallow pool. So we did have to crisscross and people had to share boyfriends and girlfriends, and you just really couldn't hold that against anybody because it just wasn't enough people to go around for everybody.

3:03 Jackie: So but exactly you and I think the change is when you get to an older age, yeah.

3:08 Jennifer: When you get an older age, maybe like because you really yeah, go ahead. But you really could be it's hard because there is a bigger pool when you get out of high school, right? I mean, I get it. When you're in a small community like we were, it's hard. And you move off. Yeah. And then when you and even now, I mean, good lord, can you imagine now with the amount of people out there and the way you can communicate with them now with social media and all these apps they have for all these dating things, like right?

3:38 Jackie: Because if you do have the same personality with your friend and you're on the same app, you could end up going out the same person or chatting with the same person.

3:45 Jennifer: I know, yeah. And you may not discuss every person you go out with and be like, I'm gonna go to coffee with this guy. And I mean, maybe best friends would. I suppose we probably would have said that to each other, but you could end up with the same dude, I guess. I mean, it's a possibility for sure, even more now. I mean, before we would after we left high school, we went to bars, right? That was where you met potential humans. Or clubs bars. Club's bars, but or work, work, right? Or somebody knew somebody and said, Oh, I think that guy'd be cute.

4:13 Jennifer: Good for you, or whatever. I mean, that's how I met my first husband.

4:16 Jackie: Now it's like you don't have to go out with somebody you work with. That's like a rule now.

4:19 Jennifer: So retinization. You can't retinize with your makes sense. It makes sense.

4:25 Jackie: Well, at least back when we were younger, you could, because we did. I did. I know you did.

4:29 Jennifer: Yeah.

4:30 Jackie: But these days, like uh, you know, I have a niece and where she works, she's dating her boss, but they can't tell anybody. It's gotta be hush hush.

4:41 Jennifer: Well, that is complicated, and that is a that is a bad situation because that's he's in charge of her.

4:48 Jackie: And she could be. You know, she went home and was visiting, yeah, she was visiting with my brother and sister-in-law. And I said, guy, that was funny. Like, there's a lot of pictures of my niece that are, you know, just with her girlfriends or with you guys, but I thought her boyfriend was coming. Oh, he did. Okay, well, how come there's no pictures? Like, is he married or like what's going on? Oh, geez. And my brother's like, no, it's her boss, and they could get into trouble. Nope, they keep it on the download.

5:14 Jackie: I'm like, well, that'll be interesting. And if it comes back out or it comes out, then what do you do? Because they almost got caught at the grocery store, my brother was telling me together.

5:23 Jennifer: Oh gosh.

5:23 Jackie: So they kind of played it off.

5:26 Jennifer: Yeah. I could see that. You're not supposed to date somebody that's your superior, yeah, especially at work, because it gets very complicated if that goes awry. And you know who's good, you know who's really on the line for that? The boss. He's the one that's on the he's the one that's really the one that could damage his career because she could look like.

5:43 Jackie: Yeah, but you know how girls are so catty too. So if there's other females, I mean, luckily she works in a place where it's mainly males, we know that. Yeah. But just like the other females updating the boss, trying to move up. I could just see it. I guess men do that too. It's not just women, but women are really bad.

5:59 Jennifer: Men get shaded for being to taking advantage of somebody because they're superior to them. And the women always get blamed for being whores because they're sleeping with their boss. That's welcome to America. That's how that works there. So, anyways, but in this instance, you know, uh, I think that, you know, if two people I can think of one group of friends, like one couple of friends that I have that this happened to them. They used to go to the same bar and they used to go country western dancing, and they both ended up catching feelings for the same guy.

6:31 Jennifer: And it ended up, I think, destroying their relationship, to be honest with you. They're not friends to this day. And it may stem from other things that happened in that, but it's still that was the main culprit for ending this friendship that one felt like the other one stole this guy from her, and it just never and the the other girl ended up marrying him and quite happy.

6:54 Jackie: But uh I know who you're talking about now. Yeah, so it's that it was too, and she still has bad feelings. She still would talk about it. The one that she swore that that she took him, and when you talk to the the the man that was in the instance was in the situation, he was like, No, that is not how it happened. Right very different than what the one that's angry was thinking in her head. Yeah. Right.

7:22 Jennifer: He was probably just trying to try to be nice to them both because they were friends of her best friends. So yeah, just like that.

