Friendship Love Languages: Show up for your bestie in the way she feels it most.

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer. And I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind testimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:10 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh till you snort stuff.

0:15 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet.

0:19 Jackie: You're in good company. Let's get slightly unsupervised. So today we're going to talk about the love language of friendship and how we show up for each other. We always talk about love languages and romantic relationships, but what about friendships? Today we're breaking down how we show love to our besties and how we need to receive it in return.

0:36 Jennifer: Yes, so the five love languages, just as a refresher, because I know Jackie and I podcast a few days ago about the love languages, and we didn't have them in front of us. We couldn't remember the fifth one. Of course we wouldn't. So the five love languages, according to Jer Gary or Gary Chapman, is words of affirmation, which of course is when somebody tells you really nice things about yourself or builds somebody up. Acts of service, which is doing things for people, um, you know, like helping them out, giving them acts of service, and then gifts is gifts.

1:06 Jennifer: That's pretty self-explanatory. Quality time, which is just spending time with somebody. That's how they feel the most loved. And then physical touch, which is the fifth one, which is one I couldn't remember because I don't know if it it pertains so much to best friends, but certainly I know there's people that really enjoy somebody hugging them or whatever. So I guess it could technically be part of that.

1:25 Jackie: Yeah, like we're huggers when we see each other, but we're not. I mean, unless one of us are upset, we'll of course then do more physical touch. Yeah, the comfort part. But otherwise we just kind of hug, hey, good, and then when it's time to leave, hug again.

1:37 Jennifer: Hug again, yeah, exactly. So the thing is they're just they're not all for couples. Sometimes we um it's typically, I think, psychologically how the love languages work, but these are the five main ones that so you can recognize which one you one you receive as your love languages. It doesn't necessarily mean that you also give that way. So there could be two different you could have two different love languages essentially, one to give and one to receive. So how do you think, Jack?

2:02 Jackie: You are I said I said I think uh my important one is quality time. That's everybody.

2:08 Jennifer: Quality time.

2:09 Jackie: Yeah, that's what you're doing. I like qual quality time. Yeah. Though you say I'm act of service person.

2:14 Jennifer: Yes, I think you're the way you show love. I think quality time too. We we spend a lot of time together. You definitely show up, but I think that like for me looking in is that your acts of service are kind of your way of showing us love. Would you say that's true?

2:28 Jackie: Yeah.

2:28 Jennifer: That you enjoy doing doing stuff for people.

2:30 Jackie: You do, yeah. Taking care of people, yeah.

2:32 Jennifer: Yeah, I think you're a natural nurturer in that regard, which is you know whatever I can do to make your lives easier. You are really good at that. And it fits into the fact that you've been really good at mothering as well as just being this really amazing house or wife to your husband now that you know you do do lots of things that would show love. I'm sure that Rick would, your husband would agree with us that, you know, your acts of service, and particularly this last year with him with all his cancer stuff, and about how you took care of everything for him.

3:04 Jennifer: Every doctor's appointment went down and cried till you got into doctors.

3:09 Jackie: I did what it took. Called him continuously.

3:12 Jennifer: Yeah. Yes. She may never get recognized for that publicly. Uh we watched it and she did. I mean, I know she packed up her car and had her grandbaby one day and went down to the doctor's and you couldn't get in, and you sat there and cried until they made him appointment. Yep. Like willing to do just about anything to help people, which is, you know, that's a really that was an important one for sure. Yeah, that's amazing quality. I don't know how many people would spend go that deep into it to help someone.

3:36 Jackie: Well, as I like my husband was saying, 'cause I just overheard him talking to one of our friends recently and because I was getting ready, we were camping. And it was sweet. But he he made this remark to him. He said, You know, I always known she loves me. But he's like, I really found out how much she loved me. Right. When we went through all this, which I thought that tears me up. That's really sweet. I'm like, you didn't realize I loved you that much. So I don't know.

3:59 Jennifer: You can always do that. I suppose when somebody does something out of the extraordinary for anybody is really like a good indication. There's the normal things we always do for each other. Right. It's like that's that's a normal, pretty much everybody does that. But then there's the extraordinary part of it, which is really going beyond above and beyond for somebody. So um that is you.

