Best Friends Don't Show Up: Navigating Friendship Letdown

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer, and I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised, where best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind Testimony, a ceremony week created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:11 Jackie: This podcast is all about the that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh till you snort stuff. So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company. Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right, today we're her episode is she'll be here eventually when your bestie is always late and you're always waiting. She's your person, you love her to death, but she's always late, and you're always waiting. In this episode of Slightly Unsupervised, me and Jen are gonna dive into the friendship friction that happens when one bestie is chronically late and the other is always watching the clock.

0:46 Jackie: Is it rude? Is it dis disrespect? Or just a personality clash with deeper meaning? Because being late isn't about time, it's about how it makes you feel. Absolutely.

0:55 Jennifer: So we have a just a little um backstory on what um this girl sent in that you know, she says that her friend told her to meet her at 6 30, she strolls in at 7 22, she doesn't apologize, no text, just a breezy, hey girl, and the story about traffic or kids or some other thing that she's got going on that makes it, you know, okay that she was late. And she's uh this girl's already ordered a drink, had her appetizers, checked her time 14 times, and she was just mad at this point and was tired, is tired of always planning around this girl's chaos and tired of getting ready on time just to sit there alone or pretending it didn't bother her when it absolutely did, and it's she's not being a bad friend.

1:35 Jennifer: She's actually the best in so many ways, but her lateness and makes her feel like she doesn't matter to this friend, that her time isn't really all that valuable. So she's you know, she's mad and she's wondering is it too petty to care, or is it something you should part ways on if you have a best friend that's chronically late all the time and is unaware of it? So we we'll talk about that today. I'm not a late person, I don't think Jack's a late person. I think things happen, and sometimes we get sidetracked and we get off course, but there's never happens all the time.

2:13 Jennifer: Yeah, yeah. You have to and there is people that are chronically late. I I own a wedding chapel, and this is I'm not telling you, this is a true story. This happens a lot. I have a wedding chapel, and uh the people will book a wedding for let's say 12. And people will roll into the parking lot at 11:30, and I'm like, this wedding doesn't even start till 12. You'll need to go park somewhere else. We we don't have a parking lot for a bunch of people just to hang out our parking lot, and they're like, No, they said 11:30, and they'll show me a phone and I'll be like, look at it, and then I'll be like, Are you usually late?

2:46 Jennifer: And they're like, Yeah. And I'm like, well, that may be why they told you it was half an hour earlier just to make sure that you were there on time. I go, today you're on time, that's great, but now you're early, so you gotta go somewhere else and hang out.

3:01 Jackie: I don't think I do do that. We have a few people that um that friends and family that are always late, and so we always tell them about half an hour to an hour ahead of time so that they're there.

3:12 Jennifer: Yeah. And do they usually arrive? Does it work in your favor?

3:17 Jackie: Juan usually is still gonna be late.

3:19 Jennifer: Late to the one.

3:20 Jackie: Yep. But if they're ever on time, we are just like celebrating. Oh my goodness, they're here.

3:26 unknown: What? They're here.

3:29 Jennifer: That would drive me nut. Can't be late all the time. Makes me nutty. Like I run on schedule. And in California, yeah, the traffic.

3:37 Jackie: We still we we always like because traffic's bad, so we'll even leave earlier just to get there earlier and just find something to do because we don't my husband is really about punctuality. He is very much about that. So we will leave, you know, an hour earlier if he's afraid that we're gonna hit traffic. Right. And we just have to find something to do for that time if we get there early. But we get there on time. Nuts right, you know.

3:58 Jennifer: You know who else is that way is Michelle's husband. Pete boy, that doesn't boy does not like to be late to anything. Like he is, he is woof, gotta be there on time or early. So I'm sure Michelle's picked up on that too. Not that Michelle was ever late, but I'm just saying, like, some people it's like chronic. And some people are like, okay, I'll try my best. And some people are like, I don't really care when I get there. I'll get there when I get there.

4:21 Jackie: And and I always taught my children growing up that being late is you're showing the other people that your time isn't important, that their time is more important than yours. Right. And that was always my saying. Because I yeah, my oldest son would be late quite right at the teenage years and a little bit after, like, we that's another one that we kind of tell a little head ahead of time, like to come sooner. And we also make sure we tell him he'll know that something's gonna happen in an event that weekend, but we'll remind him every day till it gets to that day.

