Bestie Blessings: Why Every Husband Should Celebrate His Wife’s Ride-or-Die

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer. And I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised, where best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind bestimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

0:11 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh to you snort stuff.

0:16 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet. You're in good company.

0:21 Jackie: Let's get slightly unsupervised.

0:23 Jennifer: Today's episode is Bestie Blessings: why every husband should celebrate his wife's ride or die. In this episode, we're going to dive into one of the most overlooked dynamics in a relationship. Your wife's best friend. You might see her as a sidekick or a fun friend, but behind the scenes, she's often the emotional backup quarterback. From talking to your wife off the ledge and helping her process hard moments, the bestie does work that keeps your marriage strong. Today we're unpacking how the bestie doesn't compete with the husband, but compliments the relationship by showing up in ways and making everything run smoother.

0:54 Jennifer: It's time for men to not only tolerate the bestie, but celebrate her. Kicking off on the usual laughs, plus a nod to the husbands who low key know they owe a bestie a thank you. Women carry so much um so much on their shoulders. The career, the aging parents, the relationship. Sometimes she just needs somebody who isn't you to help her breathe. That is so true, isn't it? When you're battling the world together, um you just need an outlet. Sometimes that's part of the benefit of a best friend, a girl best friend, because she can listen without you having to listen to her your wife again for the 14th time about the same subject.

1:35 Jennifer: So I always think that the w husband overlooks the bestie um as a real person that helps his wife sort of deal with life on life's terms when he kind of gets tired of listening to her, you know.

1:52 Jackie: Not an example, like you say about your husband. My husband, yes, all of your stuff that you like to come to me to talk because you said because he hears it all the time. Right. So, and it's not that's just how our husbands are. That's how men work. Right.

2:06 Jennifer: They can only take like listen to so much where we men can generally listen one time and they tell you the solution, and then they don't want to talk about it anymore because they are not, you know, women will drag they're not programmed that way. They're not programmed that way. Women will drag it out of the closet, talk about it again, put it away, something will trigger it. We so we pull it back out of the closet and talk about it again until you know. Sometimes women just have to talk about it until they have talked it out.

2:33 Jennifer: I think that's true. I don't think there's a time limit on things.

2:36 Jackie: I think that we just not talking, we're not talking about the bad stuff, I'm also talking about the good stuff. Sure. There's like, you know, like your business you're trying to do right now. I'm sure that's all you that's all you're 24-7. Right. With all of this. Right. So I'm your like person that you can talk to besides him.

2:53 Jennifer: Right. I can call you and be like, blah, blah, blah.

2:56 Jackie: And I can come out and help you. Right. And I can always tell he appreciates it when I come. Of course he does.

3:01 Jennifer: Because he's like, oh my God, take over this monster of my wife who has, you know. He loves you. But yeah, but he's still, I mean, I have a my husband is shout out to my husband because he has really the most, he's one of the most talented guys I have ever come across. I mean, he can do just about everything. Like, he could fix anything, he could fix my car, he could fix all my stuff at the chapel. And believe me when I tell you this, that I have a t a project at that chapel 24-7.

3:32 Jackie: Yes, I come out there and it's 24-7.

3:35 Jennifer: 24-7. I am doing this, that, or the other thing. So shout out to him because I'm sure that it can be very tiresome. So I guess he gets like that break when you come to visit because at that point I'm no longer focused on what he needs to do to help me. I'm like, oh, Jackie's here, so she'll help me. She'll we'll do our other stuff.

3:54 Jackie: Yeah, we'll do all other stuff. We'll focus on that when Jackie leaves.

3:57 Jennifer: She'll be like, Yes, Jackie, please come. I know. Plus, then she comes and she'll help cook and she kind of takes the having to listen to my stuff all the time away from Rob for a while. So shout out to Rob. He's a he's really is a talented human, but his talents, you know, are also his greatest thing that makes him a pain and that makes me a pain in his rear end because I know his talents and I know what he can do. And so I'm always, you know, uh, we'll take that project on. My husband can do that when he's like, that's not my project, that's your project.

4:28 Jackie: So that's a career part. Yeah. And then the the parents, it's always good to have us because we've all kind of grown up together. We're we're an odd group that we've known each other so long. Everybody's always so surprised about that. Right. But we can talk about our parents, and we've all, I mean, yes, our husbands have been there since you married him or whatever, but it it's there there's just a thing about the women talking to each other about their parents. Right.

4:50 Jennifer: And how they were when we grew up, right?

