When Friendships Break: How We Found Our Way Back

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer.

0:01 Jackie: And I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised.

0:04 Jennifer: For best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind testimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kindest soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:12 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy. The deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh till you snort stuff.

0:18 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

0:24 Jackie: Let's get slightly unsupervised.

0:26 Jennifer: So we want to talk about friendship breakups in this episode because Jackie and I have a history of being friends for a very long time. But there's about a 15-year gap there where we were not friends. We were never enemies, we were just not friends. Right. I think that um, and it happens in a lot of relationships.

0:43 Jackie: And there wasn't a breakup, and we just weren't friends. Yeah. So what we're trying to say is that things happen. Sure. And we make everything like we've been friends forever. But there there are times that friendships have a little breakup, and it's okay.

0:57 Jennifer: It's okay. And we want to share that story with you, with everybody, because if you have a breakup, if you have a friend that you were really close to and you loved and you lost contact with, or you just grew out of, or you just maybe you think the other one's mad at you, or something, and you've lost contact with them. That there's a way back to it. We we probably have 15 years from maybe 23 to 2038, our second or our 20-year class reunion. We got back together and started being in each other's face again.

1:28 Jennifer: And it took a while. It wasn't like, oh hey, Jackie, I haven't seen you. We're gonna be best friends again. That that took some time.

1:34 Jackie: And so we did have we did meet up in between at that time. Not that we were besties again, but we were it was like nothing happened. But we I had a bachelorette party for one of our mutual really good friends. And you came to that and it was at my home, and everybody stayed, and we had a great weekend. We did. And there was another time that it just a bunch of moms met up, I think after I think after that bachelorette party, and we kind of hung out and you came down with your boys, and right we did that, but we just didn't hang out like we did before.

2:05 Jennifer: Right. We had maybe moved on. I don't know if that's a good word. We just had different life experiences, and some of that was there were some things that maybe caused a little bit of us being disconnected by choices that either one of us made that we didn't agree with. I mean, I think that's fair that we were like, maybe I don't want to be so close to it. But also in the middle of that, we're having children, we're getting married.

2:32 Jackie: Yeah, life was going on at the same time. And I think at that age, like I I think we've talked about this before, but I think in your 20s, anyways, everybody's kind of going their directions, maybe getting married, having children. Moving, you moved out of state for a while to Arizona and then came back, and I was doing my thing. I was moving on, and maybe the person I was with, it wasn't you were both weren't fans of each other. So that kind of put a damper on the whole situation, too. Like, did I want to deal with him if you were around and you didn't want to deal with because even the times we did see each other in between, he was not there, he was not there, he was always to the side, but I still wanted to see you.

3:07 Jackie: Sure. But try not to, I didn't want to deal with that situation, I guess.

3:10 Jennifer: Yeah, because you've been in that situation for a long time.

3:13 Jackie: And I had made a choice, and yeah, of course.

3:15 Jennifer: You made your choice and and respect for that choice, that's your choice, or whatever. And it would have been a choice I would have made for you, but it was the choice that you made for yourself. And so I think that it's important to talk about that, that friendships can go through lulls. Friendships can have moments where you maybe disconnect. And it's important to understand that just because you've been not talking to somebody or you haven't, if you have a bond with that person and a strong bond, and you have a lot of history with that person, I feel like you can always find a way back to finding that connection again.

3:48 Jennifer: That's what it is. It's like finding that connection and being like, hey, wait a minute. We are really like, we talk about the same things, we get, we think the same things are funny, we have the same personality. It's fun to find again somebody in your life that's like that's an easy relationship for me. I it's not a lot of work to be friends with you because we have a lot of the same, similar ways of doing things or being we like to do the same veins, we like we think the same things are fun to do, we think the same things are funny.

4:17 Jackie: So it's like, let's see, years have passed, and we got my let's see. My think my son was a teenager, my youngest.

4:23 Jennifer: Yeah.

4:24 Jackie: And you would come out with one of your sons when he was older. And my son, after you left, couldn't, he's like, I I would swear you're like the same people. Like you guys talk the same, your animals are the same. Like, where has she been? Well, we had a little, like, we just didn't hang out for a while. But he just like when we were together, he just just thought it was so odd. I didn't he never saw me as a a friendship with anyone like that.

4:46 Jennifer: Right.

4:46 Jackie: But it was like we finished each other's sentences, like we talk and start laughing, and they're like, What are you guys laughing at? Well, you guys will never understand anyways. We we are not gonna tell you, but we know what the other one's about to say.

