Motherhood and Best Friends | Navigating the Friendship Shift

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer.

0:01 Jackie: And I'm Jackie.

0:02 Jennifer: And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind Vestimony. A celebrate a ceremony we c the a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:13 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh to you snort stuff.

0:18 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

0:22 Jackie: Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right. Well, we've got another episode where we had uh someone um wanted us to discuss uh a situation. When life pulls you apart, the motherhood drift, you didn't fight, you didn't betray each other, you just stopped being close. In this episode, we're gonna unpack the quiet heartbreak of friendships that change when one friend becomes a mother and the other doesn't. From cancelled plans and unanswered texts to the unspoken walls that rise between diapers and freedom, we explore how to hold space for both realities and whether reconnection is still possible when life takes you in opposite directions.

0:57 Jackie: Because sometimes it's not a breakup, it's just a drift.

0:59 Jennifer: That's right. So we have a girl that wrote us in that says that when she became a mom, her whole world shifted, that her best friend was still single and child free, and she feels like her friend ditched her, and her friend probably feels like she doesn't relate to her anymore. So they don't say anything. They've drifted apart, they're not texting, they're not talking to each other, the invites stop call stop coming, her silence has gotten loud, and she feels really bad. This is something that we just had a little chat about before we got started, but we can relate to this one pretty well because um if you listen to our podcasts, I had babies literally out of the gate.

1:41 Jennifer: Day before, two days before I graduated, I had my sons. We kind of went through this a little bit where I had a child and um my friends didn't have any kids. I was the only one with a child. So um we kind of can relate to this a little bit and how we kind of went through that and how we navigated that and um talk about it. So I know Jackie, it was hard for you probably when I was your ride or die running around doing everything with you to I can't do that stuff anymore, or at least I can't do most of it.

2:12 Jennifer: My story may be a little different because even though I was a mother, I wasn't married. So I was still single, I guess, at that point, right?

2:20 Jackie: Right. But I mean, you you did what when we were roommates. I mean, that I we put ourselves in that situation. I was gonna be there for you. So it was when we kind of had to go, we all kind of went our different ways that I think the things that changed because I was working a lot and you were going and, you know, with your son and going your other way. And then I was moving on with um, like we always say, the the ex that, you know, you guys didn't get along. So it wasn't so much that I wanted away from you with your child, but then all of a sudden when I got caught up with this other person, he didn't we, you know, we didn't have kids.

2:55 Jackie: We were always just going and doing other things, which are kind of opposite of what you were doing.

2:58 Jennifer: Right. Which makes sense. I mean, I did get married at some point there too, which is kind of when our friendship I left the state, went off to another another state. So, but I mean, I think that I wanna I'm gonna talk from the mother side of this, and you can talk from the friend side of it as we talk about this, because I think that's the best place you've been, and that's the place I've been, so I know. But it does, it doesn't. I'm very fortunate, said it a million times. I'm very fortunate my friends were never they never abandoned me.

3:26 Jennifer: Like it wasn't like, oh my god, you're a mother, we don't have anything in common. Like, I don't think any of that stuff happened with me. Uh and the situation with me is a little different. I could see that, you know, even my son, he's just gotten married, and his uh, him and his wife, they've got a group of friends. They were just at my house for her baby shower, and they call it the Nashville family, but they're basically a bunch of group of kids that found each other. They're all kind of transplants that have lived here and they're all made friends with each other.

3:52 Jennifer: But they um, she's the first one having a kid. They're, you know, I was talking to those girls and I was like, hey, how you, you know, how do you guys know each other, whatever? And they're like, Oh, we're Nashville family, we all get together and stuff, and they're they're like, We're so excited. And they're like, Well, do any of you have kids? They're like, No. None of I go, well, how about how many of you are married? And there's like seven or girls, seven or eight girls, and they're like, No.