4:53 Jackie: So it's not like uh taking you from I'll tell them certain things like that, that couldn't have happened.

4:58 Jennifer: And you call me, I'm like, oh yeah, remember that.

5:01 Jackie: It's not a bad thing, but it's like a thing where I feel I think all of us feel like we can call each other and just we're just venting. We're not saying anything bad. It's just I'm sure my kids eventually it's gonna be the same thing. They're gonna be calling each other or calling their best friends for venting. Yeah. Especially my one son, my youngest son, because all of his best friends were always at our house and they knew us. So anything he talks about is like, oh yeah, I remember Rick and your mom.

5:25 Jackie: Oh yeah.

5:26 Jennifer: Exactly. Yeah, I think that that's true. That um that's the blessing of having friends for so long is that we were in the trenches together as children with these parents that were telling us what to do. And then now that we've gotten a little older, you know, we get different perspective on it and we can but we still could call each other and discuss the parental units and all the things they do that irritate us. They're generally the same things that they irritated us when they were we were kids too.

5:53 Jennifer: So we can be like no one's perfect, right? Yeah, sorry. But we can also give perspective, right? Because we're like, yeah, well, yeah. Because we know in the younger years, yeah, exactly. So it's definitely take some heat off the husband. I'm I'm telling you, men, I don't know, Jack, your husband's pretty good about being pretty talkative. My husband is very non-talkative, so you can definitely really hash out things with your husband, which is great. I mean, that's a that's a blessing for you. But my husband just generally doesn't want to talk.

6:22 Jennifer: So sometimes that could be easier. I know, right? He doesn't say anything and your husband always keeps talking. We're like, I like being around Rick because Rick talks. I'm like, what do you think? And he has an opinion. I'm like, oh my god, keep telling me, Rick. Tell me what it is you think because I'd love to get a perspective on that. Right?

6:37 Jackie: Yeah. And what we're lucky about is that all of our husbands get along. Yeah, that's true. Our of our best friend group. Yeah, we're talking about the two that we're talking about, our husbands. But I mean, all of us when all we had a 50th um birthday. It was during COVID. Yeah, it was during it. Um and we actually got an Airbnb up in uh was it Pesup? Pasas Passar Robos. Pass up Robos, and it was beautiful. I had a pool, jacuzzi, huge backyard. And luckily we were able to go to the brewery fire with Firest Firestone.

7:05 Jackie: Oh yeah, the Firestone Brewery.

7:08 Jackie: Yeah, but remember that and then that that was the two days that we did, and then the next Monday everything closed back up again. So they let they let up a little bit. So it was just like you had the girls over here, the guys over there. Yeah, that's true. And there was time we were all together, like, you know, but but all the guys can sit and talk and we can talk, so we appreciate that too. Yeah, that's true.

7:28 Jennifer: We don't have the uh they don't we don't have any that are just like things, the clingings, or they just don't want to go or Yeah, but they they put up with a lot. Also, it was during COVID, so everybody was looking for it out to go anywhere besides stay home because we were so it made me feel like they do celebrate the fact that every all of our husbands showed up.

7:47 Jackie: Yeah, they celebrate us, yeah, all as a group. Yeah.

7:50 Jennifer: I don't think any of those husbands maybe chad, I don't know, but maybe Chad, but it would be like, Oh, you have to come to my birthday party with all my dude friends, like you know what I mean? Like you become part of that. You have that a little bit. Your husband has a group of friends that you go do stuff with that is their wives, you get along with their wives, but yeah, I don't I mean Chrissy with with Chad. Chad, I think Chad has a set of friends that Chris goes and hangs out with, but I think Michelle and Pete can have mutual friends.

8:15 Jackie: Michelle and Pete have the same friends, and then Jen and Mike kind of have all the mutual friends. They do, yeah.

8:20 Jennifer: They're mutual. Rob's the only one that doesn't have any friends. No, he really is my friend. My husband is his friend. I don't, but I mean like he's an an introvert, so he doesn't have like And I think he admits that. Yeah, oh he does. Like he likes his quiet time, so um that's so funny. Yeah, I don't have to deal with anybody else because there's no other it just doesn't we don't have that problem. You're lucky sometimes, anyways. That's just part of it. So, you know, and then just there's a lot of career stuff that goes on too, right?

8:49 Jennifer: We talk about that, so helping our husbands, their careers, and that kind of stuff. So we can also give perspective. I know a lot of times, like, you know, with you and Rick or something, I give you perspective on how that's going or how I feel like that bugs them down or something, you know, just like where I'm always like we have grandchildren.