4:57 Jennifer: Right, exactly. And we finished and we were like, I have no idea what we just talked about. We're like, there was a whole conversation. Like, no, nobody said anything. We're like, I know we did.

5:06 Jackie: And I thought that was a compliment by my son. Yeah.

5:09 Jennifer: And that's somebody that hadn't been around me.

5:10 Jackie: So it wasn't like he had like seen me. I just showed up one time and I had never even said anything. You just came and talked, and then for him to say that when you left, I'm like, we were everybody used to say that. We were like the same people.

5:22 Jennifer: This is a great story because I went to our 30th, I think it was our 30th, but there's a girl that we went to high school with that was out, and I was talking with her with another friend of ours, and we were talking, and she's the the girl that um we talked to recently. She's like, Well, you know her. And she's like, Yeah, she's Jackie. And I'm like, I'm not Jackie. And she's like, Yeah, you're Jackie. And I'm like, no, I'm not Jen. I'm not Jackie. And she's like, What? Because I think like we kind of have like that bubbly, like I just apologized for our behavior yesterday because we had a friend that we went to high school come over yesterday with her daughter.

5:59 Jennifer: With her daughter, yeah. And I'm like, oh man, we're a lot of energy. You know what I mean?

6:03 Jackie: Like, we hope we didn't offend you or do anything.

6:06 Jennifer: We hope that whatever we said yesterday was appropriate, and we did not come at you because we can do that. I'm sure it's it can be intimidating if you hang out with us and you don't know us very well. Then it's like we don't finish a sentence, we just move on. I know what you're thinking, let's go do it. And like and you know that or whatever, and like people around us are just like bewildered because they're like, what just happened there? We're moving, we're like on to the next thing, and we're like, come on.

6:33 Jennifer: So um, but I think when you have a do have that relationship and you get back to it, uh, we want to make sure that we bring that up so that you know that disconnect happens, reconnection is a beautiful thing, and you know, it's one of those things that if you get a second chance to have a friendship with somebody that you were really very close to, and you can make that work, and it will take time, it doesn't happen overnight. We cannot just see each other one day and be like back to being best friends, right?

7:00 Jennifer: We had to reconnect with each other and retrust each other to be in that space, I think to catch up with each other and catch up. Yeah, you had a whole life that I had nothing to do with, and I had a whole life you had nothing to do with, and so we had to kind of come back.

7:14 Jackie: We both had new husbands.

7:16 Jennifer: We had left with one set of husbands and returned with another set, which was good, which was good because it probably wouldn't be back together if I was with my husband because obviously we didn't get along, so that was always gonna be an issue, and I wanted you I wanted better for you, at least in that. We went back to being friends, but it took some time, and there was somebody in your life that I didn't get along with, and that's not a big deal. It's just I wanted more, I think I wanted more for you because I know what a great human you are, and that you deserved to be treated like a princess or a queen, actually.

7:52 Jennifer: And um, maybe this person in your life I didn't feel like treated you in the way that I thought you should be treated. So I did have a problem with that.

8:00 Jackie: And I think the problem also the other way around was he didn't like how strong you did make me.

8:04 Jennifer: Correct. And I think that's true too. We are we are stronger together. Together. We are, and that's that's a beautiful thing because what's scares a lot of people scares a lot of people, right? Because we're like a force of age, we're like, oh my god, what happened there? But it's like there's a lot of friends like that. Yeah, but it's like you can't mess with her if I'm around, you know.

8:25 Jackie: And vice versa. And vice versa, yeah.

8:27 Jennifer: And that that goes with me too, because there was somebody in my life that was like that too, and we you did successfully run that one off. So that's when we were younger.

8:34 Jackie: But my immaturity.

8:36 Jennifer: Yes, the power of the two of us can be overwhelming for some people, and you're right, to separate us is to weaken the and you're right, you know, we just did rapid fire that I'm probably a little more blunt to say this is this and this is that, and you know, to stand on my convictions of what I think and not be real apologetic about it.

8:55 Jackie: That's probably intimidating. And that's that's changed because if you remember me, now I'm I don't like to have confrontation. And if when we first became friends, I had no problem with confrontation. You were the confrontation. I was the queen of confrontation, no problem. Right. But with age and I think parenting and all that, and trying to be for my kids to see me, I don't it's like I didn't want them to be that way. Right. You know what I mean? I'm not saying not to stick up for themselves.