7:28 Jackie: Think of things like when we would go out with guys, like, you know, like uh let me think of like remember the fireman? Remember how nice he was to you and all that? Like he was totally, but he's like, okay, that's her best friend. I have to be, I didn't think anything of it. And of course, I never worried about you getting feelings for the same person, but you know what I mean? Yeah. But all my friends, all of them except for one, pretty much always try to be super nice to you. Also, that's right.

7:53 Jennifer: Because they knew because I was like a main source of yeah, except the one I don't like.

7:57 Jackie: Yeah, exactly. When they never like so that what does that tell you?

8:02 Jennifer: Still don't like that one, anyways. Um, but yeah, I think that this could be a very sticky situation. I've seen it happen, not with us, but I've seen it happen with other people. Right. I personally, me, I I value my friendships. I think boys come and go, especially, you know, when you're not married, you're just dating. Like they're always just sort of coming and going. I don't I don't think I would ever put a boy in between. I don't think I would ever do that. I value my friendships of my girlfriends way more than I would for, you know, if you want the boy, have the boy.

8:38 Jennifer: There's more boys.

8:40 Jackie: Exactly. That's and I hope it doesn't get to that situation where you have to say that either. Yeah, oh well if you want him that bad, then I'll let him let him go. Hopefully, like if I don't know. Like, I think we would even know who the other person is. Yeah, you wouldn't get the feelings. You know what I mean? You stay away from those feelings.

8:56 Jennifer: But well, if one claimed it, let's just say, let's just say we go to a place and we find somebody and we're both like, ooh, that guy's cute. It wouldn't happen with us, I don't think, but let's just say it. And then you said to me at that point, you're like, before I say anything, I just think it go, oh my god, he's so cute. I like him. Or something like that. Immediately, immediately for me, I'd be like, You just claimed him, I'm out. Exactly. How would that happen for you if I was the first one to say, ooh, I like him and I think he's cute.

9:24 Jennifer: I'm gonna see what like wouldn't you think the same thing, you'd just be like, Yep, yep, and doubt. Definitely. I just think there's too many boys. There's too many boys, there's too many relationships, doesn't have to necessarily be with a boy, but there's just too many relationships to make that a deal.

9:42 Jackie: Right.

9:43 Jennifer: I think best friends come along and you vibe with somebody and you're very in tune with them and you're paired well, and all those things, and those are that's a pretty special relationship, and it should be treated like that. Like you're not gonna find another best friend, like it just doesn't happen that much. You can be friends with a lot of people, we all friends with a lot of people, but I mean like the real connection of like a best friend is pretty rare. So you know, to put one over a boyfriend that I think you can I mean, I don't know.

10:16 Jennifer: Most people follow me.

10:17 Jackie: I guess I have I was accused. I was accused you were of yeah, I forget about I forgot about that. Oh gosh, you know, certain things you would have put in the back of your mind. Sure. Because then your mind that's not the way it happened, but if you think that's how it happened, but actually my husband now current husband. Um well I had a friend and I and she was they weren't dating, like he never even said they were dating. Right. And so I hung out with them a few times together, and she wasn't a good friend.

10:48 Jackie: So let's get that straight too. It was just it was called um acquaintance, accommodating a kind of friend because I had divorced and so I was single, and so going out with your married couples all the time does not work out. You end up finding single people. So I had gone out with her a few times and he had been there, and that was it. And we would text too because she'd be at my house. So if he couldn't get hold, he would text me or he'd just text and ask me how I was doing, which okay. I don't maybe I shouldn't have done that.

11:16 Jackie: But now that I look back, oops, sorry. But anywho, he kept saying he always said they weren't he had other, he was like dating other people. He wasn't just dating one person because he had gone through a divorce and stuff. Right. And she was she wasn't as new in a divorce, she'd been divorced for a while. So, anyways, they had he had broken off with her and pretty much said like nothing was going on, and then like a couple months later, he asked me out. And so I went I went on a date with him, and then we that was it.

11:47 Jennifer: Okay, but let's go through that for a minute because I want to just I want to clarify this because there's a difference between a boy and a friend that you have and the boy and your best friend. Like, I think the boy and the best friend are gonna be your best friend is like high level and your husband's high level, right? These are two high-level people in your life, and then there's the stacking below that. There's like your friends, your acquaintances, people you kind of know, and then you have a husband, your boyfriend, whatever.

12:11 Jennifer: So, like you're not in like you weren't in like a position of like this relationship that you had with this girl was going to affect this relationship.

12:20 Jackie: No, because I had even broken off because she had done a few things that kind of made me a little sketchy on her.