4:50 Jennifer: Right. Because you're basically the age, yeah. He's at that age where you got to do that.

4:54 Jackie: Yeah. It's all about him. He's got a serious girlfriend, but it's all when he's off, he's just thinking about what he wants to do. Well, yeah, I was supposed to go to that. Yes, you were. Yeah.

5:03 Jennifer: You're like every morning, you're like, don't forget tomorrow, countdown five days. I'll text you tomorrow.

5:11 Jennifer: One of these days I would have to. But that's that's like leaning in when you're a parent, you lean into how each personality is different, right? Some kids are like friendship. Yeah, they're like up. Like, I don't know how many parents have to go through this, but I mean, certainly it's that's chronic is like you always have these kids in high school or junior high where they don't want to get up and you're like dragging them out or beating them with a pillow, like, get up, it's time to go. We have got to go to school, and like they don't want to do it or whatever, they just don't care or they're tired or whatever their thing is.

5:41 Jennifer: And then you send them to college, like for me, my son, my oldest son, like I'm crossing my fingers praying he gets up to go to school. And I'm like, Did you go to school today?

5:49 Jackie: He's like funny when you're not there anymore and they've they work it out, right?

5:54 Jennifer: They have to because they've now get their consequences are now their own. They're not something I can control anymore. But yes, but being late is either you either are I think an on-time person or you're, you know, you could be a late person. But the lateness, I think, is is a friendship issue, especially if you've got one that's on the time all the time, because they spend a lot of time waiting. And the waiting part of it is a lot of time for just like look back. Yeah, like what you've done this 10 times Yeah, like why am I respecting your time, but you're not respecting my time, like and and you know, I would probably be as as petty as to then have them come to something and then sh I I always say like the reflection of something of how you feel is always a good way to show somebody, like, okay, I will you want me to be there for something you're doing, maybe.

6:49 Jennifer: And I would probably the last time you were 45, 50 minutes late, I'd probably do the same thing. Be like, see, that's how it feels. Like I would probably do that because not because I'm being petty, but because I think that people should have a moment to see how it feels to be on the other side of that thing. And it's not like uh anything that's really gonna hurt anybody, it's more like this is how that feels all the time. You want me here for your thing, and I'm your friend, and I have asked you many times to do it for me, and I never get the respect.

7:18 Jennifer: So it would almost make me not be like, I don't really need to be there on time. Like this person could see how this feels when I don't show up either, or I just roll in when I feel like it because I'm doing whatever. There's a lot of time management problems that people have. It happens at work all the time. I'm, you know, man a manager of people, so I get it. Like there's people that are really good at task orienting, and some people just can't figure out what to do at any time, so they don't do anything.

7:44 Jennifer: But you have to learn it. Like it's an adult to organizing.

7:47 Jackie: Like when we had children, if you had to be something at a certain time and you know those kids are gonna hold you back, you're getting up an hour earlier so you can get that certain things done, so that you just get them up and get it going and get in the car and get out.

7:58 Jennifer: Right.

7:59 Jackie: Same kind of stuff. I mean, it's all about organization too. Yeah, definitely.

8:03 Jennifer: It's just and it's a respect, like you know. Yeah. And uh and and this one, this lady had written in that she said that there's no call. There's just a 45 minute, 52-minute actually draw between the two, and there's not like a hey, I'm running late, hey, just shows up and been like uh that's funny.

8:23 Jackie: So this is what we do for all of the people we know that are always late. We always say, Text us when you leave. Text us when you leave. So it kind of gives us time. It's like, have they texted you? Nope. Okay, so they haven't even left yet. All right, so now we have this much time.

8:36 Jennifer: Right. Like, you haven't even left the house yet. So we've still got an hour.

8:40 Jackie: We've already a handful of people I do that to just because I just don't know if they're gonna show up on time.

8:46 Jennifer: Well, for you too, it's a little weird. It's a little different because I don't cook, so I don't really care. But for you, if you're planning a meal and you have all these people coming over. I'm always doing. Yeah, like it's a real impair, like you've gotta plan your time management to get that cooked and ready so that when people come, and because some people could arrive, right? And some people cannot arrive. And where do you draw the line? Like, we all have to wait for these people to always be late, and then all these people are mad because this person's always late, or these people are always late and they're always waiting.