4:13 Jennifer: We're like, oh my God, none of you have any of the same life story as these two. There was one girl that was like, Well, I got married this year, so I'm married, but no kids. So I'm like, you know, it's gonna be a tough, tough gig for them to all stay together because these two are heading on a path of you know how it is when we have kids. You you're locked in for that for right 18 solid years of what do you need? What do I gotta do? I gotta drive you here, I gotta drive you there. Like, motherhood's no joke.

4:38 Jennifer: It's not like a part-time job, it's a full-time, never-ending 24-second job, period. So you could see how that could be a little different from how they're going to. So it's gonna be interesting to see how they kind of navigate that stuff. But from a mother's perspective, I think when you're a mother, you don't necessarily want to lose your friends because it's a connection that you kind of have that um feels pretty like an old life that you had that you kind of missed having too, right? So at least in in some ways.

5:11 Jennifer: Like I don't want to be completely tossed out of the group because I have kids.

5:15 Jackie: Right. Yours is a little different too, because you're a lot younger. You started younger than all all of us.

5:21 Jennifer: You're probably the next one to have kids after me, and you were in mid-20s. So I don't know what Michelle was doing. That girl didn't have kids till like I don't know, she was ready to retire. Like, she's like, these kids, Michelle, have these damn kids. We gotta get them.

5:36 SPEAKER_00: She's following her man around. He's in a band.

5:41 Jennifer: Like, oh my god, have some children.

5:43 SPEAKER_00: Should have kids right now, or at the bar every night where he's playing, or on tour. Come on.

5:48 Jennifer: I know. She took forever to have kids. So I was like, we just got done. I think one just graduated. I know, but I graduated in 2000. I graduated when her born. Dear Lord, Michelle. Have some children. So uh, but I don't think a mother wants to lose. You know, I feel bad. I feel on the mother's side of this, like it is a little disappointing to feel like your whole world, your friend, ditched you because of that. I don't think she's ditched you though. I think she's just living the life that she's she currently has, right?

6:18 Jennifer: Being single and running around and doing those things. I don't think you can feel bad for that. That's just that's just two choices that were.

6:26 Jackie: We talked about that. Yeah. It's just so everybody going on with life, and sometimes it just you're all doing different things, and then you all c seem to come back. But it sounds like maybe Amanda should get some other friends too.

6:38 unknown: Maybe.

6:39 Jennifer: Well, mother friends. That happened to me, like for sure. Like I needed mother friends. I needed somebody who had a kid to hang out with too at some point because Right That's You don't have to lose your best friend.

6:50 Jackie: You just it's gonna be a different situation when you're together.

6:53 Jennifer: Right. You can't be so much in mom mode when you're with your friend. And you don't want to be. I'm gonna be honest, and maybe because I had children before I got married and took on that responsibility. But it was like I'm still a person that mother doesn't change your internal clock everywhere you down the run. You still want to be with your friends, you still have a connection to them, you still want to You still want to day drink, right?

7:19 Jennifer: You watch it for I need to go be in my case, in my case, I still needed to be a child. I you don't just grow up overnight. You just can't. I just couldn't go from completely recklessly, you know, irresponsible to 100% responsible overnight. It did a huge jump. My responsibility took a huge stump, but it doesn't mean that you necessarily have that ability to do all that immediately. Give grace that these girls are young.

7:50 Jackie: Yeah, it's hard for them. And I'm like, she said she invited to stop coming. Texas get shorter. You gotta understand that too. Like, if they're single, they're probably thinking you don't want to come over with, you know, the baby or you don't want to be hung over the next day. It just matters what they're doing. So they're probably just trying to be respectful, also. I never think though, I I never think I always no matter what, if people say no to you, they have their reason, but you should always still give it, send that invitation out.

8:18 Jackie: That's how I feel on that part. No matter what. Let them say no. But I think you should always extend it if that makes sense. Whether you think, oh, well, they've got kids, they're not gonna be able to, they always say no. I don't think that's true. I think you still extend to everybody and let them make that choice. Because it does then, because that's probably where she's at. Because she could tell you, I I can't make it be, you know, I've got the baby. But and maybe she did it one time because she was just so exhausted.