9:06 Jackie: Yeah. And so he wants to see the grandchildren. Right. So it's like I have to make sure sometimes that because I watch them off and off, you know, I gotta make the effort to make them to come to our house so they get for us to go so he can see them because he's working so much. Yeah, and he even says it, he always says he has nothing to worry about but just work. Yeah, and he loves I take everything, right? Which is a blessing. Anything. And and he says that because it's that's what's made him climb up the ladder.

9:33 Jackie: Right. Because he has nothing else to worry about, nothing else to focus on, right? Except, you know, me when he's done working. Right.

9:39 Jennifer: But yeah, oh my gosh, he was like I said, or you know, like this superstar housewife. Like I would take you, I'd be like, look, I'm not really betting on that side, but I might.

9:50 Jackie: And I'm sure I know he appreciates that I call you an invent instead of inventing to him a shirt. Yeah. Because it's like that's the last thing he needs to hear. Because he's and it's mine. Oh, she's supporting me, she's so happy. Yes, she wants to do this. And sometimes I'm like, I don't want to do it. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to watch around. I want a day to lay in bed and relax. Just do nothing. I know. Uh I want a chill day. And it's nothing against my grandchildren at all. It's just we've been there, done that raised the kids, and now I feel like we've gotten to a point that we need to be start just relaxing at times.

10:24 Jackie: You know what I mean?

10:25 Jennifer: Yeah, you tell me that quite a bit. Chill, woman. Relax a little bit. I know. I will. Someday I will chill. And then you'd be like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm chilling.

10:33 Jackie: I I wonder if you'll chill a little bit when your grandmaby comes.

10:36 Jennifer: Maybe. We'll see. I mean, I don't know. I can't. But you're starting all this this podcasting stuff.

10:41 Jackie: So and you're so busy with your chapel too. And we got the bestimonies going now, too. That's true. So I can see it, but I can also see you backing off and maybe trying to find someone to help you closer, also. Maybe.

10:53 Jennifer: A little bit of a control freak, so we'll see all that works out. It's gotta be done the way I like to be done too. So, anyways. But yes, we do take a lot of emotional, sort of the emotional need for the bestie and kind of take that some on so that he doesn't have to really deal with some of that, which in a bet is better because women generally like, you know, we deal with the relationships the same way. So we do like to talk over and over again. So that's always a the good thing.

11:19 Jackie: So the real role of the bestie, she's a safe place to fall apart, vent, cry. Oh, I can tell you I cried so many times, my besties. Or laugh until you snore. She's the one, and that's what we've been doing this week. She's the one who says, You're not crazy when the world makes you feel like you are. Yeah. And I know I know my husband appreciates you for that. I bet. Yeah. Because there, I mean, he he he wants he's a fixer too. Sure. He always wants, what can I do to fix it? And he even his biggest thing is he'll ask something, can I what can I do to help you?

11:50 Jackie: I'm fine. Yeah. That's a formal letter word.

11:53 Jennifer: Well, but too, but like, let's say you do get frustrated because you do, right? And it's like it's just life. It's just life.

11:59 Jackie: And yeah, I think everything's perfect. It's not.

12:01 Jennifer: I know, but it's like life gets to you, and what you just need to do is like call your bestie for like 15 minutes and be like, vent it all out, say it all, and she agrees with you, and she reach you on, and then you go back to your life and you're okay because you feel like you've been heard. And sometimes you can't vent to your husband because some of that is like personal to him. So you're like, you don't have an outlet for that, right? Right.

12:24 Jackie: And sometimes if he feels like he can't fix it, right, and it's something so to with you guys, right? Sorry, my best friends, all of you, right? I feel and I'm the biggest one, I'll admit, I'm the one that's and call people, all of you more and cry. Yeah. But I'm the crier. Right. And I said I'm farther along this menopause thing than all of you are. I think getting to the end. Is there an end? Uh it's supposed to be. Remember one point. Remember when you guys were kind of starting? I'm like, I think I'm getting in.

12:50 Jackie: I'm I'm feeling better. Oh. I swear the emotional part just because I never really got the real emotional. Oh, so now you're feeling. I think I'm at that point right now where everything is just like commercial. Any stupid, like someone could just look at me. It's like I felt like was my ex-husband.

13:08 Jackie: You're just a trauma mode. Look, and it's like, what? Right. So, anyways, I know that's a a big one.

