Star Women Rising: Platonic Soulmates Redefining Female Connection and the Spirit of Chickology

0:00 Jennifer: Hey there, I'm Jennifer.

0:01 Jackie: And I'm Jackie.

0:02 Jennifer: And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised, where best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind bestimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't covet the marriage license.

0:10 Jackie: This podcast is all about that friendship energy: the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh to use Nort stuff.

0:15 Jennifer: So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

0:20 Jackie: Let's get slightly unsupervised. All right, today's episode is Real Talk, Real Women, and the Stories That Shape Us. In this episode, we're talking about what it means to tell your truth out loud, how women rise after life knocks them down, and why sharing our real messy, powerful stories matters more than ever. Melinda is one of the incredible voices behind the Chicology Podcast Collective, a space for women-led podcasts that are raw, real, and rooted in community. Chicology is all about healing in the open, growing through what we've been through and celebrating the connections that carry us.

0:54 Jackie: Whether it's friendship, motherhood, heartbreak, identity, or starting over, Chicology is where women tell the truth and rise together. So today we're pulling back the curtain on Melinda's Journey, her podcast, Star Women Rising, and what it really looks like to own your story and keep going one chapter at a time.

1:10 Jennifer: Welcome, Melinda, to your to our podcast. You're part of our Chicology group, and uh you have started Star Woman Rising. We put out your third pop first podcast last week, and we want to introduce you to our um listeners as well. So, hello and how are you?

1:28 Melinda: Doing well. I'm honored to be here with you guys, honored to be part of the Chicology Collective. Powerful. It's a powerful movement.

1:38 Jennifer: I was trying to do something with this podcasting. I I know we got into it a little bit, Jackie, and I got into it just kind of having fun with it. And then we've kind of tripped onto this like, wait, this is a really powerful outlet for women to come together, um, especially people in our age group that have lived some of life that the life experiences that we've had. Um, and how do we share that with uh people our own age for people to understand and somebody to lean into and be like, somebody gets me, but also for the generations that are younger than us that are coming through this, that these are the things that as you get older come up and that you're not alone in that.

2:14 Jennifer: Each one of us that has been through some kind of journey has something to share with the world to help them, to especially women. I mean, I think women, Jackie and I've talked about it before, women need women's stories because we understand that better. We have, we're emotional creatures. So we we need women to understand us and to, you know, share a story. And I know that's part of what our checology, you know, why we journeyed into that. And and that's how you kind of came about that you have a particular type of podcast that you do.

2:46 Jennifer: You're part of our chicology because it it taps into something that, you know, you don't normally find on an everyday basis. So do you want to tell us a little bit about your podcast?

2:56 Melinda: It's really my own personal journey, touching on spirituality and how that has played a part in my journey, a huge part, really, to be totally honest. The whole thing has been a spiritual journey, but the different aspects of my life, the day-to-day life that has guided that or sort of directed my spiritual journey. Right. And I feel like that's something we don't a lot of people, I don't know, a lot of people don't maybe factor that in or think about how those connect, how they played, play out together.

3:31 Jennifer: Absolutely. I want to just for a minute read the uh read about your podcast, what we describe it as so that people can kind of get an idea. It's Star Women Rising, it's hosted by Melinda. Basically, the description is we grew up on fairy tales that told us to wait for rescue, to be quiet, pretty, and patient until our happily ever after arrived. But real women don't live in glass slippers. We rise from the ashes, speak the truth, and create our own magic. Star Woman Rising is where ancient wisdom meets modern awakening, hosted by Melinda.

3:59 Jennifer: This podcast tears down the mists that have been limiting women for generations and lights the fire of remembrance of who we are, what we carry, and how powerful we've always been. So that is kind of the description of that. And that's kind of what Melinda's podcast is about. And it really taps into sort of this awakening of we're born into life. This is just my analogy of it. We're born into life, and we have all these great possibilities, limitless possibilities of who we are and the things that have happened before and the the generational things that come with that.

4:35 Jennifer: And as we grow little by little, we are torn down and we are redes redirected into some form of something that is probably not even uh is nothing to do with the originalness of who we were when we started this. Is that kind of how you feel, Melinda? Is that sort of like resonate with you? That's kind of what happens to us as women.