8:42 Jackie: But this time people, hey, maybe I have time, I can get a babysitter, I want to be there with you guys, you know?

8:46 Jennifer: Right. Anybody wants to there's a there's a lot of people that if you just make them feel included, even if you just got an invite and they can't go, makes them feel like at least I was invited to this. That's it.

8:57 Jackie: Yeah, I could still reaching out, you're still reaching out to your friends. You still feel because yeah, you're gonna make those mommy friends. And I made a lot of mommy friends, and there's some that were very I was super, super close to that I considered a a best friend, but I kind of knew it was in that time. Remember the seasons, the reasons, all that that we've talked about. I knew once the kids moved on, that was probably not gonna be there. Not like you girls, you know, that I come back to.

9:22 Jackie: Right. But I could leave for a while with you guys doing my own thing with these other moms, you know, because you're you gotta do this stuff at the school with these moms. So you've gotta get to get someone that you can talk to and hang out with.

9:35 Jennifer: Right.

9:35 Jackie: Someone in that zone let your kids in that same zone as you.

9:39 Jennifer: Yeah, the stage of your life. Like, yeah. I mean, I have a really good friend that she had children right when I had children, our kids were like 19 days apart, our boys, and then later on we had second ones and they were 10 days apart. So she was really like super important for my my development as too, because I needed I needed structure on how to be a mother too. Like, you know, I that's part of it. Like, how are we navigating this when these children are doing this? And it's like, well, what are you doing?

10:06 Jennifer: And she's telling me what she's doing. And, you know, I sort of come to some kind of a way to get this done. But it's not like I can call you, be like, hey, this guy is, you know, acting this way, he's three years old. You don't have a basis for that because you don't have kids that age. You know what I mean?

10:21 Jackie: But maybe I'll swat him. That's what our parents did.

10:26 SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you would have called me. You know, I would have been like, just swat his little butt and he'll get straight.

10:31 Jennifer: Right?

10:33 SPEAKER_00: Now the kid turns around, he's three, he's I called CPS.

10:36 Jennifer: Yeah, he's now, you know, taking up on his own behalf. So, but yeah, I think that's important. I think that that's true in the motherhood, in the motherhood world of friendship. And this will people will go through it, and it's a good it's a good topic because it's gonna happen. You may be mothers at the same time, but you may have, I may have teenagers and you may have people in kindergarten. And the relation of the situation at the time is not the same because they're somebody would can give you, you know, if I have high schoolers, I can tell you what happened in kindergarten, what I remember, but not necessarily in today's days, you know, like that's another thing that's happened in this world is that the generations have changed in the way they in our day and age, you get swatted or you get spanked if you didn't behave.

11:17 Jennifer: That's not the way it is anymore. I changed that. So, you know, you'd be giving me old, old information because you hadn't gone through it yet, right?

11:25 Jackie: Like gone through it yet, exactly.

11:27 Jennifer: Yeah, so you'd be giving me information based on my kids.

11:30 Jackie: It's funny for me to say that because I literally never spanked my kids.

11:33 Jennifer: Yeah. I don't know if I ever spanked my different I did a lot of take. I did a lot of like I think when I my sons were younger. Remember the timeout? That timeout was a big thing. Like, just sit there in your little chair. Like you just misbehaved and Towards the wall.

11:50 Jackie: Towards the wall. He talks the wall like the wall's your friend now. And you're like, that doesn't work.

11:55 Jennifer: Or they don't sit, they just run around because you're like, you know, God bless you, parents that are parents these days. Cause I don't know. I mean, we got smacked, then we put our kids in timeout. I don't know what y'all are doing now, but something, somebody needs to feel structure somehow. So good luck with that. But it is a different time, it is a time in life where I think that you will drift, and we all do. And the other thing that happens is that once all of us became mothers, none of us had time for anything.