13:15 Jennifer: Also that you're not crazy. I mean, yeah. It's nice to have somebody call and be like, no, I would be that way too. I'd feel that way too. Hell yeah, that's the way I feel. So you're right, you're right. And you don't even take that back to the person. You just go, I'm not crazy and go back to the world.

13:29 Jackie: And I love it because usually by the time like when I talk to you, and I like the other girls too. By the time we're usually dealt with our conversations, we're laughing. Laughing, right.

13:38 Jennifer: We start out where I'm crying. Right. And then we go to laughing.

13:41 Jackie: And then it's laughing, but then I'm off. I'm like, okay, I'm better.

13:43 Jennifer: I'm better. Right, exactly. And he's like, oh good. That was a crisis I had to let somebody else handle for me right now.

13:48 Jackie: Well, and sometimes it wasn't there because he's trapped my husband's foundation.

13:51 Jennifer: He does trouble. Yeah, I agree.

13:53 Jackie: So I'm just saying my part of it, admitting my part.

13:56 Jennifer: Sure. But the bestie does help. I mean, you know, she benefits the husband because he can you imagine that he you only had him, you'd have to tell him everything. Poor guy. All the time. So, anyways, the moment she walks out of the wine bar FaceTime to call to get lighter, it's the bestie's magic that really works. The real examples of how your best friend helps you marriage more than you think, which we just were talking about. Like when you're in a bad mood or you're in a bad place in your head, and then you call your best friend, and then they walk you off the ledge or then make fun of you, and then you start laughing and you go, Okay, life isn't sometimes I think we can get in our heads like it's it's a very serious situation here.

14:32 Jennifer: I don't know if we're gonna be able to get past it. And then Bessie's like, Oh my god, this is ridiculous. Why do we even find about this? Like, can help get perspective on it, right? Right. That you can't get from your spouse because your spouse is maybe the other person involved in this situation or whatever, and you're like, You've got to- I think we haven't we had a situation like that.

14:49 Jackie: I forget many, many years ago, um, one felt that we always sided on her husband's side. Oh. And it wasn't that we meant to, it just we just didn't know every like what exactly was going on. Right. Not that there was any, and we still don't even know what the situation was. But remember, it was where, well, you don't understand. Right. And we're like, well, explain to us. Right. And then, you know, because we're not trying to take anybody's side, just we don't know everything. Yeah.

15:18 Jennifer: So you're more like Switzerland in that. You're more like, everybody's good. I'm more like, what is wrong? What did he do? Let's just attack him. We are different that way. We are different that way. Jackie will give grace to the guys, like no one's business. And I'm like, if we need to come lynch and like we're I'm coming. Like, what are we gonna do? I'll bring the gun. Let's get rid of him. It's so true. I didn't know that. I didn't realize that until we're saying it out loud. I'm like, what did he do?

15:45 Jennifer: Man, son of a bitch, we'll come. It's all his fault. It's all his fault. Don't you take any of that? You go, girl, you're right. I mean, if you want to be on the right side of things, just call me. I will tell you that you are a girl and you are correct, and that boy isn't wrong. But that's different because Jackie's more like neutral. Like she's neutral, like, oh, he's a great guy. And I'm like, mm-mm, mm-mm. Candy out if everybody. So, anyway, so I'm the girl to call if you need really, like, you know, you need empowerment for a minute, I'll give it to you.

16:16 Jennifer: Jackie's like, uh me. I just, I want every like, what do we always say?

16:21 Jackie: I want peas. You want pea? I'm ready to go to war. What are we gonna do? That's the old me. You've taken over that spot. I know, I am taking over that spot. It's kind of like the friends that we talked to the other night. Well, so we've had two groups of friends here to do um pot yeah. So the first girlfriend that was here, she said that in high school, she remembers that Jim was a sassy one, and I was the really sweet one. And I was like, that's bullshit.

16:46 Jennifer: You have totally lost your mind. And I was like, Oh, thank you so much. So la such a lie. He was so mean in high school. And then last night.

16:56 Jackie: Last night, I was vindicated, another girlfriend here, and I said, Oh, I go, so okay, I have to ask you a question because I go, it was so sweet. I couldn't believe it. But she she remembers me as sweet.

17:08 Jennifer: It's sweet, and she almost assessed when she's like, Oh my gosh, she's got it backwards exactly. I was like, praise Jesus, you got that right. Like that was totally, but now I am sassy, like you've got it wrong. Now I'm sassy, and Jackie's the sweet one. So the funniest thing.