9:16 Jennifer: And you know, well, yeah.

9:17 Jackie: And and you know, mine's always a to-do. So we've got appetizer time, then we're gonna put dinner in at this time, my dinner's gonna be served at this time, dessert's gonna be at that time, everything's all done. But then when one throws it off, it's like, oh yeah, it's frustrating.

9:30 Jennifer: I think that that would be rougher to do.

9:32 Jackie: Like, yeah, because you you're I just I don't I don't cook, so it's not like a you know Okay, so what if do you have anybody who's always late for your reservations that you make? You're having to wait at the table. There you go.

9:45 Jennifer: Um, yeah. So that would be another thing. Like at some point I am I am a I am a mother of consequences. I mothers consequences, like if this is how you want to do it, let me show you how that feels. Like I just said it to you, I would be that way because that's how I would teach my children. But if you were one of my children, let's just say my kids or something, and I was at a reservation and my kids don't show up, I just go on, move along, eat. You come when you come, like eat what you want, but we've already eaten our meal.

10:11 Jennifer: Like I would do that if it was somebody chronic, it was just like one or two times and it happened, it would not be that way.

10:16 Jackie: But I'm just saying, like And you're gonna you're gonna be making excuses for them because they're not used to you're not used to them being late. So maybe they're in traffic or something happened. Yeah, exactly.

10:24 Jennifer: Yeah, and I would definitely be on the phone, like, where are you? We're here. It's you know, you're ten minutes late, nothing, you know. And I would be on my kids about it because I'm like a stricter mom in that regard. Like, this is how it feels when you do this shit, so don't do it, you know. That's how I learned.

10:38 Jackie: Jen tries to make me that way when I call her a vet, but of course Jackie doesn't do that. Jackie just like like caters right back again. I know. I'm like, bitch, tough it up now. Now it's time. You gotta just make a state.

10:55 Jennifer: I'm not about, but I will say that that I have been a and I've told you this, I've been a manager for people for a very long time. So in a work environment, there are no excuses. You're late, it's a problem. That is just a problem. You're not getting out of it because, you know, once in a while, catastrophic things happen. Everybody understands. But if you're a constant late person, you have a hard time keeping a job, you have a hard time staying on task. That's a problem you have to solve. And it's not a problem that being nice to you will help you solve.

11:23 Jennifer: So I would be more inclined to be rougher with you so that you get the point. Like this is your job, we're talking about it. May not matter, I don't really care, but I'm not doing my job as a manager if I just try to make excuses for you every time and then say that's okay. Like, you know, at some point it just it's the end of your job. Like, get your shit together and get together here because this is this is the consequences if you don't do so. That may be why I'm a little rougher with people, because I have managed people for so many years and I just don't have a tolerance for it.

11:53 Jennifer: But, you know, my little chapel, we have weddings, right? People make a wedding, and I'm like, you can't be late. This is not a roll in when you feel like it. I've had people before that say when they roll in, they're like, hey, we were 20 minutes late. So do we get to start our time now? And it's like, no, you just lost 20 minutes of your ceremony. I don't know what to tell you. It's a time management.

12:13 Jackie: And I help Jen with her weddings when she goes on vacations and stuff. I take her reservations and then I deal with her um employees. And that's one thing that um they call me and I want to say, Yeah, it's okay. I'm sorry. Someone had a bad morning. And I just in the back of my head, I see Jen going, no, it's not. You had a set time. And so I have to tell myself, okay, just talk like Jen. Nope, that's not gonna work. We have a wedding after you, we have a wedding before you. We do about it.

12:37 Jennifer: Right. Where do I draw the line on whose wedding do I screw up after you? No.

12:42 Jackie: So how come I can't do that with my friends, Jen? I can do that work with the friends.

12:48 Jennifer: I don't know. I don't have a problem with it. Like, it's unexcusable. I'm not screwing up the next person's wedding because you're late. That's right. It's it's you picked the package, you picked the time. You told me those are the times you would be here. You pick the time out. That is the time I set aside. If you're not here, I am so sorry. We have to move on. Or you have a shorter amount of time. There's sometimes I'll drag people in and I've got two minutes with them. I'm like, I'm gonna marry you and you gotta get out of here.