12:24 Jennifer: Yeah.

12:25 Jackie: And so I had broken off that friendship. But then he would still text me every once in a while. But he was they weren't even doing anything with each other anymore, supposedly. They weren't dating. No, no, yeah. But then as soon as she found out, as soon as it kind of got out there that we were dating, um, I got some really mean texts where I had to block her because she was like, I knew you liked him, I knew you were blah, blah, blah, all this. And I'm like, girl, this has not even happened for two months after you guys were like not even going on dates anymore.

12:51 Jackie: Right. So don't go there.

12:52 Jennifer: And this is back on that mountain where the vault pool is shallow, just uh FYI. But she wasn't your best friend up there. Yeah.

12:59 Jackie: No, she wasn't. And I had already brought and obviously, because the things that she pulled with me were like, yeah, I'm not gonna say what they were, but it was like, you know, just things you don't do. Right. Kind of kind of things. So yeah.

13:11 Jennifer: So you went out, you guys, whatever, you guys are married quite happily for many years now. So clearly that was a thing. But I yeah, I think though they, you know, there is a little bit of a fine line on the best friend part of it. I think that, you know, we all come across that where you could have a like somebody that somebody else you know likes them or something, and that gets a little weird, and you'll have to sort that out. But in the space of a best friend, like best friend, that's a no-go.

13:37 Jennifer: Like, you gotta just back down. I think that would be my advice to anybody in this situation. Back down and let that be. Let that boy filtrate through the system, and he probably will end up being gone anyways. I mean, you know, it's not every m time you go out with somebody you end up with marrying this person in there forever. But if you have a best friend and that best friend likes somebody, and you like that somebody too, and they tell told you first they liked him or claimed him first, then I think that's your cue to back down.

14:09 Jennifer: It's not worth the best friendship, I don't think. No, no, you're not gonna get you're not gonna find a you can find friends all day long, you can have acquaintances, you can have people that you generally like to spend time with, but to be in a best friend position where somebody knows you that well and is that close to you, it's it's one of those things you just have to. If I had to give advice, I would say back down. Right. You're not gonna win this, neither one of you are gonna win this, and if you know, you'll go on and there'll be other people.

14:38 Jennifer: So, you know, move on. You know, and I think that's you know, you that's respecting your best friend, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices for that. Yeah, definitely you can't just worry about thy own self. And if you you know if they what is this? What if she goes out with them for a while and she's like, eh, I don't think so. I don't like him very much. Like, he's not my guy. What is the what is the cue there? Is that like is this door open again or is this still a closed door?

15:10 Jackie: I feel that's a closed door because now if you start hanging out with this guy and this is your best friend, and they've had, you know, sex and everything else, they've had that little bond where do you really want to be hanging out with your best friend when you know she's been sleeping with him too? No. Because then you're yeah, right exactly. So it's kind of like I think that's off limits then. Like, because then you're gonna have to hang out with him without her. And then you're so you're giving up your your best friendship to go be with this guy.

15:38 Jackie: And a guy's not worth it. No, just not worth it. For not worth it.

15:43 Jennifer: Yeah, I think you're right. I think it couldn't really even wait till they maybe if they went to coffee, didn't like each other, time went on, maybe something, but maybe something small like that.

15:52 Jackie: Yeah, but if they have flirting with each other, they probably figured out like it's uh, you know, from what I was getting, they kind of were both talking to him on uh their social media again, causing problems. Yeah.

16:04 Jennifer: It does, 100%.

16:06 Jackie: And then it started getting to, you know, where one was joking around, but one was jealous.

16:10 Jennifer: Mm-hmm.

16:11 Jackie: So and you can tell. I could if I'm around a best friend and I I feel like I would know if one of you were getting jealous, if there was a guy there and then we were both interested. I could tell by the way you're talking or acting if that's you know. So at that point, it's like I need to back down. There's something else going on here.

16:28 Jennifer: Right. That's that best friend intuition. Like intuition, exactly. Like him? I could tell you like him. You know, you would know before there is a word said to it, because I think there's an intuition there that you just know. Yeah, I I think that you have to preserve the friendship over the whatever relationship could be coming down the pipeline. Because, like I said, I have these friends that they're still not friends over this, and you've said that the husband himself has said that that was misguided.