17:22 Jackie: Yeah, and my husband wouldn't even, my husband wouldn't even realize that. No, because he didn't know me in people. I don't think Rob would even, your husband wouldn't even know. He would be like, who? That like she's so nice.

17:32 Jennifer: I'm like, no, she's not, she was not.

17:34 Jackie: The only husband that would probably know is Mike, anyways, and uh not Chad. I didn't know Chad told her to.

17:40 Jennifer: Chad wasn't from the mountain, so he wouldn't have dumb. Yeah, I'm like, me, sassy in high school? I don't think so. I was very sweet and kind. And Jackie was sassy. I'm so glad that I got vindicated last night because that was the truth. I was like, this is I'm feeling like this is really an episode.

17:53 Jackie: So when you're talking about how I am now, I want the peace and be nice, and you're like ready to go. Yeah. We have swapped places. We have swapped places, yeah.

18:01 Jennifer: Now I'm more like ready to do battle and you're you're less about battle. Exactly. Lead behind me, girls, here we go.

18:10 Jennifer: Grab your sword. Okay, let's go. We're going into battle. No, but the four of you are like, Oh, we're really, we're good here.

18:18 Jackie: We're going to battle, let's go. Actually, yeah, us four would be like, Yeah, we're gonna sit here to talk.

18:25 Jennifer: So I'm alone. I'm alone battling all the demons in life. And all the husbands are like, I'm so thankful. She's Rob's at home giving her the dog. Here's the she's gonna battle all the demons. Everybody, just sit back, have a beer, watch and come back with them. I need payment for this sort of behavior, like someone's gotta do it. That's me. It used to be me.

18:46 Jackie: I'm happy to pass over the torch. The torch to me.

18:49 Jennifer: I will I will make sure that everybody is okay.

18:51 Jackie: So, anyways. That's funny. Breaking the myth, it's not hers versus you. This isn't a competition. A healthy friendship supports your wife's mental health, and that is exactly right. You guys do that for me. And a well-supported woman is the best kind of partner. That's true.

19:06 Jennifer: Yeah. Outlets, you have to have outlets. You have to but he has to also appreciate that. Like, you know, some husbands can be in their jealousy or whatever. Like, you go to her for that, but she goes to you for that because she feels the support she needs from that. So I mean, we all pick our I mean, think about it. Like, if you think about if you're having a problem, and I do this too, it's like, okay, who am I gonna call? Because I I'm gonna pick the support I want. Meaning I that's true, she's gonna support me on this, so I'm gonna call her because I need that right now.

19:37 Jennifer: If I want an objective, you know, kind of opinion, I might go to somebody else, like, right, am I crazy or am I not crazy? But if I'm really sure that I'm not crazy, then I'm gonna go to my friends and be like, I'm right, right? And they're like, you know, yeah, sometimes. Sometimes you're like, no, you're not right. But that's kind of, you know, you pick and choose. I think when you have a problem, you start analyzing, like, should I call my mom? Should I call my friend? Should I call my sister?

20:01 Jennifer: Should I I'm, you know, I do that at least. I'm like, who's gonna help in this situation? Because they know the situation. You have more choices. I pretty much only call you girls for that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Uh there's no one else I'd call. No, you wouldn't call your mom for that. No. Yeah. Hello?

20:19 Jennifer: We've not talked about this. She would not be on the list of calls.

20:23 Jackie: She'd be like, What's your problem? I don't know, right? Sorry, but it's true. Yeah. I think that's true, good. I know where who I can't call. Right. But it'll be also on my side, it would be who's home right now. That's great. I'm a no Jen's asleep already. Oh, yeah, I do go to sleep. This is what like when my husband's gone and I need something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to put that on him. Yeah, of course. You know, right. So I always think about that. Like if I'm getting upset about something, it's like I need to talk to a friend then.

20:51 Jackie: Yeah. And which one? Which one? What time is it? Okay, our other ones, okay. Are they is it summertime or are they in school teaching? Right. And the other is she's after five.

21:03 unknown: Okay.

21:04 Jennifer: They'll call me after five because I'm asleep. No, I'm at the uh uh Oh, the other one, yeah. Yeah, the thing is it's like you guys are all in the same time zone. I'm at different time zone. Uh we talk about our text messages. Yeah, so I don't get light late night calls. I'm not good at night night anyways. I mean, if you want to have a problem, you gotta get to me before 2 p.m., which is 12 years time. You guys get that? Does Van have that information?

21:26 unknown: No.