13:13 Jennifer: This is it. Like, this is the fastest wedding you've ever been. I finish it because you're whatever time you had has only got two minutes left. I'll finish it, but off you go. Like, you're gonna have to move on. That's a respect for my business, but that's a respect for everybody behind me because they're all on time and they're ready to do their wedding and they deserve my attention. So it's you know, respect again. Yeah. So I think from a friendship standpoint, for sure, the chronic ones, it's gotta be hard to be with a best friend that's always late, though.

13:41 Jackie: I don't I know we're lucky because our our group, we're all good. The only time we've ever had, I think we had to wait one time because of the airplane being late, but that wasn't the girls' fault.

13:51 Jennifer: Yeah. Well, there was this time like Christmas. Remember when the the car that I was rented had a flat tire and I couldn't. I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna make it. Gotta wait for the tire placed open. California, you guys are backed up with everything. You can't just go get your tire fixed. I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna make it, guys. And you're like, nope, you're coming. And then Jen, Jen might get to come pick me up, and my mom had to drive me halfway. So we get it done. You know, there are certain things that happen.

14:17 Jennifer: It's not unexcusable.

14:18 Jackie: That's an yeah, that's a very good excusable excuse. It's not you know you know, you wouldn't come out to California and do that on purpose.

14:25 Jennifer: No, I'm not traveling all this way and then skipping out on my friends, and we did get it done, and people work together, and and there's a lot of that, but that's that's because I'm not a person that's normally late. This is not a normal stance for me. Because sometimes, and I know you know this, the people that use this, I can't come last minute, they just don't want to, or they're typically flaky, and those people drive me nuts too, because it's like I have planned my day, I've taken the time apart of my busy schedule to give you my time, to be with you, to hang out with you.

14:54 Jennifer: And then last minute, you're just like, ah, it's not a good day. I'm not, you know, I don't feel like getting dressed or whatever. That drives me nuts too. That's just so to me, that's so disrespectful. Like, respect people's time, man. That drives me nuts. You cannot, you cannot have a good friendship if you're always the one. But it happens, and lateness is, you know, the message it sends is that you're pretty much being dismissed or you're not a priority, or you're, you know, you don't really matter.

15:20 Jennifer: That's the message it sends. That's how I feel when if I had a chronic person that was that way, it'd be like, my time doesn't matter. I don't matter to you as much as you matter to me. I mean, what would your feelings be if you had a friend that was always late?

15:31 Jackie: Wouldn't you feel? Oh, yeah. And I'd probably start backing off even making plans. Do it. That's the way I do it. Yeah. I mean, my best friend, I'd probably talk to you about it eventually. I'd be so frustrated because I'd probably be giving you silent treatment every time we met up and you were late. Right.

15:47 unknown: Yeah.

15:48 Jackie: That it's like, okay, break the silence and tell them what's bugging you. They know what it is, but say it out loud. Because I think sometimes if we don't say it out loud, they're like, okay, it's all right because we didn't even discuss it. Right.

15:57 Jennifer: You know what I mean?

15:58 Jackie: Right.

15:58 Jennifer: You put it under you swept it on. You can only sweep so many things under the rug before the rug has a bulge in it and they can see it. It's like it's all under there. You've got to get it out and, you know, get rid of it. But yeah, I think that, you know. Or you just maybe you have come up with boundaries. I mean, I think that's a really wise decision. If you are a chronic, let's just put us in a chronic late. I'm always on time. You're always late. I like that scenario better than the other way.

16:23 Jennifer: So at that point, you could be like, Look, you're always late. This is how I would do it, because I'm more direct. So Jack's more nice, I'm more direct. I would say, look, you're always late. So I we're gonna move on. We're gonna have our day the way it is. If you are invited to this, you'll just have to figure it out find us. If you are gonna be late, you're just gonna have to figure out where we're at and join up then. Like, we're not. I would definitely have a hard fast rule that I'm not waiting for you to show up to finish my day.

16:52 Jennifer: Like, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna go about my life. Like, if you show up, you show up. But I would probably give you the half hour earlier rule, too, depending on how long you took.