4:19 Jackie: And if anybody needs any help, I'll help you. Any of our friends, just come to me. I'm an expert now.

4:25 Jennifer: Start checking for stuff. Quality time too with um is mine, uh, which is you know similar to you too. What we like to spend time. That's probably why we spend a lot of time together. Like coming to Vegas, like, do you want to go to Vegas? It's like, yeah, I'll come. And we booked it, and I flew in, and she picked me up.

4:40 Jackie: We've been here for four days. That's right.

4:42 Jennifer: Four days.

4:42 Jackie: Four days fun too. It's been fun. Every day I can't complain about one day. They've all been different.

4:49 Jennifer: They have been done up different things. But now that's the thing about being best friends. We like to kind of do the same thing. So we could find we haven't done much.

4:56 Jackie: We podcast, gambled, walked, ate, but we're we're having fun. I've laughed harder this four days than I probably think we have a long time. Which is good.

5:06 Jennifer: Right, right. Emotional release. Like we've met some people that on the way that we've known before or we were friends with prior, and then we've reconnected with them, which has always been really cool. Yesterday we were at a craps table, and I don't know if you're like I said, Jackie's good at making friends, that's her personality. But we ended up at that crap tables, which was all girls, by the way.

5:25 Jackie: It was so fun.

5:26 Jennifer: It was so fun.

5:27 Jackie: It was so fun.

5:28 Jennifer: I think we might have been there for like two hours. Yes. Yeah. And I actually ran out of money at some point.

5:33 Jackie: I was winning. I was winning the one time roulette table. It's okay.

5:38 Jennifer: Roulette table, I'm sorry.

5:40 Jackie: But it was woman energy for sure.

5:42 Jennifer: Yeah. In fact, I ran out of money, and there was what, two, four, five of us there at the table. We kind of spread out, so we were pretty much you couldn't get in. And so I wouldn't move because we didn't want to make that energy go away. Yeah, I was trying to keep the energy for the rest of you because you guys were doing so well.

6:01 Jackie: Just having so much fun.

6:02 Jennifer: Yeah.

6:02 Jackie: I mean, one was from Texas, another one was from California, another one was from trying to think there was another one.

6:10 Jennifer: These are the parts of that I don't get involved in, and Jackie Al has all the detail of it. And one was from here. One was from here.

6:16 Jackie: Yeah.

6:17 Jennifer: Yep. That's what I'm saying. Like she hits with everybody, makes friends with everybody. I was friends with the one that was kind of I was spending quality time with my new friends. She was. And I was blocking energy so that the male energy couldn't get on the table and screw it up. So I was doing my I think that was acts of service on my part.

6:34 Jackie: That was very good. And you were, you kind of had your little right there.

6:39 Jennifer: Yeah, people would come up and there would be a We had an audience actually at one point. I did, but I looked around and I'm not sure. I do like a couple watching, and I'm like, to the wife, do you want to play? And she'd be like, No. And I was like, okay, if you don't want to play, I can't move. You can't play to the gentleman. I'm like to the female table right here. So and I eventually I had to let somebody in. And then of course it changed the whole It did. And then we had to walk away.

7:01 Jackie: I take my winnings and go. Everything's changed. Done feel good. That's right.

7:04 Jennifer: So yesterday my acts of service really was standing there flopping the table.

7:08 Jackie: And I was having quality time with my new friends.

7:12 Jennifer: It doesn't go back and forth. So I guess we can flip and switch, and we need to.

7:15 Jackie: And that and the other point that I was thinking about um was all of us, I think in our group, enjoy our quality time. Uh like when you came out at Christmas time. Yeah. And then it was just one night, but we got all of us together and just did nothing. We just went to the house, got Rosa Maria's, and just spent the time and talked all night until everybody got tired and went to bed.

7:36 Jennifer: I think that, you know, that's true. Um, even even as we've grown up and these girls have been around us, is that it's always like it's always important that we get together. Like those are the times that we really spent a lot of like quality time and done many things as a group, and whatever we do, it doesn't necessarily matter what we do because as long as we're together, then we're just happy.