9:19 Jackie: Of course I want them to do that. Just I would I don't know how to explain my confrontation. It was like it didn't matter to me.

9:26 Jennifer: It didn't.

9:27 Jackie: Yeah.

9:27 Jennifer: Like uh if you Yeah, you were you were the one not to mess with in uh yeah, and I'm not proud of it.

9:33 Jackie: It just it was it is what it was.

9:35 Jennifer: And it's okay.

9:36 Jackie: That's how we survived then.

9:37 Jennifer: That's how we survived, yeah. Yeah, it's a survival mechanism.

9:39 Jackie: Because we were the 80s, right? So if you weren't strong and independent and stuck up for yourself, you were gonna be you weren't gonna be a happy person.

9:46 Jennifer: No, you're gonna get run over, yeah, gobbled up and spit out and so I think that's true. And probably I learned to get more into my not con I would call confrontation, I don't know what the word is, as a I stand my ground pretty strong because I have been put in that situation um that I was forced to really fight for myself and for my sons and my life. And so um I also, you know, worked in a lot of places where females were we still are have a long way to go, girls, with getting ourselves in the right place, sometimes in work environments, especially corporate.

10:22 Jennifer: And the higher you climb, the harder it gets. So the higher you get in a corporate thing, the more they want to stick us back down into lower levels. So I have learned to fight for that.

10:33 Jackie: So be a little more blunt.

10:35 Jennifer: Be a little more blunt. It is what it is. So yeah, I I think I have come up in that and you calm down in that area. So that's a good thing. Like I said, you have it in you, and if we need it, you'll come get it comes out, you know.

10:48 Jackie: Watch out, world, because it could be a scary side. It's all been building up.

10:52 Jennifer: But I do want to go over one thing with you with this is an important part of our friendship, is that Jackie and I became friends again. We had a fallout, and I sent her a song that I said, this song reminds me of you.

11:03 Jackie: And every time I hear it, that's when I and the sentimental one. That's when that's when I always cry. Every time I hear that song, because it did make me feel like I was lost. And you saw that, but you as a friend, there was not much you can do because I wasn't gonna listen to you at that point. No, so you had to wait for me to come back.

11:21 Jennifer: I did, and that's what it did. Come back. And I was like, that's it. That is the reason for 15 years I didn't talk to you and I didn't know you.

11:28 Jackie: And we didn't fight, we weren't met, we didn't talk about each other. We've talked about this. Like we didn't weren't talking to people like, oh, I don't like her. And it we weren't that wasn't the the situation. It was just literally, we need to both go our own ways and figure things out. And if it's like like they say, if it's meant to be, it will come back.

11:43 Jennifer: And it did.

11:44 Jackie: And it did.

11:45 Jennifer: But I sent you that song, and I say to you now is that the reason I wasn't with you is because I was meant to remember who you used to be, and I didn't see you change.

11:54 Jackie: Country song, by the way.

11:55 Jennifer: It's a country song, yeah. Who is it for like I think it's Bryce Lee.

12:00 Jackie: Uh just that even my husband, every time he comes on, your song's on. Oh, that's it. Your song from Jen's on. I think he wants to see me cry. I know.

12:07 Jennifer: But the song basically is about used to be dirt, uh sound like gravel dirt road on the what is the I don't know if we're allowed to do that. I don't know if we're allowed to sing it that loud. Yeah, I think we're allowed to at least like recognize it. But basically it's to come back. Like you used to be like, you know, didn't give a crap what anybody thought, did what you play your music loud on a gravel rope, blah blah blah.

12:31 Jackie: What happened to you?

12:33 Jennifer: You cut your hair short, you didn't like your hair. Like all the things that I think that can happen when we try to please somebody and we change who we are. And so I'm anti that. Don't do that. Like, let people love you the way you are. If they don't love you, then let them go. You know what I mean? I'm more like that and convicted by that. But I said it to her and I said, you know, this is why I'm here because I know that's why we connected it is because I when that's not when people talk about her sometimes now, and I'm like, who?

13:02 Jennifer: And they're like, Yeah, Jackie, she's the sweetest thing on the planet. I'm like, what? And they're like, I am sweet. No, she really just turned it. But I was like, who are you talking about? And they're like, Jackie, and I'm like, there's no way we're talking about the same human. There's no way. So I always say it's okay that you're that way. In fact, your husband now, who's a whose darling that just loves you to death, and I am so happy for that and so pleased.

13:28 Jackie: I appreciate him too.