4:57 Melinda: Yes, there's absolutely this programming, for lack of a better word, I think that comes into play when you're when you're you know starts as a child that sort of tells you that you the fairy tale, you want to the white picket fence, you're gonna grow up and you're gonna find a man and you're gonna get married and have children and and you know, and you sort of follow into that. Kind of that you find your prince charming, but I think it's really rare when we tell young women that you're gonna grow up and you're gonna be powerful and you're gonna do what you want to do and you're gonna follow your journey and tap into your intuition, and you know it it's really this I think this programming that we fall into.

5:40 Melinda: And then you get you start going through life and you realize this is not, this was not what I thought I was signing up for.

5:48 Jennifer: Right. And it's weird because in particular women, I I feel this deeply, is that we are programmed so strongly into one aspect of life, which is to get married, have children, be a mother, be a grandmother. Where do we define ourselves as human beings in that? Not that those aren't beautiful things and they're wonderful, and we've all experienced it and we all have great things to say about being mothers and now grandmothers, but it's not a definition of who I am as a person. It is part of my journey, but part of my journey is my own self.

6:25 Jennifer: And we girls are not necessarily taught that you could be this powerful human on your own journey that has a lot of things that you can affect and do and be part of and change the world with it because we just we're not really taught that. Do you don't you feel that way? I mean, I I know I feel that way.

6:45 Melinda: I think on every level, we're sort of pushed to believe that our journey isn't really our own. I you know, that we have to rely on some outside hand that's gonna determine where we go, what we accomplish. And like you said, I mean, being a mother, being a grandmother, those are some of my best roles, right? I've I've I've enjoyed that, but that's not all I am. You know, I had I had a career, uh, you know, even in that, there was sort of this defining of who you are, or that that career becomes your identity, or you know, there's so we have so much more that we can tap into, but I think most people don't don't realize that it's kind of like the hand of fate.

7:25 Melinda: Oh, well, this is this is how this is how it's gonna go for me. That yeah, and that that's not true. That's not true. We definitely decide who we wanna be, what we want to do with this life. And I think a lot of people don't realize that.

7:42 Jennifer: I think we have been programmed. I think that's it. We we've talked about this and we were gonna do a podcast on it, but it's the Cinderella fucking story that gets us all sucked up.

7:53 Jackie: And um that's what I was gonna say.

7:55 Jennifer: Yeah, Cinderella is a bad example to girls, and what do we do? We feed it to them like it's the greatest thing on the planet as little girls. We dress them up like that, we buy them everything that makes them look like a little princess. We put these little taros on, they put their little dresses on, they got their shoes on, we watch that show over and over again. What are we doing to our girls? What is that actually doing? Because that story is about finding Prince Charming who changes your life and makes your life better.

8:25 Jennifer: And that's the end of the story. She just goes off with Mr. What's his name? And there is no aftermath. What happened after that? That's the part that's missing in that that story, don't you think?

8:36 Melinda: What happened after that, after she married Prince Charming and all that? Well, he probably, you know, did some terrible things. And that he was not all he was cracked up to be, kind of left you high and dry, maybe found somebody else. Who knows? I mean, that that story. I'm sorry, am I being too much? No, that is the reason. No, I'm in agreement with you there. That this Prince Charming actually ended up being, you know, a demon in disguise. And of course, that's not always the case, and that certainly was not the case for me, but that's pardon?

9:15 Jennifer: It can be. I mean, you know, there's plenty of women, especially at our age, that could go back and say, Well, Prince Charming wasn't exactly Prince Charming.

9:22 Melinda: Um, that's me. Hello. Yeah, yeah. And he's telling you that this is my palace and these are my jewels, and you and you, you know, and you're you're locked to follow my rules now.

9:33 Jennifer: This is I'm in charge now, and you'll do what I want to do. And right.

9:37 Jackie: You're no more Cinderella, you're now Stepford wife. Yeah.

9:41 Jennifer: Becky definitely fell into that. Like, but she was taught the dream and she she followed it to the T in the best way she could. I mean, you're a good example of that, Jack. I'm not a good follower of anything, so I'm not a real good example here. But for you, you really thought that was the dream, and you were gonna have this perfect fairy tale, and this thing was gonna work out perfectly, and you don't have that fairy tale, and you lost yourself, and you don't have a playbook to the fairy tale, isn't what the fairy tale was supposed to be, right?

10:10 Jennifer: We don't have the playbook for that. We don't have a next movie where Cinderella is living now, and what happens when Cinderella gets a little chubby, and Mr. You know, doesn't want chubby Cinderella. He wants, you know, the one that fits in the world. Or a younger, a younger Cinderella.