7:58 Jackie: Because you were here for a very short time, but it was okay, we got a window. We all have to get together and have that quality time.

8:04 Jennifer: And just for reference, it was the day after Christmas. Right. Because I was here for Christmas. My mom's 80th birthday was the next day. So I came for Christmas Day to see my mom for Christmas. And then uh I was like, There's one day, girls, then I'm gonna be able to get away for a few days, you know, for the night. So it's gonna be the day after Christmas, which all honesty is a hard day to get everybody together because that's the end of the holiday. Everybody's That's my packing up day.

8:29 Jackie: I get rid of Christmas.

8:30 Jennifer: But for everybody else, you know, it was really very sweet. And I want to thank everybody for taking the time to carve that out of their schedule because it's not necessarily a day that's very easy to just get people together. No. It was like not holiday. Yeah, everybody had to change their schedule to make that happen. So that's you know, that's for me. That's a good love language. Yeah, that's a good way to show me love. Like we'll we'll do whatever we have to do to get that done. Exactly. So I think everybody, you know, has something different.

8:59 Jennifer: I think um all of these would relate to me in some way. Gifts probably being physical touch and gifts probably being the least for my friends. But everybody likes to hear words of affirmation too, right? So I think they're all can all decide that some of those are important to us, but I guess it's the way that we feel and the way we receive. I think if I'm gonna give love, it's probably words of affirmation. Pretty good at telling people, I think, especially when they need to hear it, how great they are.

9:26 Jackie: Yeah, you are really good at that.

9:27 Jennifer: Yeah, like I can build I'm getting better as I've gotten older. Right. I try to. And then you feel like less, like, you know, it's like, oh, that feels good. So I can tell other people. So I think for me, like words of affirmation is something that comes pretty easily for me to give to my friends. Um, you know, quality time, of course, but I think that's probably my when you are in a down spot, if you're in a downward spiral, I'm a good girl to all. Because I'll be like, you know, no, no, we got it, you got this, you remember who you are, kind of thing.

9:55 Jennifer: So right.

9:56 Jackie: And my mine is uh, as you've said, acts of service. All right. Just like you're coming to town, everybody come to my house. Everybody can stay the night. You have to pay if you need to bring your husbands, bring your husbands. But we're all gonna guess. I'm opening my home for everybody.

10:09 Jennifer: That's right. She doesn't just open her open the way, she makes her bed, puts flowers next to it. You know, it's she has an immaculate home. So it's, you know, like going to a hotel, really, to stay the night at Jackie's house. Uh-huh. You get quite that service at my house.

10:24 Jackie: It's a clean bet. I get the whole upstairs at your house.

10:27 Jennifer: It's all mine.

10:28 Jackie: Until you wake up in the morning and start working.

10:30 Jennifer: Yeah, until I'm just gonna work. I'm like, sorry guys, I gotta work. I have my my office is up there. So when love languages clash, uh attention when showing up for someone in your love language and they don't feel it. Um I think that that's true. That if you are a if you're a person that likes quality time, and I don't think it refers to us, but just from a general and best friend world, if you have a best friend that likes quality time and you don't give them time, but you send them a gift, you can see how that could be a little bit of like, you're like, well, I sent you a gift.

11:00 Jennifer: So it doesn't matter if I spend time with you, I gave you a gift. That may be how you receive love, so you send it that way. I don't know, but I think it's important to, just like it is in a romantic relationship, to understand how that person feels loved is also very important in the friendship world. Like, how do you receive love? Am I giving you the kind of love? Because people can have a real clash over that. I'm sure there's a lot of friends that feel differently on their love languages. And if you don't, it really does pay to pay attention to what your friend likes and what your friend doesn't.

11:29 Jennifer: It's part of being a good friend, right? You have to you have to be aware of their love languages and show up for them. So if you have if you have somebody that really needs like a lot of words of affirmation and you're not good at it, it's probably gonna be a tough gig to be best friends with somebody because that person isn't gonna feel that type of love that they get from you.