16:54 Jennifer: That's the other thing, too. Like, just be careful, y'all. The girls will get in the middle of your friendships or your relationships, and they can be detrimental, but guys can too. And if there's a guy that is available to two people at the same time or giving vibes to two people at the same time, y'all gotta be careful with that too, because it's yeah, it's a little doing that with someone else too, with other people. Yeah, like rather than than fighting about this guy over each other, like maybe stop and take a step back, be like, wait a minute, is this guy like chronic with this?

17:23 Jennifer: Like, is this something he does on the constant and this is like his thing? He just needs attention. I mean, shit, that happens all the time.

17:31 Jackie: And those guys just wants to be. Those are not the ones that are gonna commit to just you. No, they want lots of attention.

17:38 Jennifer: I I would say that if I had a daughter and you and I don't have daughters, we have daughters, but not daughter-in-laws, but and you have stepdaughters, but anyways, but if I was gonna give advice to um my daughter be like, look, the guy is like if a guy that likes you really likes you, he only has eyes for you. There is no debating in the beginning if he does or doesn't like you. He you'll know, like those are the ones that you want to spend your time interested in. And if you have a best friend and this guy's could playing the line between the two of you to figure out which one of you might be more interested in him and he likes the attention from both of you, that ain't it.

18:16 Jennifer: That's like a waste of your time in general to begin with. Like, move on to somebody else. Like, that is not a person that's good for anybody. He's just no, anybody who needs that much attention is not a good person to be involved with, period. And that's I agree. That's pretty that's pretty common. So just be thankful that you know, if you have a good best friend that will back down and let you figure that out if you need to figure it out, and then moves on and says, Yeah, I told you that guy was probably not gonna be good for us.

18:45 Jennifer: So you can't hold it against him either if you let it.

18:47 Jackie: If you step down and you let your friend have them, you gotta like hopefully you're not yeah, and hopefully you're not competitive and best friends and no one wants to lose, because then what happens? Oh, that's good. Then you lose your friendship. Because we're all very competitive, but not in that way. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. My kids joke about how competitive I am, but Really? Uh oh, yeah. Mobly games, they're just like, oh, what's mom gonna start calling us as soon as she starts losing?

19:16 Jackie: It's always bitches, you're all after me. Well, that's how you can ask without me saying a word. I know. It's just like, I know, and Michelle or me and Rick uh beat Rick and I beat uh Michelle and Pete at Cornhole when we're uh gosh, last camping. So we're gonna I'm sure they're gonna want to rematch next weekend when we go camping again.

19:36 Jennifer: Michelle's the funniest. Michelle makes a competition. Michelle is super competitive. She's super chill. This is the one we always talk about, super chill, just chill shell. But she's super competitive. I swear, when we were roommates, she joined Weight Watchers for a little while. She was trying to lose weight or whatever, man. It was a competition. They just did their weigh-ins and Michelle was like, like, I'm gonna win. Like, sh, I'm like, it's Weight Watchers, for God's sakes, Michelle. Like, let it go.

20:04 Jennifer: Nobody, nobody wins.

20:06 Jackie: I'm telling you.

20:07 Jennifer: She had to win that competition. Like, she had to lose the most weight every week. Like it was a thing for her. So could be her though. I know. So that I don't think I've never seen, I don't think we've ever been, I've never seen Michelle compete. Like, I just don't see I just it's not boys. Like, there's there's certain things to compete with, but it boys ain't one of them.

20:28 Jackie: So she is also another one that it's a it's a whole nother. I don't think any of us have husbands that are the same. Yeah, it's like they're all different. They're all different, you know what I mean? Totally. It's so interesting. I've never thought about that till this discussion. And they're all good in their ways, you know what I mean? Like, there's no let's decide. We're very blessed, I guess I'm gonna say.

20:49 Jennifer: We are sure. Uh, you know, we also grew up in the 20s. We were also teenagers and uh 20-year-olds together, and we still didn't have this problem. So Yeah, true. Again, I think there's too many boys in the world, and I think if you have a best friend, you better better pull back on that one and just let that go because it's just not worth it's not worth winning. It's not what do you win? If you won, let's say you won and the guy liked you better and you ended up with him and you don't have a best friend anymore.

21:15 Jennifer: What did you win? You won the best friend.

21:17 Jackie: And then you then you broke you and the boy break up. Yeah. Oh, now you got to be able to do that.

21:20 Jennifer: Then you're really at a loss. Yeah. You picked one and none of none of them are. So I think it's just, you know, it's a best friend thing, and it's a code, and there is a girl code there, and the girl code is back down. That's my opinion of it. And keep the best friend and move on. So anyways, let's go to the bad bestie rapid questions, Jeff. Who's more likely to flirt flirt without realizing it? You.