10:27 Melinda: The Cinderella that's all haggard because she's running around after kids and she's trying to take care of everything, taking care of everything, you know.

10:35 Jennifer: Yeah, there is back to original life, but now she's with French Charming and he's like, This is boring, or she's in her sweats because she's freaking tired. I mean, you know, like I don't my daughter-in-law just had a baby, man. I go over there, she's just barely hanging off.

10:49 Melinda: Yeah. And little does she know that's forever, right? You have it's not doesn't just stop at having a baby. You're you're now incredibly vulnerable now with children, and there's so much that that you don't think about or anticipate. And in that Cinderella story, too, there's also this level of now you're trapped, right? Because you've been programmed to think that you can't do it without right. Jack, you had that.

11:16 Jackie: Yeah, when they got the control. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know where you're gonna go, you don't know what you're gonna do. Yeah, like you said, there's no continued story to go by. Okay, then what happens now? What do I do now? How do I get out of this? And then you have the kids where you're more vulnerable. You don't want to leave because you don't want to do that to them. You know, so you it's not you're not just thinking about yourself anymore, you've got these little ones also. So you do whatever you can to keep this story together, whether it's the Cinderella or just turns into a stepford wife, um, until you just you you gotta go.

11:44 Jackie: It's reading.

11:48 Jennifer: Get on that. Like you're selling a story, you better sell the whole damn thing with it. Uh, I don't know if you've ever ever seen Jim Carrey. I like Jim Carrey because he's pretty raw and real. He always says, and I see it on the time on there, I'd say it's I wish everybody could be very successful and have a ton of money and be able to do anything you want to do and have the resources to do it because this isn't what makes you happy. This isn't it. He's like, I don't know how to tell you this, but this is not get to this level.

12:13 Jennifer: This I'm gonna tell you, this is not gonna make you happy. He's not happy with that. He is a personal journey that he's on, that he's looking for whatever the meaning of life, how it works, or whatever. I know he has a lot of like things he does that are pretty common to what you talk about, Melinda, and his journey and the way he thinks about stuff. But he's like, I wish everybody could get to this success and realize this isn't it. Right. This is not, but what do we do? We pedal as fast as we can because we're sold a dream that you have to be get married, have a prince driving, get to this level, da da da.

12:43 Jennifer: We work ourselves so much into that that we s we get there. I've certainly caught to a level of success that is pretty nice. I'm comfortable, but am I any happier? I don't know. I mean, I just have more stuff. Does that make me happier? Probably not. I mean busier. Busier. Yeah. Mine is about my own, you know, for my journey, especially. Mine is just about succeeding at something that that I was set up to fail at to start. So I have a little bit more um determination to do that kind of thing. Like, you know, everybody's different stories here.

13:19 Jennifer: I had a baby at a young age, so I had to jump into that pretty quick. And I know Jackie got married and did the whole Cinderella story that didn't turn out to be perfect. And and Linda, you have your own story about that too. You obviously married your high school sweetheart. We all know that that happened with you and that you guys did. And you're still together, and that's a beautiful story, but it's not the only part of your story, you know. That's that's part of it. But I'm sure there's been struggles.

13:44 Jennifer: I'm sure there's been things that have happened along the way that, you know, the Cinderella part of it, they don't tell us about that. Um, you know, staying together at some point is a lot of work. Yeah. Just to be with somebody in that regard is a lot of work for us.

13:58 Melinda: Yeah. You know, definitely we've had our struggles, but I will say within that, Greg has absolutely supported my spiritual journey, which has been tremendous. I mean, I know sometimes he's looking at me going, okay, but but he respects it. He respects that aspect. So that has been very powerful in our relationship. My mom is super independent, you know, I'm kind of like, you know, I'm gonna do my thing. And, you know, I I bring up things and he just kind of, you know, I don't, I don't understand, but I honor that.

14:31 Melinda: So I've been very fortunate in that. And I have been surrounded by people who have honored my journey and and accepted, well, this is this is her journey, this is where she's at. It hasn't always been easy, and I definitely get the the naysayers, and I come up against a lot of challenges and challenges within my own family, my own community. But part of the whole idea of the Star Women rising is pushing through that. Pushing through that, not being defined, or this makes you uncomfortable. Okay, then maybe you need to look at that.