12:22 Jackie: Right. It wasn't we're all working still too. Like I worked through my first one. So you're working, you're taking care of kids, you're taking them to daycare, you're going home and taking care of the home, you're taking care of your husband, you're taking care of everything. Right. So it's just like two minutes on the phone is like, oh, okay, okay. And back then it was harder. So I don't know. This must be a newer situation, but now you have cell phones that you could at least send a text. Right.

12:48 Jackie: But back then we could only call each other. Right. So unless the other one was available and there was a phone, yeah, you'd have to try to sit down to do it. And yeah.

12:57 Jennifer: If you have kids, then you can have somebody watching the kids so you can have a conversation. I don't know if your kids were that way. My kids were certainly that way. If I was on the phone, they sat there and listened.

13:06 Jackie: The whole time. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you're like, go away. They're like, what is happening? Like, how come you're away when I'm not on the phone?

13:16 Jennifer: If I got on the phone, you're like stuck to glue with me, and you're like, go. I want to say something that's not appropriate for you to hear, so go. Like, they won't leave. So it is hard to be able to do it.

13:28 Jackie: So we are proof. We are proof that that. So don't, I mean, have hope. It's gonna happen. Just you gotta of course it hurts your feelings in the meantime. And I'm sure there was times that like you felt lonely when, you know, like you were in Arizona and I was out here and I'm going on with my life. And because I remember you calling. We tried it, we talk and stuff, but I was working and stuff back then too. Remember, I worked all the time. So to make a little time to talk to you even, but you had that little time gap that you could go outside.

13:56 Jackie: I remember to talk to me while the kids were inside. And if I you know, that type of thing. Has related to if I could make a moment.

14:04 Jennifer: Yeah, exactly. But I think that you're right is that these are that's a natural drift in friendship. And it's gonna be a drift for a good 15 years or something while people are.

14:17 Jackie: Unless all of a sudden your your friend jumps in and has a kid.

14:21 Jennifer: It's still married. Yeah, it's different stages. Like we said, even if they're at five and your kid somebody jumps in at starts having babies, different stages, different, it's not the same. You're not going to the same school events together.

14:33 Jackie: Your friend will definitely be around again if when your kids turn teenage and if they have babies, because now your kids are going to be their babysitters.

14:44 Jennifer: Like, hey, I'll come over. You've got two daughters, I'll come over and they're old enough to babysit, and we'll put them in the bedroom.

14:51 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. We're going back to do what we used to do.

14:54 Jennifer: But you do come back to it. Let's just be honest about that. And Jackie and I hear we've talked about the thing where we weren't friends for a while and we came back to each other. So even though it could feel maybe like you're drifting off into two different areas of life, and it's a natural drift that you always hope that at some point you do start looking at your friends again really seriously when your kids start getting older, because it's like your job's getting ready to end. Not that it ever ends, but it it's necessity in your life every day is coming to an end.

15:25 Jennifer: They're going to be off running around doing whatever they want to do with their friends, just like you did when you were that age. And you're not looking to hang out with your mom or your dad. I mean, some people do, but not very often. At 20, you kind of take off to go figure out your own ways in life and your parents are kind of like outdated. You know, that whole thing where you don't really know what you're talking about anymore. Like, my friends, we don't agree with you on that. Like, you're like, yeah, well, you don't have enough life experience to agree or disagree.

15:54 Jennifer: Life's gonna bite you in the butt and then you'll see what I was talking about. You know what I mean? Like kids get that way. So you've definitely come back to a center place of being important again in people's lives and having time for them. When you get done with children, there's another rebirth of that. I think there's a good time between being done with children and then they start having kids again, and then you're back to you have that a lot with your grandchildren. You're pretty busy with them doing that stuff, which is the next generation of parenting.