21:26 Jennifer: But yeah, I mean, I it's not a competition, right? That you should they should celebrate us because we do take a lot of the weight off of them. Um, and particularly if your wife's having a a struggling that you have she has someone else's outlet too. So I think, you know, I think all husbands should should definitely make sure that they appreciate the best right too, because she's a big part of the relationship as well. Even though we don't really talk about it and we don't really acknowledge it, I think it's true.

21:51 Jennifer: Anyways, who hasbands who get it right from encouraging girls' weekends to sending the bestie flowers, Rick. I'm waiting. Um we talk to the men who get you and show you your that your wife's. You're the wife's number one support systems. We have always said that this little bestimony thing that we're doing, we've taught we've told men about that. We have a really weird reaction with men when we tell them about this bestie thing because they basically get super excited because I think there's a lot of men that don't know they've run out of gifts or they've run out of ideas or that they've done the same thing and they they always look at it like, oh my god, that would be so great to send my my wife and her best friend, like and go for a girls' weekend and go to Nashville and do this testimony thing that And you've had those.

22:29 Jennifer: We do. Yep, we do. It's like a new thing because it really hasn't been done. But also like gives them like an idea, like something new to send their wives to do with their bestie because they recognize that that's a port in relationship.

22:43 Jackie: It was like that one group that we had, um the ones in the bright pink from New York.

22:48 Jennifer: Oh, the the girls that were they New York or Chicago? It was Chicago. Yeah, I think it was Chicago.

22:52 Jackie: Yeah, the ones that we did, I think it was four of them. Yeah, there was four of them. Four of them. Yeah. But remember, they said that it was their husbands that sent them to do this. Oh, really? They told their husbands, yeah. You don't remember.

23:03 Jennifer: I don't remember that part.

23:04 Jackie: I know the girls are.

23:07 Jackie: When they were saying this, the other one came up and it the other chapel is trying to copy us. Yes, they are copying us. Literally, like it was supposed to be, they're even gonna get like a marriage license, and they were making the remark, they're like, We're married, and our husbands sent us here. That we don't need to marry each other. We just want to have a like a friend. Friend ammonia, yeah. Like it's nothing about that. Right. We don't need a certificate, like we're getting married. The one said she's like, no, our husbands were wanted us to go and do this.

23:33 Jennifer: Yeah. Their thing. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, I think that's you know, shout out to the guys that may or may never listen to this. It's a great, it's a great gift for your wives, really. Especially if you're getting a little bit older like we are, and they're age when they've you've you know bought them all the jewelry, you've gotten all the flowers. It's a great girl's trip. It's a great girls' trip. Something if even if you don't, if they don't know about it, you send them, that'd be that's a really cool gift.

23:56 Jennifer: I don't even think about that. Yeah, like I found this thing, I'm gonna send you guys, you go do it. Like, what a great girls' weekend. Plus it's Nashville. I mean, Nashville's fun.

24:04 Jackie: Well, that's what they're excited about, and they were there during the CMA.

24:06 Jennifer: Yeah, they they didn't know that. Yeah, they kind of found out on their clock and they didn't know about it. So um but yeah, I bet there was the other girls too that have come. And then we've had a lot of husbands come and support their wives in this, though. I think it's definitely it's the men definitely appreciated as well. Respect goes both ways.

24:25 Jackie: Best friends also honor the marriage by respecting boundaries and supporting the husband and wife, but that's true. You have to do that. It is. I mean, well, that's well, that's why our friendship changed for 15 years, whatever it was, because you couldn't respect that bond.

24:40 Jennifer: I didn't respect that bond. Not that I couldn't, I didn't. Yes. I could have, but I didn't because I had been involved in its its its fruition. I started with it and I watched it progress. And I was like, I don't think this is this is a good thing for you. So and he wouldn't allow it anyways. I mean, I don't know how many we talked to a few girls that you know have been in the same situation where they get alienated from everybody around them and then they're isolated, and then they die. Same exact story.

25:07 Jackie: It's the same exact story, same exact story that we heard like from the other night from a friend. Um, she won't be on this podcast, it's a different podcast shooting off. Definitely it's not, it's the same exact story, maybe a little changes in it, but not much. Pretty much it's all the same. Yeah. Which is kind of scary. It was scary for me to listen to.

25:29 Jennifer: I bet. Because you're like, I must have been the only one that's going through it, and then those hear somebody else basically have the exact same experience, but not not in the same place, not in those same. So there's definitely a pattern there, and we're hoping that we can open this podcasting up to just a place for women to come because when you share our stories, we definitely lift each other up and we definitely heal each other. Because, you know, if you think that shame, there's a lot of shame, and like that was I was the only one that ever that ever happened to.