13:29 Jennifer: Yeah, bless that beyond belief. One time I remember in the backseat, we're driving somewhere, and he said, Oh, every time I say something, you're gonna say the opposite, or something like that, or you're gonna disagree. And I'm like, Yay, good for her. Like, good. She has her voice. That's what I want. You want to say what she wants. So, and you know, we get together and let's not argue with the two of us because you're gonna lose. So, but yeah, so that's we just wanted to touch base on that and to really be honest about that friendship breakups happen and that you can recover from them.

14:02 Jennifer: And we um we we we went down a long road and we came around. And so, you know, if you're sitting here thinking about somebody in your life that you really connected with and loved in your life and you've lost connection with them, you know.

14:19 Jackie: Don't think it yeah.

14:20 Jennifer: Don't think it's the end. You can always, you know, recover from that. And maybe it starts with, you know, a message to them on social media or something. That's the beauty of social media now is that we're back into each other's lives on a daily basis. You know, in school it was easy to keep track of each other because we were saw each other every day, but then you get out of school and then that's what social media does now. Social media is like going to high school again, all in the same room, and we can see what everybody's doing and keep connected.

14:49 Jennifer: So, you know, reach out to people. You never know. I mean, you could say that you maybe you forgot why you've you've lost contact with each other. Maybe you don't remember why you've lost contact and you think they just don't like you. This may not be the truth.

15:02 Jackie: Might just be what they're going through.

15:04 Jennifer: Right.

15:04 Jackie: Like it might just who knows.

15:06 Jennifer: Yeah. So you can always do it. And even if you do have some weird stuff between you, work through it a little bit. I think we we want to touch on that too in this this podcast that we're doing all things best friends is that we'd love to to connect with somebody who's maybe even having a friendship issue that doesn't know how to go about that. That maybe a new set of eyes on it or a new set of ears on it could be helpful to people that know we hope that people will reach out and be like, hey, I have a friend that I lost contact with, and here's our backstory.

15:33 Jennifer: If you've done something terrible to that human, I don't know if you can recover from that. I think that you have to be honest about that in some regard, that an apology is always something you should give somebody if you have done something terrible to somebody and that you feel remorseful for, that you always owe somebody an apology, whether they're gonna accept it or not. I don't know if that really matters. I really feel like if time has done what time has done and you've grown up and you've looked back and you've really said, Man, I was not a good person in that res relation or that situation or whatever, and you feel remorse for that.

16:05 Jennifer: If nothing else, apologize for it and at least get that off of your chest. Um and that person, if you've really hurt that person, I don't know if you can really recover from that. But if you've just lost contact with somebody, I feel like the world will forgive.

16:22 Jackie: Right. If you're missing them, go for it.

16:24 Jennifer: Yeah, and just reach out.

16:26 Jackie: Okay, we're we're proof.

16:27 Jennifer: Yeah, we're proof that it can happen.

16:29 Jackie: And it wasn't really social media, although it was helpful because it was actually you're talking about school, it was actually going back to reunions or and like bachelorette party, like just mutual things happening in our lives. And we didn't say, Oh, I'm not gonna be there because of that person, but we like I said, we never had a huge fight, it was just we needed to go our own ways and figure things out and then come back together. That's true, is what we kind of figured out.

16:53 Jennifer: But we did, but that that's true. Like when you can get back into the space with somebody and you know you still love you and still enjoy them, and you're like, ah, laughing and then you know, going off or whatever. And it's not that we didn't have other friends, we did. Jack and I have other friends, yes, we have groups of friends, but that's still enough to bring that connection back to say that was a special enough connection with somebody that I wouldn't want to lose that person, especially as you get older.

17:15 Jennifer: And we've talked about that as you get older, y'all. Y'all need your girlfriends. Yep. I don't care what anybody says, you need your girlfriends because your life is going to be complicated and there's going to be a lot of life events. Your kids move on with their lives, and you move on with your life, and you got nothing else to do.

17:33 Jackie: Things happen. Yeah. You have health issues, you have things that happen in the family. Just putting the throwing some things out there that we've dealt with.

17:40 Jennifer: But I mean, you really are you've got to lean back on some really special people in your life. So the age and you groups, and we're gonna talk about in another segment about the different age groups and what friends mean at those age groups, because we're only at 55. So we can only give you to this point what they mean, and right and imagine how it grows when you grow old. But you know, I know when my grandmother was eight years old, she only had girlfriends because they had all lost. Everybody lost their husbands.

18:08 Jennifer: So we it's important to like I said, you don't get a connection with everybody. It's harder to make friends when you get older.