16:23 Jackie: Right, right. Only one that's a grandparent, and everybody else is now going. Well, you're gonna be a grandparent soon. I am everybody. Congratulations and the first grandbaby's coming. I'm on number four, so excited. You know, oh, but it's just things around, but we've gotten into that situation where like with with working with you now, like, well, I had committed to you know, watching the babies for, you know, a couple weeks or whatever, and it'd be like, okay, well, I can't go during this time, or I I know that's spring break, so they're probably gonna need a babysitter at that point because they don't have school, they have don't have anybody else.

16:55 SPEAKER_04: Right.

16:56 Jackie: Yeah. So I mean, yeah, like you're saying, grandparents come it all comes around again as a circle. Right. Right.

17:03 Jennifer: There's a time, there's a little time where they're not having kids, and then there's time when your kids having kids, and now you're in the grandparent world too. So it'll be interesting.

17:12 Jackie: Trying to get rid of because the uh the other girls all live out here, and so we try to get together, and sometimes, you know, you have, you know, maybe Jen or Michelle because of their the teenage kids, you know, it was towards that, uh, or college. Oh, they're home from college, you know. And but and then me, I'm like, oh no, now I have uh now my grandkids. So it's like trying to pin a date to see each other, you know.

17:36 Jennifer: And it's harder because there's five of us, right?

17:38 Jackie: Five of us is like And then sometimes you'll see, yeah, or or you know, they can't make it, or or I'll see, you know, maybe they put something on Facebook and but they couldn't make it. Social media tells on Don't put it, oh yes, I got in trouble this last week. I posted something a little too soon, so I had to take it down. Did you?

17:56 unknown: Yes.

17:57 Jackie: Yeah, we get in trouble for we have to start it. Yeah, I know. But when it comes to when it comes to grandchildren, not with my friends, you guys don't see well, no, there's certain things we can't post um after girls weekends and stuff for two of our girlfriends. Yeah, just we have to be terrible what we post. Yeah. So we need anything bad, like to me, you're just holding a beer, like you have a life. But I understand they like, you know, parents, you know, will sit and try to they're weird.

18:26 unknown: Yeah.

18:26 Jackie: Parents can be so strange.

18:28 Jennifer: But also, I have a, you know, I have family that lives in state, and sometimes, you know, not that I've come, I've come once, but like, nope, don't be posted that. I don't want everybody to know I was in town or something, you know what I mean? So sometimes we have to you have to hide me from social media too, because now that we're older, we're all connected to each other's parents and friends and everybody. So any posting can be held against us in a court of law. Like, ah shit. Exactly.

18:57 Jackie: You were that could be Amanda watching her friend going out with her friends and posting it. Yeah, exactly. Feeling lonely, right?

19:04 Jennifer: Yeah, exactly. So I just want you to, you know, really have an understanding that this stuff happens and that your parent, your your energy shifts, and you will spend more time with your family, and you will spend more time with your husband, and you will spend more time doing all those things because that's just a natural drift. And there will be a time though that you will come back to being friends. So don't, I don't know, don't hold it against her too hard that she's, you know, moving on and doing other things.

19:30 Jennifer: She's just trying to find people that she can relate to that she has something in common with too. It doesn't mean you're not her best friend, it just means that right now the commonality is kind of wavering a little bit and that there'll be maybe time again at some point. Maybe she'll come right back to you when she has a baby, and you'll be like, I already had babies. I'm not talking about that anymore. Right now hang out with a soccer mom's drinking wine. You're on your own.

19:53 Jackie: So, you know, it can't like having a conversation. Just have you need to have a gentle conversation too. You know, if you're that good of friends, just you know, I'm missing you. Um, I I know you're in this situation now and I'm in this, but I just want you to know I'm thinking about you. And I'm because if you're good enough friends, it's uh what do they say? Don't don't place the blame, but just try to, you know, be like I meant say more about you. I'm missing you. You know, I I like to be around you, but I understand that, you know, I have the baby and sometimes you're gonna do other things with other friends, but you know, just that you're still there too, and you know that it's all gonna change one day, but just don't be, don't make it a conflict, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

20:34 Jackie: Don't don't be mad at them for it.