25:57 Jennifer: And when you realize you're not the only woman and it the pattern is the same, and that what you found was the men are the same. You girls, you girls dealt with the same thing, not necessarily you girls are the same people, you just dealt with the same kind of definitely not the same people, but dealt with the same thing. Dealt with the same, almost really down to a T, which is very scary.

26:16 Jackie: Yes. And I had I had Jen try to tell me, hey, you should say more. Yeah, I'm more closed off on my stuff. Uh and I think mine is that one hasn't moved on like I have. I mean, she's moved on and happy with how she's moved on. Sure. But I've moved on hurried, which I didn't that wasn't my plan. Sure. I found a great man and like like we're saying, the ride or die. This man or rider dies and the husbands respect them. Like this husband that I have now, I couldn't have had this relationship back with you guys.

26:46 Jackie: No. No way.

26:47 Jennifer: Oh no, no way. But we wouldn't as you're friends, I wouldn't have even a you know, it'd have been like a battle again. Be like, it's the same it's the same situation. So basically, you know, we uh we definitely watch over you. I definitely watch over you. Yeah. I watch over everybody. I'm the one that's always going to battle. Like, right. Who do I need to kill? Like, this is gonna happen.

27:07 Jackie: But I have a husband now that appreciates you guys. Yes. Like us coming out to Vegas. He's like, yes, go enjoy it. And like him telling us last night, I'm so proud of you guys. Yeah. Like he's just like, there's nothing. He's I've I've talked to him but a hand, not even like four or five times. Yeah. But it's not, he's just like, yes, you're with your girlfriend. I'm not worried about it. Like when the five of us are together, right? And then if our husbands were it, they're just like, yes, get that out of your system, get it all out with each other.

27:35 Jackie: Like when we literally, when we have our girls' weekend, what do we do? What was the one time we went up to Paso all together? We were, what did we do? We drank to the winery. We drank. Right? We went back to the room and played cards. Yeah, that's true.

27:47 Jennifer: We just sat and talked. We did. And then and then we played roulette bed. You were hooking around in everybody's bed. That's the normal thing. That's a whole nother episode of that. Okay, guys. Anywho. Let's just say Jackie moves around beds at nighttime when she sleeps. Jackie does not get comfortable. She's a sleepbox since she's moving around. Anyways, but yes, the boundaries of also supporting you and your husband um together. I've definitely um since I'm the one that will always be the one that goes to battle.

28:14 Jennifer: If I'm not battling your husband, then that's a pretty good indication that I think he's a pretty good guy for you. So that's a good he should be thankful for that. I think all of us have good husbands.

28:22 Jackie: Yes. We're very lucky. Yes. This is a good one for us and give our all of our husbands kudos for. Exactly.

28:27 Jennifer: So healthy women come from strong circles. Every husband should support the friendships that keep his wife emotionally whole. Totally. Totally. When she's taken, like I said, part of the battle off for you, is definitely something to celebrate and to be thankful for.

28:41 Jackie: And if you're in competition with that best friend without appreciating that, there's something wrong. Right. Maybe I don't, I don't, I don't even think an age should be different. It should be any age you are. I think that a husband should always support that friendship.

28:55 Jennifer: Yeah. It's important for her. But if there's a jealousy, there's something wrong. Yeah. That's when you're gonna hear resistance, anyways.

29:00 SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.

29:01 Jennifer: And typically the best friend will go because the marriage is usually the most important, which is understandable, but she can definitely help you. So support your the bestie too, because she's taken some weight off of you.

29:12 Jackie: We're gonna reword this today. Rapid bestie questions. All right, Jack, go first. Who plans the girls' trip? You who forgets something major?

29:20 unknown: Probably.

29:20 Jackie: I think it's you. Maybe me, might be Chris. I think Chris does good. I don't think anybody I think we all don't forget.

29:27 Jennifer: I think we're old enough that we know we've already forgotten enough things that we know now to for not to forget it, right?

29:32 Jackie: What's something only he gets away with saying, but never a bestie? He gets away. That's a weird one. Okay. He gets away. Do we let I think we let our besties get away with more than we do?