17:02 Jackie: Just so that it reminds me so much of the episode. Um, I don't know if you've seen the the recent Orange County Housewives, but Shannon Shannon Bador is always late. Oh, is she? And they were just on a trip, I think it was New Orleans or something like that. And they're all they're all in the vans, they're all going to do this like ride on the boat where the alligators are, and then finally someone just goes off. You're always late. I was like, ooh. Sometimes I I could see myself blowing up like that.

17:28 Jackie: Like if I you know what I mean? And yeah, if you mix alcohol into the situation, of course it I probably wouldn't blow up, and they all do. Yeah. Well, yeah, she's just had that.

17:38 Jennifer: I forgot about that episode now that we're talking about this, but well, they're in a different situation too because they're getting paid to film and they're all filming, and they're sitting there waiting, waiting, and waiting, and she's getting dressed or doing whatever Shannon Madore does, but you know, she's not respecting even the schedule for the filming. Like the film guys are pissed because those guys have you're hearing the girls talk. Imagine what the film crew is saying, because a film crew is standing there with a camera.

18:03 Jennifer: Oh, and you know the guy's got his hand up with a camera and he's filming, and you know, at two hours he's like, I can't even hold my arm up anymore because I need to rest, or they need, you know, breaks in between. So, you know, that's just a disrespect. That's a job. Shannon Bador has a job there, and Shannon Bador is not even not even respecting her job. She's basically telling everybody, I am that's when you get that status of like being a princess, and then everybody else is, you know, just caters to her and then nobody likes her.

18:34 Jennifer: And if Shannon Bador ends up, nobody likes you, then you need to turn around and watch your film back and see why you were not liked because you're not behaving in a way that is a group effort. You're you're basically just taking care of yourself and screw everybody else. So, you know, she'd be in the job category for me. Shan Bador would get chatting from me right away. So, but yeah, I think that, you know, late and you know, sometimes people have stuff you gotta be kind to, you gotta let people off the hook a little bit sometimes, but not as a pattern.

19:05 Jennifer: A pattern is a pattern, and you can take your road for it.

19:09 Jackie: But I would of course do it where I, you know, worry about their feelings and yeah, say it in a certain way. I probably wouldn't.

19:16 Jennifer: I'd be like, bitch, you're always late. This is ridiculous. Like, you need to figure your shit out and stop doing it, or I'm not inviting you anymore. Like I'd get right to the base of it, like, and then I would be like, oh my gosh, she's so me. I'm not me. I'm just don't have the time.

19:31 Jackie: Okay, so people, so when I go out there to help her work and stuff, I always make sure I'm done a half hour. She does. She's like, I like I'm like, okay, what time are we leaving tomorrow? Because I want to get a little walk in before and I want to make sure I can shower and be ready with because you're going out that door, and it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not.

19:48 Jennifer: Get in the car. And I'm like, I don't want to just rob her husband for a ride.

19:52 Jackie: I mean, no, I know he'd give it to me and he totally understands.

19:56 Jennifer: I know. And of course, I have all these things I have to do first before I go to work. I gotta run.

20:00 Jackie: Maybe that's what my thing is. Maybe that's another reason I'm always on time besides my husband, is because I'm so worried you've been this way to me forever that I'm afraid of gonna get the wrath. It's true, she does.

20:09 Jennifer: I'm like, we have to leave right out. I plan my life. Like, I plan my life that way. Can you imagine if I what if I ran a chapel run business and I was always late? Can you imagine how that would go? That would be you couldn't run a business.

20:22 Jackie: And Jen's gonna work in, she's gonna stop for her Starbucks, she's gotta go through the car wash and make it to her chapel. And sometimes I have to pick up cakes on the way for the chapel for a wedding that day. So that takes another 10 minutes.

20:32 Jennifer: Like and sometimes if things are really wild, I have to skip the car wash. And that's really where things gonna high haywire for me a lot. Car wash.

20:41 Jackie: If you stress it at the wedding, you're like, okay, they got a break between these two weddings. I can go back over in the car wash.

20:46 Jennifer: People are like, you wash your car every day. I'm like, yes, I do. I have no shame in my game. I wash that thing every day.