20:35 Jennifer: Yeah, I think that's true too, that you have to you have to give grace if you want grace. So for sure, you know, we there's a lot of things that come up in our world, and it's like, I can't do this, I can't do that. Oh, I get it, I understand. We'll do it when you can. You know, the more graceful you are, the more graceful they'll be. Like it's a two-way street. Like if you're like, oh my God, I can't believe this, and da-da-da. Like, and then the minute you can't do something, your friend's like, I can't believe you're not doing this.

21:00 Jennifer: And it's like, if you give grace, more than likely they'll give grace. If they don't, then you got another problem there because you're not in the same boat. But um, you know, don't make people feel bad because their life got complicated and you're kind of, you know, not the center of their world anymore because that's a natural progression, right? So you have to be kind of you have to give if you want to get to. So just remember that about being a friend and you you'll come back around, they'll be back.

21:26 Jennifer: We're proof of that. We're all back in some kind of space where we can all hang out again and you know, act like teenagers when we want to get up together and spend our time together, and that's a blessing. And you want those old friendships too, because old friendships can remind you of who you used to be.

21:42 Jackie: Exactly.

21:44 Jennifer: Because if you just have yeah, friends, mom friends, right. Yeah, they think of you as just a mom and you don't really get to be who you are.

21:51 Jackie: And sometimes I feel like you're a different person when you're you meet these mom friends.

21:56 Jennifer: You are. You're in mom mode.

21:58 Jackie: Mm hmm. Totally different.

22:00 unknown: Yeah.

22:00 Jackie: Not like when not when we meet up with you guys and we're like, all right, okay, um, like maybe you're flying in. Okay, we gotta get a 12 pack of Corona. She needs this, she needs the white claws, I need the wine, me and Jen need the wine. I'm not gonna go, okay, we got a PTA meeting. I've got to have my milkbook.

22:17 Jennifer: Yeah. Here, I brought coffee and my thermos. Anybody wants them? We're going back to being like ridiculous when we get together. Like, you know, get us a cocktail and let us talk smack. Just let us talk smack. Because that is a freeing experience because you're in a safe space, you're talking smack. They don't care. They're talking smack with you. And you then go back to your life and go back to who you were. But for a brief moment in time, you have let loose and let it all out. And nobody's staring at you, like, did you just say that?

22:48 Jennifer: Or like, yeah, I hear you. I hear you. I hear you.

22:52 Jackie: And you know what? I agree with you. And you're like, yes, my people. These mom friends, you're like, I can't believe she did that. Oh my goodness. And it's all the kid talk. It's like, well, when my little girly did that, I put her in a corner and we talked about it.

23:09 Jennifer: We put her in a little time out chair. And you know, I gave her crazy.

23:13 SPEAKER_02: And then we discussed it.

23:14 Jennifer: And then you gave her friends in our day and age, we'd have got our asses smacked on that and been sent to our rooms and, you know, punished the rest of our lives until we behaved better, anyways. Um I think that it's not that we would be doing any of those things. I don't want anybody to say that, but I'm just saying, like, it's freeing to be able to say it. And the friend of yours is just sitting there going, Yeah, uh-huh. I know, I remember that. Like, I'm not throwing that out at the mom's club meeting, that's for sure.

23:42 Jennifer: So, especially because we all grew up in and we're blessed that way because we did all grow up together. So we do have the same generational behavior of how we were raised. So it's definitely nice to be able to go, that's how it was, exactly how it was when I was growing up, because that is the truth. We're all in the same year. We're born the same year, all of us. So everybody remembers exactly how it was. So that's always kind of nice. So, anyways, let's get to the best two rapid questions. Who's more likely to send a six-minute voicemail instead of texting?

24:10 Jennifer: I don't know if any of us have that.