29:44 Jennifer: So let's okay, so we're gonna switch that and that's we're gonna say that she gets away with saying a lot more than he would ever get to say for sure. Exactly. Because we would not tolerate that from him, but we will gladly accept it from her. So anyways, who tells the wife she's being a little bit too much? Kind of, I think Your husband doesn't say it to you. I don't think if we're any of us are a little bit too much. If anybody's gonna be a little bit too much, it's me. Like just from a like a like a personality.

30:14 Jennifer: Rick would say it to me. He would. Okay, so you and I would probably we're definitely not saying that to show.

30:19 unknown: No. Chris.

30:20 Jennifer: I don't think we're not. It's probably you and I.

30:23 Jackie: Actually, there wasn't an not too long ago that um Michelle lost her phone. Oh, really? And Pete had to text me and he's like and tell me, and he's like, Do they had a good night? That was pretty much it, but he wanted to let me know.

30:36 Jennifer: She lost her phone. That's funny.

30:38 Jackie: So that's kind of cute. Hold on to your phone show. I don't think he'd say she's a little much. That's like Did anybody say that? I don't think so. No, but I just thought that was a funny one because that like threw me for I was like, what? Because my husband's like, Pete just text me, so I'm telling you, doesn't have her phone.

30:52 Jennifer: So you need to get a hold of her. You gotta text him. Okay, who gives the best pep talks and the relationship hits uh when the relationship hits a rough patch? You? Yeah, I think so. Because I'm the one that will go to battle. Like I'm the one that's like, let's just get down to the bare bones here. You're right, he's wrong.

31:06 Jackie: Yeah, I don't think the rest of us really go into that kind of talk. I think you're the one that does. Yeah, probably. Think about it.

31:14 Jennifer: I don't know. The rest of us don't really get like a lot of people. Yeah, you're more like neutral. You're more like Switzerland. So it would be like the rest of us are Switzerland except you. Yeah, probably. You're probably right.

31:26 Jennifer: Okay, uh, let's see. Who would you rather have a spa weekend with? Your bestie or a romantic getaway with your husband? No explanation allowed. What? I would definitely like to have a spa weekend with my besties. You? You're probably a romantic getaway with your husband. I do like romantic getaway. I know you don't. I know. You go and I go to the spa. No, no, no, that's fine. You know. That's just a difference in a that's a difference in our personalities. Right. Who's more likely to push her to apologize after a fight with her man?

31:53 Jennifer: Me. Yeah, you are Switzerland.

31:55 Jackie: Who's the better gift giver to the husband?

31:57 Jennifer: I don't know.

31:58 Jackie: Because I don't know really does. I don't know. Because every husband, yeah, I don't think I mean I'm taking my husband to Catalina this year. Yeah, that's good. In a few weeks.

32:07 Jennifer: Yeah. I mean, I think it's a pretty nice gift. Yeah. I mean, there's nobody that's like this grandiose like gift giver for the guys. Yeah, it's like we're not like super rich or something that we're right.

32:17 Jackie: We're going on the yacht this weekend and the uh And I've probably win a lot of money. I'm taking everybody, all my best friends, and their husbands on a yacht. Just not my husband.

32:25 Jennifer: Just not oh, just not your husband.

32:28 Jackie: All of us. That's not my husband. I'm not taking him. Well, I said not just him. I've already said that.

32:36 Jennifer: That's right. If anybody wins the lottery, Jackie needs to go on that yacht that everybody goes to that's on that show. What's that show? Jeez, okay. I can't remember right now. I know we have 55 brain game. I don't remember, but the yacht that everybody, the show's on that yacht. That's Jackie's that's Jackie's golden line. And I will pick out the best food for the chef to the food. I just can't wait to sit in the sun for that long. That's so exciting. We better be going to Europe or something.

32:59 Jackie: Well, maybe should we need a uh ship that has at least one slot machine down the way.

33:03 Jennifer: That's that just make sure it's in some sort of like Caribbean, not Caribbean, in the Europe. Like we need to be cruising around Greece or something. Something where I'm like, okay, the next port, I can get off. Yeah, that would be fun. So, anyways, all right, if this episode hit you in the feels or made you laugh way too long, we consider that a win. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die. And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

33:27 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

33:43 Song: We stick together eye or die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. The reuniting's like we never been apart, and every single time we're either eye and heart a heart.

34:21 Song: Stayed right next to me. I'd about to make you laugh to you cry. Look up and everything under the moon. The definition of a bit split. It's good.

34:45 SPEAKER_00: It's good.

34:59 Song: We're writing a toy, everything we'll keep on.

36:09 Song: Loyalty.

36:19 Song: Trust. That's loyalty.