11:50 Jackie: That's what I think is good about like our group. Like we're all different, but we all receive the love language that we need. You know what I mean? Because there's so many of us, so we each have our specialty, I think, or some of us have a a lot of the same, but I think that that's what makes our five our group of five work.

12:05 Jennifer: Yeah. And we're all similar. Right. You know, we grew up in the same environment. The whole, the whole, our whole childhood was kind of everybody being together. We like I said, we grew up in a very you know, particular environment where it was very close knit. We didn't have all the things that modern technology has. You kind of were we didn't have phones, we didn't know how to get a hold of people, we had to find each other, you know what I mean? Like more than anything, if you would think back about how that childhood was and all of the friends that we hung out together, we mostly spent quality time together.

12:35 Jennifer: That's probably why we really value that the most, because that's kind of how we all became friends, right? We all spent that quality time together.

12:45 Jackie: Sitting at lunch, always the same place, remember? At MPH, you can be the one table. Or remember when you used to sit on the sometimes sit on the the floor the floor. Yeah. So funny. Or even it's so long ago. I hope I'm remembering it right too. I do remember being on the floor eating lunch.

13:01 Jennifer: Yeah. At times there's also the football field like sitting in the that's the high school. Yeah. Yeah.

13:05 Jackie: Yeah, we always had that same. Actually, there's pictures in some of the yearbooks with us all sitting like there.

13:12 Jennifer: Exactly. Which way I think that all of us really were holiday time as as children are growing up together was how we all connected with each other. So it we've just followed that through to adult life. Like that's important to us.

13:26 Jackie: It's important with me, uh, my husband and I with our kids too now. It's always, you know, like uh holidays come or our birthdays. What do you well we want to, you know, they'll ask the other one. And it's like, you know, all they want is quality type. They just want to see you. The other one. It's always okay. Go if you gotta get bring a gift. But we're like past the gift thing. I think because if we want something, we just get it. But I do I am impressed. Like you guys have done this last year, our our group kind of changed we kind of changed up on what we gave each other, like thought more about it.

13:54 Jackie: You know, it's usually we send flowers.

13:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

13:58 Jackie: Yeah. So uh this year was pretty, pretty inner pretty good.

14:01 Jennifer: Yeah.

14:02 Jackie: I feel like we kind of went, kind of changed it.

14:04 Jennifer: Oh, you mean like when we gave him shelves beer?

14:06 Jackie: I like you guys got me that heart, like with the little, what do you call those? The little cactuses type things in it. Right. So and I still have it. So every day, whenever I go water it, it's outside of my little table. It like makes you smile. Mm-hmm. And then it's growing really good, so I'm all proud of myself. We did take a picture to show you guys.

14:23 Jennifer: And so it's nurturing side.

14:25 Jackie: Exactly. There it is.

14:26 Jennifer: The rest of us were like, that's too bad.

14:29 Jackie: Anyway, so that's the time I that's like a gift. But usually I'm not like into getting gifts. And I like giving. I'm more of the want to give than receive.

14:38 Jennifer: But I think that from a standpoint of friendship, and let's talk about those birthday gifts because we do send each other gifts. There's five of us, and we each have January, February, March, April, May. We all five have our birthdays one month after another. So every month, one of us has a birthday for the first five months of the year. So yeah, it's like we don't kind of share a month. Some of us are closer together. Like Jen and I are not too far apart. I'm in April and she's in May. So but you know, we do we do take some time and we we talk about it.

15:06 Jennifer: We've said that behind the scenes. We kind of give each other ideas, hey, so-and-so's birthday's coming up, and like what do you think about this? And we're like, uh no, not that one. Like, don't give a shell flower, she won't write up. She has a beer. But I'm sure that's how she felt love. You know what I mean? She's like, You girls went outside of the box of just giving me, you know, some flowers or you know, whatever. Like you showed up with something that I really value.

15:34 Jackie: And I met her for lunch and took it to her, so I surprised her.