24:12 Jackie: I can't I guess if somebody would, it might be me. I probably the only one that does. Not six minutes though, but I might leave a voicemail. I don't think I do as much anymore. It's like if you guys don't answer, then I text. I just try to call you. Where are you? Pick up. You're not picking up the phone.

24:28 Jennifer: Yeah. Well, I know for you, if you call me twice in a row repetitively, something's happened. I then pick up and I'm like, the first time I might ignore you if I'm like doing something, but the second time I'm like, I gotta go, something's happened. So it's kind of like a known, you know, thing. If you if even if you if Michelle did it, I would do the same thing. Like, okay, you're calling back to back. That means like, you know, something's up. Like, you need to talk to me about something. So who would survive a week with a newborn and no sleep?

24:55 Jennifer: Who would survive a week? That's gotta be you.

24:57 Jackie: Yep. I already, well, I haven't done a whole week with the grandbabies, but like this Saturday I have all the grandbabies to give uh mommy and daddy a break. Well, that's nice. So that's a eight-month-old. No, no, she's 18 months now. What is she 18 months? And then a four and a six-year-old boys. Grandma, grandpa, and grandma have to plan it out. Okay, we're gonna take them to the pool. We're gonna take fried chicken, so the mess is there for dinner. We're gonna tire them out, bring them home, give them a bath, they can have a little dessert, and then they should be ready for bed.

25:30 Jennifer: So basically, you plan your entire day to wear them out.

25:34 Jackie: Oh, yes. But it's fun. I mean, we're excited because we have soccer first and then we'll take them after that. So our grand one grandson, the oldest, plays soccer, so he'll be exhausted anyway. So yeah, he must have been.

25:46 Jennifer: Pools are the best thing for any kid. I remember being a kid and loving a pool. Like, no man's business. If you had a pool, you were, you know, you you got some extra points in your world because you were like, ooh, you have a pool? Like, I like to come over and swim. Like, what is the deal with swimming in kids? Kids love to swim. They do.

26:02 Jackie: But it's great. It is. I don't mind it. We have fun with them at the pool, so it works for me.

26:07 Jennifer: Well, you guys love the sun too.

26:08 Jackie: That's true. Who's more likely to forget a girl's night for a PTA meeting?

26:12 Jennifer: You?

26:15 Jackie: Probably in the old days. When I was a mom. Yeah. Yeah, I probably would have. But I did have the one PTA, because I did PTA when my kids were in elementary. When they first started in kindergarten, all that, I got part of the school. There was a mom, Kathy. Kathy was the PTA president, you know, my girlfriend Kathy, who I've talked to many times in the past. Um, so she I actually had fun on that PTA because you know, she was my good friend and we did a lot together. And and so some of the other moms were pretty cool too.

26:45 Jackie: But of course, you got the ones that are just so serious. So uh I probably would have gave up girls not being like, oh, I'm gonna go hang out with Kathy. But like when I moved to my second pl when I moved up to when I after I separated from my ex and I we changed schools, I made sure not to join the PTA. I helped in the classrooms. I told the teachers straight out because they were trying to get me to do the PTA situation. And I said, Nah, I'm a single mom and I'm not gonna get caught up in that this time.

27:12 Jennifer: PTA. PTA and I would not be friends, so I don't think it's not like one of those things I like to I don't know. Mothers can be a little clicky. I don't know. I'm just not I don't like to be told what to do, and I don't think I'd like to PTA, and also I would want to run it. If I'm not running it, I don't want to do it. It's just how I am, like being honest. I have a friend though. I want to just That's what I'm saying, you'd be too blunt. They'd say something, you'd be in a meeting and be like, I don't think that's tramp.

27:40 Jennifer: Why am I doing that? My friend just texted me this week about PTA and she's like, I went in, I was being the PTA president, and they just sent me a letter because she owns her own business. She's like, We, we're friends. And she's like, it kicked me out. I'm like, what? They said that they didn't feel their match. It wasn't a match. She's like, this is government. And I'm like, well, welcome to politics, my friend. You just joined the political party of PTA, which is maybe a lower level that you can't get anything done without a bunch of bureaucracy and people telling you what to do and how to do it and processes.