18:13 Jackie: Oh, definitely.

18:14 Jennifer: Because you're not in the same space, right? Not all the time. It's not like, hey, I saw you yesterday, and now today we're hanging out again. Like I saw you six weeks ago, and how are you? Like, you know what I mean? Like it's hard to connect, like around that stuff, unless you're, I don't know, neighbors or friends of Yeah, but then you have neighbors and you might have neighbors like us and they're all in their 30s.

18:33 Jackie: Yeah, we may we've made friends, they're great, but we can't keep up with them.

18:37 Jennifer: We gotta go to bed.

18:38 Jackie: Really? Yeah, so it's fun, but it's just a different friendship, too. They have their own friendships in their 30s and 40s, where you know, we're in their 50s, right? You know, it's just a different idea. The old people or the old people. They're like, Oh, we're the ones that they call parents. So we're like, What?

18:55 unknown: The parents.

18:57 Jennifer: They're like, you should fight the elderlies down the street. They're always kind of fun. We're always fun. Fun little group to get together. I mean, they're gonna go to bed early, but that'll be fun to come on over. Yes, a little bit. What? She's a really good cook, so we can invite her over d'oeuvres. She makes some good stuff. But yeah. So um, but anyway, so that's just kind of part of it is that we want to touch base, though. We were not best friends, we weren't best friends this entire time that we've been friends, but we weren't unfriends, we just weren't close friends, and now we're back to being best friends again.

19:29 Jennifer: And that's a beautiful gift and something that I treasure.

19:33 Jackie: Yeah. And it's been wonderful with this whole bestimony thing that you started up for us to kind of tell each other now those things that we didn't say all those years and how we felt about each other. Um, and now, like I was saying, you build me up now, but when we were younger, it didn't happen that way. Right. No one built us up. We we were talked about this not too long ago. But, anyways, and when we were growing up, our parents didn't sit and build us up. I mean, they yes, yeah, we're great.

19:57 Jackie: Oh, we're proud of you, blah, blah. But not like what what what we've learned through the years. Right. Where we have like a five group, five of us in a and a best friendship that we've had, like she was saying since high school. We've all we build each other up. If someone's down, it's like, oh my gosh, you're the best person. I mean, I never had that before with anybody else. You guys are the only group of friends that I've ever had that with.

20:19 Jennifer: Really? Yeah. Like, get up, you've got this, you gotta shove you out back in the road, like heads. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah.

20:27 Jackie: And the things that you said to me when we did our ceremony, I just like I said, you you make me feel prouder of myself than I ever have. I mean, besides like my husband or my kids make me feel proud, but it's just a different type of proud. Like you bring back because you watched me grow up.

20:42 unknown: Right.

20:42 Jennifer: Exactly.

20:43 Jackie: They didn't watch me grow up. My second husband wasn't around. My kids weren't there. They don't know, just what they hear. And I mean, even this, we're starting to put this podcast and this best one. You're gonna do what? Are you sure, Mom? We can do this. We can do with these. We're just talking about I mean, that's all we do. Like, talk about talking to everybody about it, telling people. I mean, we're not perfect. No one's perfect. And we we made this that, and bear with us with these podcasts.

21:08 Jackie: We're like, this is new. We're trying it out. Give us ideas, right? You know, whatever you think, but we're just throwing it out there now to explain to you we're normal. We're normal. We're not trying to act like, oh, we've had the best friendship forever. And even when we did our ceremonies with all those women when we first put best money out there. I mean, a lot of some of them were just a short time with friendships. You also had the sisters that didn't talk for years that all of a sudden came.

21:32 Jackie: I mean, those were cool stories. Those were stories that, you know, everybody makes it sound so perfect. You know, it's kind of like everybody says, oh, like the mom that oh makes the house all perfect, makes everything perfect in the family. People try to do that in friendships too. Right. And they don't tell the truth of what we went through shit. Sorry, I don't I don't usually swear, but we went through she can swear I'm not. But you'll let me, I'll throw a few out.

21:56 Jennifer: You're right. Those there's some really beautiful stories in in the Definitely. And those things, and about Bonnie and Brenda, which I know we can say their names because they're out there, they're on YouTube, they're on our our YouTube. Bonnie and Brenda were sisters, and they they grew up hating each other, and then now they're like the best best friends, and they have the best time. I mean, they really do. They do they will bring a smile to your face. If you ever get a chance to watch theirs, you should definitely do it.