15:38 Jennifer: Very um thankful for that. And everybody does. I mean, I guess that's shoes, which sounds kind of strange, but it's not actually they're sandals because um she only likes to wear sandals. Yes, and I'm like notorious flip-flopper. In fact, sometimes in the travel I forget to change out my shoes to a nicer pair of flip-flops. So sometimes I marry people in flip-flops, and I'm like, oh my god, that's terrible. But I will throw on a pair of flip-flops.

16:01 Jackie: Uh so we get our nicer looking pair of flip-flops. So they're dressy.

16:06 Jennifer: Yeah, so they're dressy. So they're trying to like improve my fashion stuff, which is great. Thank you.

16:13 Speaker 2: We're helpful. That's our act of service.

16:18 Jennifer: Guys, anyway, so um then I think it's also important that maybe you start asking. If you don't know, we're here to try to show you guys how to be good friends because I think that the thing that we pride ourselves on, one thing I pride myself on is I feel like I'm a really good friend. It's my my strength area that I think that is the easiest for me. So part of this doing this whole thing is just to kind of give people ideas about friendship, what is best. Like we can only give your opinion. There's obviously that is a specialist on how to be a best friend.

16:48 Jackie: Yeah, and there might be friends like we're saying that physical touch isn't so much of ours. Right. But I I know there's a lot of friends out there that are very yeah, touchy and huggy, and yeah. And that there's nothing wrong with that. That's fine. We're just saying our group isn't.

17:04 Jennifer: Chris gives the best hugs. Like I for a hug.

17:07 Jackie: Yeah, she does. I've never thought about that, but she does. She does the full wrap around arms.

17:14 Jennifer: You feel it. Like you could feel Chris's hood. Like I've told her that. I'm like, I've never thought about that.

17:19 Jackie: She just said it, but it's true.

17:21 Jennifer: Right. Like I go in for Christy's hugs. I'm like, best hugger ever. Best for best hugger. I've told her that too. Have you? Yeah, I'm like, you're the best hugger ever. Because when she hugs you, you feel it.

17:31 Jackie: Yeah. She wraps both arms like around you when she hugs you.

17:35 Jennifer: Pretty tight. I guess at first you're like, oh, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, this feels good.

17:40 Jackie: I like this.

17:42 Jennifer: See on her hugs. But she's the best hug you've ever had.

17:45 Jackie: You get very excited, Chris.

17:47 Jennifer: Good job. She's a really, really good hugger. So Chris maybe one of her one of her might things might be physical touch because she really doesn't. Oh, that's true. But it's important to understand them. It's important to, you know, we get so self, especially when you're young, you're sort of self-involved about what you need and what's good for you. And and, you know, being a good friend is really also taking time out to kind of see what they like and the way they respond to you, and that you kind of need to study that a little bit, observe people.

18:15 Jennifer: Like, are you you one, are you getting that from somebody, but are you also giving that to somebody? Like don't take for granted that they don't need something from you that you're not necessarily. I know words of affirmation from the standpoint could be hard for a lot of people. Like you were saying, you're getting better at it.

18:33 Jackie: I am.

18:33 Jennifer: Yeah, but it doesn't it didn't come naturally.

18:35 Jackie: It doesn't come naturally because I didn't grow up with that.

18:38 Jennifer: Right. So I think that's Sam, and you're like, oh, that feels kind of good. Like it'll be gifts and back kind of things. Um it's not natural. All of these things are not and I see people light up.

18:48 Jackie: Yes. And I don't know if it's because they're not expecting it from me, or it's just that's the natural, like, people want to hear it. Like I do know people want to hear it, but I I I do think sometimes it's like, oh, oh, she just gave me a compliment. So they're like, this is great, you know?

19:01 Jennifer: So especially people that aren't used to words about fervation, they can be a little uncomfortable with it at first because they feel like I'm uncomfortable. No one's ever said anything nice to me, or no one's ever told me anything, and they can get it can make people a little uncomfortable, and then you sort of get more used to it. You're like, oh, okay. It gets more freeing because I'm like, I don't know why we would hold backwards of affirmation.

19:25 Jackie: Well, it's funny because I I know I did it when I worked.

19:27 Jennifer: Yeah.