20:52 Jackie: So, anyways, but yes, gets her money out of her plan at the car wash, that's for sure.

20:58 Jennifer: Yes, it's the best thing ever. We didn't have it in California and we have it here in Tennessee, and it's like a drive-thru car wash. Man, my car shines because it gets washed every day. So, anyway, so I think everybody just has to, you know, kind of make their own disjudgments on that. But you gotta be honest about who you are too. Like you can't live in a world where you're inauthentic and you're upset all the time and you're holding it in. And that's what you'd probably do more, Jack, than I do, which is why, you know, you held on to more anxiety than I have because I'm more to in your face about it.

21:27 Jennifer: So, you know, you can only, but eventually, 100% guarantee I know you, I know you very well. Eventually, something will happen and you'll lose your shit. And then you won't say it all.

21:38 Jackie: I know. But I try. Breathe, breathe, take it in. And as as uh well, uh uh, what's her name? Um, the one that I listen to. She always says let them. Let them, yeah. But let them be late. No. I put these let in the l and um, I don't think that's what she means by it, but I I always try to put the let them in my head. Just let 'em. Let them let them do it.

22:00 Jennifer: No, I'm so pissed. I know. Yeah. I don't let them. So funny.

22:05 Jackie: No, don't let them. But honestly, if this is the worst thing, I mean, I don't know how many Chinese girls does it, obviously a lot, but I mean this is the worst thing that your best friend's doing. Just talk to her. Because I mean, start like start with a jackie chat.

22:18 Jennifer: Yeah. Start with a jack start with a Jackie chat. Like, hey, I noticed you're always late. Oh my gosh, are you okay? Is there anything wrong? Can I help you with something? Is something there that maybe I am like, as your best friend can help you with? Like, can I come clean your house? You can be on time. What if I come cook for you? I'll just come, I'll make all the meals and then we'll get out on time. Or you could be the gen approach. Bitch, you're always freaking late and I'm tired of waiting for your ass.

22:44 Jennifer: So either get here or don't get here. I'm not inviting you next time. And that's that. Love you. Bye. Yeah, because it works on me. I'm always on time. So, anyways, pick your medicine. There's the two ways to deal with it. We've given you both avenues of that. So Jackie lives in a lower anxiety than I do because I'm just, I've said it, I'm moving on. So, anyways. All right, Jackie, here's the bestie rapid questions. Who's more likely to still be in a towel when they're on their way? Neither one of us.

23:12 Jackie: When they're on the way, they mean they're in a towel, but they told you that they're on their way.

23:15 Jennifer: No. I don't think I'll be there.

23:17 Jackie: I don't think either of us. No. Neither of us. And I don't think anybody in our group, even our group group, no one's ever everybody seems to be on time always for everything we plan. Yeah. We don't have any problems.

23:27 Jennifer: I don't think it is hard and and their traffic is always an issue. You cannot hold people accountable for traffic. Traffic is always a problem in California in particular, that you guys have that problem there.

23:37 Jackie: So And the only one that no the only one in our group that I would say that um you just have to think about her time because she loves to sleep in is Jen. Yeah, Jen does. Because we make that joke. Like you don't call her do anything before 11. Yeah. Because she likes to sleep in. So if you want to plan something, do it where she can sleep in, then we can do it. And that's a we just know that. She likes she likes that.

23:59 Jennifer: Jen and I have opposite personalities. We have the same name. We're about a week apart in birthdays. So we're very we have the same like astrological sign. So Jen and I are similar. But Jen is like, she's up at noon and I'm in bed at like seven. Jen and I'm only got about a seven-hour window together. And the rest of the time, when I go to bed, she's wide awake. And when I'm awake, wide awake, she's in bed. Like, you know, we have this, we have about a seven hours of day that we can be together before one of us has to then go to the other's, you know, get to bed or get up.

24:28 Jennifer: So it works. You just go around it. It's like that's just Jen. Like, we're not gonna get something early in the morning, so we're good. All right. So what's the worst time someone left you waiting? It's not we're not even talking about our friend group. I'm just talking about in general, like somebody in general. Yeah.