21:45 Jackie: Yeah. Okay, yes, we've had this conversation recently.

21:51 Jennifer: It's just because you're nicer than me.

21:53 Jackie: I'm like, what do you want says the same thing? And my husband says it and he said he's like, No, I'm not jealous. Like it's just you're just so friendly that sometimes people take it wrong. Yeah, I think that's true. Like, remember like the messenger I was getting. I even I forgot to tell the other girls about it, but I need to tell them. Anyways, and I was getting that message back and forth from somebody from high school, and I'm like laughing and reading it to my husband, and he's like, He's flirting with you.

22:21 Jackie: Like, no, he's not, he's married. Like, I'm thinking I'm married. You read the Texas. I'm just going at your all Jackie, you're naive. Like, remember when we're in Vegas? So yes, that's a good thing.

22:32 Jennifer: He's definitely barking around a tree a little more than normal people would.

22:35 Jackie: Like, it's not a normal to help defend myself on it. I grew up with all boys, cousins and brothers. And brothers, yeah. So you remember, I had a lot of guys that I had friendships with. Yeah. Really good, like girls. Yeah. They were where people thought things were happening with us. I got accused by one girlfriend that she thought something was happening to with us. And it nothing ever did. Right. But it was just the way I am and friendly and I guess touchy. Like I'll touch your arm. I guess that's a a thing that you shouldn't do.

23:06 Jackie: Just touch people, Jack. I used to butch. I used to hit people like hard and do it when I'm laughing, you know, when you're joking around. They're like, so then I stopped it. So then I stopped it to where I put my hand and I'm laughing with them. And I'm like, okay, now they're saying that that's like a flirty. And I'm like, all right. See, I can't do nothing. Just Jackie, put your hands in your pockets and don't do anything.

23:26 Jennifer: Well, I think you're just a natural like person that is just friendly. So you can tell that I mean, especially at our age, if some guy has not been talked to very nicely for the last 20 years from his wife, maybe like so he's like, and then Jackie comes in.

23:43 Jennifeer: He's like, how are you? Oh my god, so good to see you. Touching your shoulder, hugging you. Yeah. He's like, my god, somebody likes me again.

23:51 Jackie: So I'm very lucky that my husband's very secure. Yes. Totally. It wouldn't go anywhere.

23:57 Jennifer: Yeah. I don't from a friendship thing in our friendship. Who's flirt who's more likely to flirt? We have another one that's pretty flirty too, that probably get nailed for this one too. But as far as me, no, you're not gonna get it out of me. I'm pretty like closed off anyhow.

24:11 Jackie: Yeah, there's two of us. There's two of us, yeah.

24:13 Jennifer: There's two of you, yeah.

24:15 Jackie: Okay. I don't realize I'm doing it. Or maybe she doesn't either. She probably doesn't either.

24:19 Jennifer: It's just the way we're just her way, it's just a natural way of being. Like it's just their personality, it's your personalities, really.

24:24 Jackie: That it is it's not no like we're not trying to do anything wrong. No, but it comes off.

24:32 Jennifer: I'm not accusing you. I'm just saying if it's between you and I. I would not do it. I promise I would. I'm saying if it's between you and I, it's you for sure. Because I'm like, We've said it. I'm a little more like, what? What? What do you want?

24:45 Jackie: You're sitting there looking at your phone while I'm sitting there talking to him and you're just like, what? Yeah. We gotta go now. We gotta get me a beer. I'm over this thing. Like, I'm over this situation. But then you get your beer and you're like, let's go.

25:03 Jennifer: Alright, who'd who'd back offers to protect the friendship? I think both of us would. I don't think. Yeah. I don't think it's one or the other. I don't think that either one of us would care that much about it.

25:14 Jackie: Who'd say screw it? We're both grown. Let the best woman win. Neither. Neither.

25:20 Jennifer: No way.

25:21 Jackie: No.

25:22 Jennifer: It's just it's not girl, it's not good girl code. I don't know.

25:25 Jackie: It's gonna be scary when we all get in because I don't I don't know if we've told this story, but all of our five best friends have said that when we all get older and all of our husbands die, because we just assume because women live longer, that we're gonna be alive. So we're gonna go to an old folks' home. Right. So it'll be interesting how we handle that when there's only a small pool of men now.