28:12 Jennifer: I go, you're probably not meant for PTA. You probably tried to circumvent the system one too many times and got yourself in trouble. So she's like, for sure. And I'm like, just get out of it. If it's government brand and you don't want to be in the government run system that requires slow pace, then you probably ought to jump out of that. So, anyways, what's one thing you've never stopped doing for your best friend, no matter how busy life got? Just being like being in and out going, yeah. Like we might have to plan it out a little bit, but I think we always just try to if we can see each other, I think that's always a nice thing.

28:48 Jennifer: Of course, I moved to Nashville, so it's a little harder for me to get together with you girls. But I know you girls still try to get together and see each other and because getting together and and being in the same space is being on the phone is good, but it's not the same as if you're together. You know, we just went to Vegas together. It's just it's easier when we're together to really have a connection than it is.

29:09 Jackie: It was funny because I was listening to one of our podcasts yesterday, just getting caught up, and it's like I felt like you're sitting next to me and we were talking, and it's just like I knew we had to do some more this week while I was in the car. I'm just like it just I felt like I'm like we have to do some more podcasts. And I'm thinking, I just talked to her, and I'm like, well, no, I didn't. I was listening to my podcast.

29:34 Jennifer: This was a podcast, which is just like.

29:36 SPEAKER_00: And I'm laughing with it and like like having the you know what I mean? The discussion.

29:40 Jennifer: But we have all these like podcasts now.

29:42 Jackie: We can listen to each other and lead, like, oh yeah, like that's kind of thing I think us best friends need to get into doing, and that could be like on the situation, that one girl, but we need to start trying to figure out like once a month, or just to be realistical to begin with, but once a month that we set a date that we do a zoom with all five of us.

30:00 Jennifer: Yeah, I agree.

30:01 Jackie: And just say, hey, and we can even say this can be our topic, or hey, you get we're gonna catch up on what you're doing, or you know, because Michelle's got now a daughter gonna get married. Right about that. You're about to have a grandbaby that we can all sit and talk. I've thought about that. I think that's a a thing, something we need to get yeah going right now. So get on that, Jen.

30:19 Jennifer: Me. We just learned how to get our computers turned on and see each other on this same screen. It's how Down We Are It Takes Us Forever to Podcast. But it is nice because we are on a podcast right now, and she's sitting in California, and I'm sitting in Nashville, and we're talking to each other, but we can see each other. So this is, you know, a nice way to if we had to do this blindly, it'd be a little different, don't you think? Like if I couldn't see you and you couldn't see me, that would be difficult.

30:45 Jennifer: So I think you're right. Probably we should try to.

30:47 Jackie: What's that is it's just like a phone call.

30:49 Jennifer: I know. But we it'd be like FaceTime, but we can see that. You know who knows? Somebody did bring that up. They could FaceTime all five of us. Wasn't it Jen?

30:57 Jackie: She said that yes, because her family does it. She does it with her kids. We need to bring up she's I'm gonna put her on that. That's it. All right. Okay. She knows how to do it. She can she can plan it for us. She can do it. You know, while while she's going teaching school and dealing with all her other stuff. We love you, Jen. I'm just I'm pointing out that I know you're busy, but I know you could do it.

31:19 Jennifer: I know. Someone's gonna take the lead because I don't know if technology is Jackie and I's friend. If this episode hit you in the fields or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

31:27 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die.

31:31 Jennifer: And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

31:35 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

31:52 Song: We stick together at or die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. Reuniting's like we never been apart, and every single time we're out of iron heart to heart.

32:19 Song: There's not enough words to describe what you made a mate.

32:30 Song: Stay dry next to me. I'll bottom bacon laugh to break.

32:42 Song: The finish and all the big hates were writing a story. Every day we'll keep open for your face and down to the day.

34:18 Song: Loyalty.