24:43 Jackie: I would say I think what bugs me the worst is having to wait for someone on a holiday. I agree. Just because you're timing everything out for everyone, and it's usually a group, you know, a large group. Right. And so if everybody's not there when they're supposed to be, it's just you're waiting. Things now get knocked off, you're doing things later, because you know, if it's opening presents, you know, if it's Christmas, if it's you know, certain things, like even Thanksgiving, because you eat earlier because everybody wants to get home, you know.

25:11 Jackie: Right. Um so I think the holidays is probably the the worst for me of someone making me wait. That's the one that bugs me probably the most.

25:19 Jennifer: Yeah. I think so too. I don't I can't really think of the worst time someone left you waiting.

25:24 Jackie: Other than Yeah, I can't think of a bat, but I'm saying if if it was anything, it's just a holiday for me. That's when I'd all like to be left waiting.

25:29 Jennifer: Well, holidays in particular too, because you have so many kids that come from so many directions that you're trying to get them into one spot at one time to get them all organized to do one thing.

25:38 Jackie: Like family, like we're this year we're posting for Christmas. We always do Christmas Eve, and we're hosting oh my gosh, I think we counted, I think over 20 something people. Oh my gosh. So hopefully everybody's gonna be on time. Here's if they're not adult games. We're not doing adult games this year because I just said there's too many people to try to get the games going. Yeah, and that we have a lot of there'll be uh one, two, three, four, five, six grandbabies between the two of us, between my sister-in-law and us.

26:07 Jackie: So we'll have a lot of little little ones, so we'll just do, you know, little off the games because that's another thing you try to wait for other people to show up that are late. And if you try to do games, it's hard because someone wasn't there and we give nice prizes for our games.

26:20 Jennifer: Well, not only that is that the people that are late are late, and the people that are gonna actually leave at an early time because they have something else to do, they're still gonna leave. That affects them. Yeah, you miss the whole time in between. So Yeah. Okay, what's the oh that was the one time who's more likely to be say I'm outside that they're still looking for their keys? And I don't know, I don't think we lie.

26:37 Jackie: I don't think either. No, we don't lie about that. We just tell each other. Who would make you miss a flight because they needed a coffee first? You me. Because I don't drink coffee.

26:47 Jennifer: Right. And I gotta have my Starbucks. So I'm like, we'll just go through and then we'll get on the plane. And be like, yeah, and the coffee backed up and we have to wait. Yeah, it would probably be me. I agree.

26:58 Jackie: Then you're all I gotta use the restroom because I just had my coffee.

27:02 Jennifer: I can't get on the plane, I gotta go pee now. All right, what's your go-to move when you know your bestie's gonna be late again? I would account for the time. Be there a half an hour early, 45 minutes early.

27:13 Jackie: Exactly, and that's what I do now. Yeah. Whether it works, whatever.

27:18 Jennifer: I would tell you off at some point too, like just get your shit together and stop with it. Like, I wouldn't have a lot of patience for it, so I think at some point they would just be like it would resolve itself because either you would step up or I would step on like one or the other. Um because my time is valuable, I got a lot of shit to do. Anyways, um, if you're always early and she's always late, talk about it. Don't just resent it. Um, that's my my advice to you. Talk to somebody and let them know how you feel.

27:47 Jennifer: Jackie, what's your final word on this one? Give them grace.

27:50 SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

27:51 Jennifer: Give them some grace, but then have a conversation with them nicely.

27:54 Jackie: Yeah.

27:55 Jennifer: Offer to take everything on for them so that they can be on time. Yeah, that's more me, but I mean, if we want to be honest. All right. If this episode hit you in the feels or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

28:09 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die.

28:12 Jennifer: And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

28:16 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

28:33 Song: We stick together at or die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. Reuniting's like we never been apart, and every single time we're out of iron heart to heart.

29:00 Song: There's not enough words to describe what you made a make. Two heartaches and ups and downs and this life you stayed right next to me. I'll make you laugh till you cry.

29:23 Song: The definition of a bit strength. It's good.

29:34 Song: It's good.

29:42 Song: And we'll keep it to the battery.

29:49 Song: We'll write another story. Every day we'll keep on going to the spot, put your face a big day, right?

30:24 Song: Uh but make you laugh to play.

30:44 Song: It's good.

30:54 Song: Trust loyalty, you and me love trust. That says loyalty, you and me.