19:28 Jackie: Because I trained. You're always giving those people your training all that positive, that positive feedback. So I think maybe by the time I got home or when I'm around other people, it's like, okay, I have to at work all day. I don't want to do it now when I get home.

19:40 Jennifer: Yeah. I think when you're younger too, I think when you're younger too, especially girls, we can be a little competitive. So probably you're not, I'll not tell her that. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of like, how do I look? You look fine. Okay, let's go.

19:51 Jackie: That's right. I do that to my husband. Because you know, he always has to look good. And I'm just like, he's I'm like, you're more the girl than I am. Well, uh, you know what? I maybe I should change this shirt. Maybe that shirt isn't right. You know, my husband, he likes to always look good. He's always done perfectly. But I'm always like, You're good, let's go. I love you, hun.

20:08 Jennifer: He's like looking for the words about me, how good do I look?

20:11 Jackie: I know that's what he's looking for. You're the dude. Let's go.

20:14 Jennifer: It was harder for us to probably say those things to each other because we just it wasn't something that was natural to us.

20:20 Jackie: No, it would be more like, oh, we look good. Not you. Right.

20:24 Jennifer: Bring yourself into the whole. You know that's true. You know that's true.

20:30 Jackie: Come on, girls, we all look good. Let's go hit the town of Lake Gohead.

20:33 Jennifer: Yeah. Go hang out at the village and with all our other friends. We're gonna go hate it.

20:38 Jackie: Mickey D. We all look hot.

20:42 Jennifer: So yeah, for sure. And acts of service, I don't think we did any of those probably when we were younger. Just when you're done in your 20s, you spent quality time. But learn them because it's important to know. And as you grow and as you evolve, it will become more apparent who needs what, when, and where. And if you're a really good friend, you're going to definitely pay attention. If you're not a person of words of affirmation, let me invite you to do this. Say something nice to your friend and watch the reaction, just like Jackie was saying.

21:10 Jennifer: But if she didn't realize it, then would she would start saying it and people would respond to her and she's like, Maybe I should do this more often. Feels good to give it and it feels good to receive it. So just you know, be my learning to speak.

21:22 Jackie: Yeah, your friend's language is what I'm talking about. So uh use affirmations if you're not normally naturally verbal, which is that's what I'm saying. I'm learning to do. And like I said, I I see a difference. And maybe because I I look at people more and care. Like I just don't say it. You know what I mean? Uh sometimes you're so busy, so you just like saying you didn't, but now it's like I'm really into one on one c you know what I mean? Yeah. At this age.

21:45 Jennifer: Yeah.

21:45 Jackie: Like even when my babies, my grandbabies, you're so good. She got a look in their eyes. Yeah. Before you're like, come over here and not really thinking about it. And carve out time, even when life is is bit another one. I'm just saying, pretty much carve it out when it's busy.

22:00 Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah.

22:01 Jackie: And if you're if your best friend needs quality time, you're gonna have to push yourself to like I think this trip that we both came on, I think we both kind of needed to just get away and spend some time together. We do we talk on the phone all the time, but it's not the same as being together. Right.

22:16 Jennifer: Yeah. And also we podcast now. We can podcast. We have podcasts from my house and your house. And then we do it on the phone and we can see each other, which is even still kind of fun because we're like, oh we're not podcasting ourselves or we're not videoing ourselves where we can see each other on like the computer to say hi or whatever. Or while we're doing each other. It's like three days not figuring out how to mic to work so we're just rating each other. And we're talking together on the phone.

22:38 Jennifer: Like we make it work but yeah it's always good to have one-on-one um and girls' weekends should never be off the table. You should always have girls girls' weekends or girls it's just good to release some energy some fun. Like you said you laughed like that's the endorphin high too when you laugh you can release a lot of tension.

22:58 Jackie: I think I lost some weight from all the laughing because my gut so bad it was good. Um and and giving the gifts with intention we've talked about that not just stuff but stuff with meaning. Right. Which that's what we just said like this last year, 55. Like instead of just doing the same old thing we all hey we should change it up this year. Right. Without even really thinking about it just happened now uh organically with all of us. Yeah. It was so it was kind of it was good. Yeah and as we get older too they're more meaningful because we realize that we're not gonna like you have lost some friends and and actually I have a girlfriend that made us um a wine the little things you put on your glasses you know it's your glass it's a picture of me and my my girlfriend who passed away and it's stay it's on my bar on one of my wine glasses.