25:47 Jennifer: I think that we can't. I think we make a pact now that says when five husbands have passed away and the five of us are in a home alone where we're together in in our own rooms, running over to Bingo or whatever we're gonna do. It's free, it's free game there. Like we there's not a lot of pool there. So, like, best man win. Like, I think we establish that now so that we say nobody can be mad if one of us gets the one guy that lives there. The one that's still going. This is not a competition. This is like the end of the pool.

26:18 Jennifer: There is no more, so you know. So we're just assuming we're all the ones that are gonna get them in, too.

26:24 Jackie: Right. The other 500 women that live there don't have any either. They don't care no pool.

26:29 Jennifer: Now, if that was the case and was 500 against the five of us, and one of us was in the pool, we would all be very hypey women, be like, get him, get him, like we can do this, we can win, because it would feel like a win for us, and we would all get involved in that. So, anyways, who's more likely to get chosen and why you for sure. You're nicer than me. For sure. I'm like kiss off. I was gonna say kiss off, kiss my ass. I don't give a shit. Bye. Like, you are so much more reasonable to be with. Like, you're kinder, you cook, you do things, you're nice.

27:03 Jennifer: I'm like, leave me alone, like I'm out, period. So, from just a perception of niceness, Jaggie's winning on that one for sure.

27:10 Jackie: So, um and what's well thank you, I appreciate that.

27:14 Jennifer: Sure, and you can deal with that because I don't even want the responsibility of it, to be honest with you. It's not something that would even want. So, what's the unwritten girl code you live by in these situations? Back down for sure.

27:28 Jackie: Like yeah, back down. Um back off and just think of your friendship first, yeah. Yeah, like crushes maybe just get in your head and think about gosh, if this goes this way, I could lose my friend. Is it really worth it? You know? No, go back.

27:43 Jennifer: It's not. And as we're gotten older, you know, we're fifty-five now. Jackie and I will talk about that a lot, that we've had a lot of history of life between us at 55 looking back. If you were in your twenties and something went that way, like I know these friends that that had this happen or whatever, and looking back, like you know, they could have had that friendship for a long time had they not had a standoff on it, and all those years they missed, and that's too bad because they were really good friends for a long time and were really close, and they have missed many years of it for one guy, and the other one went on to get married, has a wonderful, beautiful life as well.

28:15 Jennifer: And this one's married to the guy that they got in a tip about, and they're happy. And all those years of that friendship that could have been, they could have still been friends and still hung out and still, you know, liked each other and been close to each other, all that got removed, and they've you know settled in different lives in different places, and they don't ever talk to each other, and they're never going to talk to each other. I don't think I don't think there's a place for them to heal that.

28:39 Jennifer: So it's not I don't think that's worth it. I think you know had one just backed.

28:44 Jackie: It's definitely going because if we were we were, I think w when the the one was talking about it when we were in Vegas, um I just kept looking at her, going, How many years has it been? You have like a whole fan a lovely family, and why are you still dwelling on this?

28:59 Jennifer: Yeah.

28:59 Jackie: So if that person's still dwelling, it's never gonna get better. And I think that's sad if you're 50 something years old or I don't know how were we in our 50s or 40s? Maybe we're in our forties, but yeah, in the middle of that trip.

29:11 Jennifer: Yeah.

29:11 Jackie: But it was just I'm just looking at her going, really? Like you haven't gotten over this? Yeah. Obviously you're not happy with what you have, so you weren't gonna be happy anyways.

29:20 Jennifer: I think she is, I think she's a happy person in her life, but I think that it just irritates her that she didn't win, or that I and it wouldn't even have been that it would have it would have even been a relationship that would have been long term. It's just you know, she feels slighted that she didn't get the opportunity to figure that out or not.

29:36 Jackie: So I would my bet on that one is I'm gonna say she didn't win, so she's still pissed. Yeah, it could be with that her personality.

29:44 Jennifer: Yeah, it could be because you know, let the shit go, man. That is not worth it. So, anyways, crushes fade, but friendships last. And so we always say protect your friendship, it's the most important. If this episode hit you in the fields or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

30:00 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die. And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com. Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

30:25 Song: We stick together ride or die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. The reuniting's like we never been apart, and every single time we're either iron heart a heart. There's not enough words to describe what you made a big To put it naps and downs and just like you stayed right next to me. I've got to make you laugh to cry. Look at everything under the definition of a bit. It's good to do it, but everybody hate we're writing a story. Everything will keep on going to the spike for your backyard.

32:18 Song: Trust us loyalty, you and me trust that says loyalty, you and me.