22:19 Jennifer: They're on their 60s tour and they uh they are cute. They are cute and they they are fun. I remember at the end when we were filming, it's cute because uh Bonnie is a little shit starter. Rich is kind of nice. Bonnie's more like me, like a little shit starter or whatever. And she's like, she's like, I'm like, what are you doing? We're getting ready to film. She's like, I'm trying to join Sach. I'm like, what? It's like the you know, the actors together they get a vote. Like, you're not in the movies, like we're doing a YouTube thing here.

22:52 Jennifer: She was just funny. I just always remember that. That was super cute. Um yeah, so we have put out best friendships, they are on our bestie Monies um YouTube channel. There are eight solid friendship stories there that will put a smile on your face.

23:08 Jackie: It's a little different than what we're doing at the chapel now, right? But it was that was the way to that was the intro, kind of intro into what we wanted to start out to do. And so you have back background stories where they sit down and then they actually go in and do their ceremonies. So what we're doing at the chapel is actually doing the ceremonies, and it's uh just so people understand if they go to that. And we've done, she's done quite a few now. And I finally got to see one yesterday, and it was incredible.

23:35 Jackie: That's right. These people drove 1800 miles. One came from Utah to pick up the ones in Colorado. It was a two girls with their husbands and um women. Sorry, I shouldn't call them girls, sure. They're women. And they drove all the way here, and they planned this was their Christmas gift to each other was to come and do a ceremony. And I mean, it was tearful. It was great. And we had a girlfriend from high school that we said was here. She was here visiting her daughter in Nashville, and um, it brought her to tears.

24:00 Jackie: Right. It was just, and that she said, This is at first the husbands were like, I we couldn't believe they want to do this. They're kind of making their jokes. And at the end, they were they thought it was beautiful. Right. They were crying. Men were husbands, and if you saw these men, they are not ones you think would be crying. So it is.

24:15 Jennifer: It's more powerful than you think. It's a beautiful thing to do. And and I'm just so proud of us for bringing this to light. And I know people will will mimic us. Which we do.

24:25 Jackie: We have some that are, but but some of the copies I've seen is not we want we want this more serious. Yes. This is serious to us. This is not the come and it's a joke, but we we're trying to make this more of a um from the heart, how you feel, like really share a good ceremony.

24:44 Jennifer: Give it its rightful place in your life to say, uh, this girl makes and you know, a beautiful thing about yesterday when the husbands were there is that the support that they gave for these women to do that. Uh, you know, they drove them here. They drove them 1800 miles to get here to do that and to be supportive of it because they recognize in that that their relationship with those girls was important to them, and that they're like, Well, here's two guys to get ready to watch their two wives get married.

25:12 Jackie: So it's and their story was interesting too. They did not start out as friends. No, they didn't, they did not like each other. So, I mean, we've we we want to hear everybody's stories. Exactly.

25:21 Jennifer: Everybody has a story. Yes, it's they're beautiful stories, and they should not be held for just you to know because are you sharing it with your your family? Like, do you know? Like, you know, we have now we can share with our families about how we were close friends. And like you said, they didn't see us grow up together, so they don't know. But what a nice thing to go back and listen and be like, Oh my god, my mom was a hood rat. Like great.

25:43 Jackie: My mom was a car thief, she still cars.

25:46 Jennifer: Like, well, we weren't perfect, but that's a beautiful thing for your child to know, too, is that you weren't perfect, right? Yes. I was a child at some point too, and that was that's what I did. So yeah, so I'm super proud of us. We've got this festival thing up and running, and it's time for our rapid fire questions as we end this episode. I'll go first. Ghosted or confronted. What's worse? That's you. Ghosted or confronted.

26:10 Jackie: Ghosted or confronted? Me? Uh I mean, do I ghost or do I confront?

26:15 Jennifer: No, do you asking you which one is worse do you think? To be ghosted or confronted.

26:19 Jackie: Oh, by who? By my friend?

26:21 Jennifer: By your friends, yeah.

26:22 Jackie: Okay. Ghosted. I'd rather be if you're my friend, I want you to confront me now at this point in my life. Right. I mean, even though I don't like confrontation, but I'd rather get it out and get it done with.

26:32 Jennifer: Well, I think that you can solve the confrontation. I don't think you can necessarily uh get a if you're just being ghosted, then no one's talking to you and there's no real resolution.

26:44 Jackie: So the next one. Ever looked at an ex-besties social media just to check in?