23:46 Jackie: So it's always there. Yeah that was a good that was a really not just something you're gonna oh thanks and then shut right so like even when I wash the glass I take it off put it to the side put it back on yeah and that was special but that that was very very meaningful. I like those a lot.

24:03 Jennifer: Yeah we just spent a little time a little extra time like Michelle who um I don't know when I'm just we were children we I don't know if we ever kid gifts Michelle's never been a kid I've noticed like in the last I don't know 10 years or so like she gives really good gifts to us and she spends some time at it.

24:18 Jackie: Yeah like she always gets us something with the five of us on there and like or the pictures and I have the my frame with all my pictures with all you guys that she did with with us with when we went to San Clemente on the top and Chrissy Chrissy we need to go back to San Clemente by the way so we can do some new pictures. Yeah Chrissy has a beach house there her family has a beach house and we went there we can and we have a picture that our one friend made that I and every time I look at I'm like we need to go back.

24:41 Jackie: I know so and I know what you're gonna shout out for Jen the blankets she made us oh this last Christmas she handmade us all the big the big like the big thick chunky blankets yeah mine's like center of attention when you walk into my house on my little ladder and then I always like just so sweet.

24:58 Jennifer: Like she went to it was so sweet.

25:00 Jackie: Yeah that was probably the least because I just was traveling in so I probably didn't spend a lot of time at it but we don't expect gifts though like that one that Jen got made the fact that she took the time to make all four of us a blanket was pretty awesome. And they're beautiful and they're gorgeous yeah everybody I get compliments on it all the time. Oh and then my birthday this year you remember she did the flowers and stuff but she made me a homemade she's into making bread now oh that's right so and it was so good was it okay so I take it home I was gonna bring it the next day for something yeah and I could I started so I told my husband we're just gonna take a little taste of it you know check it out I ended up not bringing it because I ended up eating it all my husband and I ate it all we like started into the dip.

25:39 Jackie: I'm like well I had to go store to buy some other bread because you didn't you I couldn't handle it. We literally ate it all it was so good.

25:46 Jennifer: Well Dan whenever you feel like you'd send me some sourdough because it takes notes.

25:51 Jackie: Anyways let's go to Rapid Best T's question what is your friendship love language we've already said that so mine's what so I've decided it's quality and acts of service do something that's about for gifts are pretty good but I rather get like I said I rather give than receive but I do receive your guys is good.

26:09 Jennifer: Okay with you guys so don't stop um whoops let's see the next question is what's what's one way your bestie has shown up for you that you'll never forget I think all my friends um I've said this a million times I will say it a million times more um this gonna make me cry I know but you got this I got very good in high school it was really so meaningful for all you girls to never leave my side like never turned on me never made me feel bad so for me that is like I will forever ever be grateful for you.

26:48 Jennifer: We love you and we're proud of you look what you look what have you become I know if you didn't have supported me if you hadn't done that now I could have turned out too right so for me that's always gonna be so so meaningful for me because I don't think any of you I don't think anybody ever turned on me none of my friends at not only did you not turn on me you aggressively defended me to so many people of course that's what friendship's about especially the one that we had. Yeah I mean you're some people can't believe that my first roommate was with a kid the same that normal people would have normal girls would have I just had my child with me and you guys know you guys you just gotta get have the master bedroom because you needed more room but we left you I'm like why wouldn't I?

27:35 Jackie: That's I didn't even think twice about that. No you didn't not even twice. It was like let's go yeah let's go find a place that's big enough and we can all afford it yeah because it I mean it's way was a lot less back then but we weren't even making as much so it you know it all works out that way but it was and we were able to find a three bedroom so that our other girlfriend could come in and also and yeah she lived with us too much one of my best friends in this day as well.

28:00 Jennifer: Yeah that's that's for me what it was. And now my eyes are messed up and I have to reapply makeup before I get on a plane today. Okay so what's the love language it's hardest for you to give Jack do you have one? Hardest to give I don't know I'm sorry.

28:17 Jackie: I mean I do I could do it with my kids and my babies and all that but I mean if I was sitting here loving on you guys I think we'd all be feeling a little awkward.

28:25 Jennifer: There's a lot of friends that you know that are that way. They may probably lay in bed together watch TV and then they curl up with each other. You know what maybe that is a totally maybe that's okay.

28:35 Jackie: That's I mean I and I'm the one none of you want to sleep with again tonight I have been we're gonna take her clothes off top in bed with me and I'm like okay and that's not because I didn't awake I'm asleep.

28:52 Jennifer: And then I wake up and later and she's just in bed. That's a normal thing like she crawls in bed with me and we go to sleep. We're just sleeping but then I wake up in the morning she's back in her room so she must have at some point woken up figured out why am I over here I didn't get back in my bed.

29:03 Jackie: So weird you're like I think everybody is a lot of people take it as humor. It's like it's just funny what's she gonna do next well what's gonna happen tonight what was our one ghost trip and I think I went went into every single bed and you guys had given me my own bed Yeah you had four beds what yeah one no one two three beds right and like there was five of us so two people had to sleep together.

29:25 Jennifer: I think you were staying with Jen actually in the master bedroom or whatever that room was no I was I had the pullout bed.

29:31 Jackie: You guys gave me my bed by myself.

29:32 Jennifer: But Michelle was in that bed.

29:34 Jackie: Michelle ended up in that bed because I started going to the other beds.

29:37 Jennifer: I think it was Jen and Michelle that were together and then you and Chrissy or was it the other way around Chrissy was in that bed with me and then somehow Michelle ended up in the bed next to me in the on the thing. So maybe she moved?

29:49 Jackie: She moved because I went into your bed or went into their bed and there was too many people but then I ended up back into my bed.

29:57 Jennifer: You ended up in the bed with Chrissy and I. And then somebody left there was three beds and three of us were in one bed. I'm like how are you in our bed?

30:07 Jackie: So it's something I guess I am a little physical. I just don't know it. I'm like my sleep What's yours?

30:15 Jennifer: Um hardest language for you me to give I think you kind of do all of them. Physical touch too I think uh it's not that it's just at the least of my you know I'm kind of a rough and tumbly kind of girl and so it's probably not my it's the one that would be more I would be more aware of it I guess. The others are easy for me to do like I think so.

30:34 Jackie: So and it could be the non-sister things like at least for all of us with the f it's cool because we didn't have sisters where I think like my my daughters grew up together where they're very touchy and they sleep they always have to sleep in the bed together. They're very like that where I'm just like why? Go get there's more than enough beds. But my husband said they've always done that since they were little they were very like all over each other type thing.

30:56 Jennifer: So maybe that is it's maybe because we don't have sisters it could be. I mean I'm I'm not a therapist I'm just throwing it out I do have a sister I don't want to take away from that but she's like 11 years younger and I didn't grow up in the house with her.

31:08 Jackie: Right, yes and you love her we're not taking away from that for sure.

31:12 Jennifer: Anyways we want to challenge you to learn your besties love language. How can you show up for her this week in a way that she feels deep deep in the bones. We always invite you to look at these study them and then start testing each one out and maybe even asking hey how do you receive love? Like what do you I'm gonna give you a list of things that we can do which one would you prefer to do and see which one is actually the one that maybe she wants to do or the way she feels like study it because when you study somebody and you understand you'll study a husband how he likes it you'll study a you know boyfriend how he likes it whatever take some time with your best friend because the best friends are super important in most worlds.

31:47 Jennifer: So anyways that's our episode today if this episode hit you in the fills or made you laugh way too hard we consider that a witch be sure to subscribe leave a review and share it with your writer die.

31:56 Song: And when you're ready to make your friendship official book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com because the best love stories don't always come with a ring we stick together at a die to the moon and no amount of space could ever come between us two reuniting that we've never been apart and every single time we add an eye and heart to heart enough for this right for your made a big enough to that