26:50 Jennifer: A lot of like besties from like grade school that I was friends with, and I'm like, oh my god, what are you doing? Like that was one of the most beautiful things I think for um for that to come about. Because I I uh obviously I grew up in the mountains with y'all, but before that I was in Orange County and I had a whole other set of friends.

27:12 Jackie: So um to try to find them and find out what they're doing and like But see back then, I think when we're friendship started back up, wasn't that MySpace?

27:21 Jennifer: I don't know. I was never on MySpace.

27:22 Jackie: But then then Facebook, right?

27:24 Jennifer: I only started with Facebook. I never had a MySpace.

27:27 Jackie: A MySpace. I had a MySpace only because another, like a younger girl, when I divorced, she set me up on a MyS. Everybody sets me up. My son sets me up on Instagram and TikTok and all that. But she sent me on a put me on a MySpace. But then I think it when reunions we started to do more reunions, when we kind of caught back up, that would have been my 20, right? That's when Facebook was coming along. And that's when we started. So I I probably yeah, I'm I'm sure I really uh now I don't feel like I have time to do that, but I definitely probably did back then to be on Facebook, check it up on people.

28:00 Jackie: You do just be honest.

28:01 Jennifer: Okay, here's what would you rather block them or pretend you're unbothered on social media?

28:06 Jackie: Just act unbothered. I mean, unless they're doing something against me or my children or my family, but I wouldn't just ignore them.

28:14 Jennifer: You snooze them. There's a lot of snooze snooze for 30 days.

28:18 Jackie: I wouldn't even know how to do the snooze. Okay, your friendship breakup anthem. So maybe when we broke up, did we have an anthem? Uh no, I don't know what that would be. These questions are inner we have a friendship song.

28:30 Jennifer: I mean, like Ed oh, by the way, how come there's no friendship songs? You girls need to get on this. We have been try we have been trying to find them. When we were doing bestimonies, we need friendship songs. We have one, a girl that wrote one or did a song. It's a beautiful song. There's not a lot of girl songs out there. We need more. Yeah, you guys need to work on that. That's a uncharted area. We need more girl songs that talk about friendship in general. So this is a shout out to all of you songwriters, songwriters, and girls.

28:59 Jennifer: Do more of them because really and truly we all have the same song because there's like two songs out there. So no, I don't know if we can talk about the songs who they were written by, but there's like one song that's very popular in the country world.

29:11 Jackie: Yeah, we're finding out what we're allowed to say and not say.

29:14 Jennifer: Uh but anyways, we need more. I researched it long and hard, and there's not many songs. Okay, the pettiest reason you ever distance yourself from somebody.

29:23 Jackie: Ooh, pettiest.

29:24 Jennifer: You don't like the way they I don't know.

29:27 Jackie: I don't think I've ever done that to anybody. The pettiest.

29:30 Jennifer: You've distanced yourself from somebody who was like, oh my god, I don't like the way they their toes look or something. There's gotta be some reason like Really?

29:36 Jackie: Well, what can you come up with? I think for sure I could come up with something that you have.

29:40 Jennifer: I think it's petty. I don't I'm an energy person, so if I don't like your energy, I don't like your energy.

29:44 Jackie: And I'm not really one to I hate I hate shit sters. Yeah. I hate people. I've gotten, I'm sorry, I shouldn't use hate. I dislike people. Well, I guess I hate them too. I just don't want to be around them. People who you could just tell they're always trying to like make trouble. Like they're talking about this person across the street or this, you know what I mean? They're always trying to start, oh, did you know they did this? You know what? I can find out myself. I don't need you to tell me. Right.

30:10 Jackie: Those are the people I don't like to be around. They they try to make everything look bad.

30:14 Jennifer: Yeah. And I think as you get older too, it's a good lead on to that.

30:17 Jackie: Is that it's like they want you to be their friend, but don't be their friend because they're doing this.

30:20 Jennifer: That is you get older, you go, I'll decide on my own if I like these persons. Yeah. Yeah. But that's I'm going back to what I said is I don't like your energy, I don't like your energy. Right. You guys have some friends that we've met that through you.

30:31 Jackie: Oh, yes.

30:32 Jennifer: And immediately I'm like, I don't like them. You're like, we're all friends. We're like, yeah, I don't like her. I'm not really a big fan, not like her, I don't want to be around her.

30:40 Jackie: That was that was probably the last uh girls' trip that we had that we actually joined other girls in a trip. We usually do a trip with five of us and we never have any problems. And we actually did this one camping trip with a bunch of other groups of girls and that or women. I keep saying we're girls, whatever. Um, and yes, never done that again. We learned our lesson. And you were the one that said you weren't even too hip about doing it. I was no good, and she was no good. And ever gotten back together with a friend after a breakup.

31:10 Jackie: Right. Here we go. This is that was an easy one. We've been talking about that this whole thing. That's what this whole segment's about. Yeah.

31:17 Jennifer: Again, if you've done something really shitty, I don't know if you can do it. But if you guys just lost contact, there's always hope. Okay. Text her in person when ending a friendship.

31:25 Jackie: Text. I'm just being honest. Or I just wouldn't do anything. Just add ghost. Ghost. I'd ghost. I'm going back to the ghost. Because I just don't want to deal. I mean, unless it's something you've done really bad to me.

31:38 Jennifer: Right.

31:38 Jackie: But if it's just something, I at this point I don't know if I don't think that would happen, though, with me. Just if it's just somebody I just like we're saying, bad energy. You just don't want to be around them. But if it's good friends, it wouldn't happen.

31:49 Jennifer: Oh, you'd get through it. You'd confront each other and talk.

31:51 Jackie: Yeah. Oh, that's it's kind of they some of these are open-end kind of questions. But sorry, they're throwing them at us and we're just answering them. Later you can start giving us your questions. Sure. We'll answer. And then if you're on here, you can answer them. Okay. So one red flag and a friendship you'll never ignore again.

32:07 Jennifer: That energy for me. That energy for me, for sure. Uh I trust my instincts really well now. And I am uh 100% certain that when I don't like somebody, that it's it's not because I am being judgmental. I don't like their energy. I'm probably more like an empath. It's probably why I cry a lot. But um, because I feel people's emotions. That's why I love this best of money thing. Like, I love it because it's like all the energy of love together. I I own a wedding chapel, so I'm in the love world all the time.

32:38 Jennifer: And like you can feel love. I can feel it. When it's coming towards me, I can feel it. And people think, oh, how do you feel it? I'm like, I just can't. So the best of money thing for me is is super powerful because it's it's pure love. Like, I you don't have to tell me you guys love each other. I know you love each other. I can feel that. So that's a great space to be in all the time, like in this love level of people coming in. And not everybody loves each other. Like you've got to convince me sometimes people love each other.

33:03 Jennifer: Maybe why I wasn't so convinced with other people that have been in our lives about them being good for us or not, because I don't feel that love. Instinctually I feel it.

33:11 Jackie: So and you're pretty good at it.

33:13 Jennifer: Yeah, I can I can I I gotta give you kudos there.

33:19 Jackie: I don't really I guess my red flags, I mean, you pretty much answered the red flag situation. Yeah. Just somebody who's bringing me down. Yeah, yeah. I've had that in my life, and I just let it and I always made excuses for them to do it. And but instead of building me up, right, and I would I'd do it. I just decided that's a red flag.

33:35 Jennifer: Somebody loves you, yeah, for sure. A hundred percent rolls out of my mouth so easily. You are perfect the way you are. But anyways, building you up is something when you are have a real friend in you, and we talked about this with some of the people that um you were friends with and I went when I was around, is that it should come naturally. I don't have a problem telling you, but I want you to feel the best you can possibly feel. I will pump you up and make you feel powerful because you should.

34:04 Jennifer: You deserve that. You are those things. When I say things about that to you, I'm true, I wouldn't say it otherwise. I can guarantee you that. I'm not telling you things that I don't think like if you told me I was a great cook, I'd be like, you were so like.

34:17 Jackie: I'm the cook, everybody. If that was a question that was thrown out there, I'm the cook, obviously.

34:22 Jennifer: So that is so easy for me to tell you what a great person you are and what a great human you are. And that's the true if you have a friend like that, then that's uh that's the kind of friendship that you should hold on to.

34:33 Jackie: It's just trying to make me emotional now, people and it depends on age, you know what I mean.

34:36 Jennifer: A 20-year-old, we weren't pumping each other up. But at 55, you betcha. You're gonna get the best of what I think about you, and and it's truthful.

34:44 Jackie: Thank you. All right. Well, everyone, we're gonna end that there. If this episode hit you in the feels or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

34:55 Jennifer: Be sure to subscribe and leave a review and share it with your ride or die. And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

35:03 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

35:27 Song: Reuniting's like we've never been apart, and every single time we're out of eye and heart to heart.

35:47 Song: There's not enough for the spray.