15:03 Melinda: If this is triggering you, then that's a you thing. And I'm gonna keep pushing forward, following my guidance, following my intuition. And you know, I want to make the most of the time I have here. I don't think I was just randomly put here on this crazy just to, you know, spin brodies and you know, I go in circles and you know, I just I don't feel that. So just really wanting to help people, not even help people, share my journey so that other people can embrace theirs or know that, okay. So maybe I'm not crazy or maybe, you know, I'm having these experiences.

15:37 Melinda: I'm not crazy in my thought processes or these things that are coming to me aren't whatever, whatever people say they are demonic or whatever.

15:46 Jennifer: I mean, yeah, I mean they think that's the the truth in it is that we can speak about these things, and and the three of us sitting here are 55 years old. We don't hide that from anybody. I hope you don't like sharing that, but we're 55 years old. So we have 55 years of experience. Some of it was just in childhood and we weren't really doing anything. But if you had started this journey, Melinda, and when you were at 20 years old versus 55 years old, you wouldn't have, I mean, we wouldn't have the ability to even withstand the negativity that would come at us.

16:16 Jennifer: We would all crumble, I'm sure, telling our stories because the story is we're not able as a human being or as women, we're not developed enough in our thought processes and who we are and the journeys that we've been on to have those conversations and that it becomes imperative as you get older that we come back and we say, that's at least how I feel. We turn around and we say to the ones behind us, the ones that we used to be, be like, keep coming. It's okay, it's gonna work out. We've all been through journeys, we've all had stuff, and we're telling you, we're sharing those stories with you because we want you to feel seen, heard, and somebody can speak for you when you cannot speak for yourself quite yet, because you you might feel these things, but you don't have the with the ability to withstand the criticism that comes with being this way.

17:06 Jennifer: I mean, I think that's part of it. And I think that's part of you sharing your story with us or your podcast with us in is is going to uh help people because there's a lot of people that don't have the strength to speak and they're not they weren't raised that way, they don't have the ability. And so when you say it, when you give it a place, when you give it a uh bring it to life, you give per people permission to feel that way. And I think that's a powerful experience, don't you?

17:33 Melinda: Yeah, well, you know, it's it's the maiden, the mother, the crone, right? You know, and speaking now as a crone. Yes, not a beautiful term, but I embrace it. You know, there's the level of wisdom that you acquire throughout your journey, which is part of it, right? It's all it's a learning experience, but then it's what you do with that. It's what you do with what you've learned and where you take that. And, you know, for us, you talk about friendship, talking about some other things, but then sharing that.

18:03 Melinda: And then and hopefully there's people that that have the wherewithal to listen to that because it doesn't always fall on the right ears or or people they're not in a place to hear it. But for those who are, you know, you can persevere, you can build what you want, not what somebody else wants, but what you want. Follow your fire. Those things that you didn't think you could do or you didn't think were possible for you are absolutely available to you, but you have to, you know, embrace that. You have to go for it, you have to go after it, and you can.

18:39 Melinda: And I feel like that's my message, whether it's on a spiritual level, that's where I'm at. You talked about, you know, having things. Yeah, I have things, but they certainly don't define me. And you think about it, those things can be stripped away. And if that's the case, then then where are you left? So, you know, the spiritual aspect for me is where it's at. You know, my focus is is where I'm taking this.

19:02 Jennifer: Right. And that's your that's the part of you that is your passion, you know. Once you find something that you're passionate about that you can share or that you can help other people with, that's really just a gift that you were given that you were able to share with other people that don't have it or don't have the ability to find that. And so, you know, we share our gifts. That's this is part of this checklist thing, is that there's a lot of life that happens between Cinderella and later in life, and how do we navigate some of that stuff?

19:32 Jennifer: And and you're not alone. Like Jackie's got a powerful story too. I mean, she just does. And I try to give my story too. And it's hard for us sometimes to talk about our stories because they are not wrapped up with a really big, pretty bow on top. Like it's been this great journey this entire time. But the fact that we've survived them, I wear my badges of honor way better than I would my, you know, I got these things accomplished and how great am I, because I feel almost like a fraud when I do that, because I feel like how much did I have to battle to get here?

20:05 Jennifer: And none of that came without some sacrifice on my part. And let's not talk about what I've achieved. Let's talk about how I got there. Let's talk about that journey. That is that's where the power lies, right? How to pick yourself up and go forward.

20:19 Melinda: Yeah. And you know, to another challenging aspect of of sharing the journey, they involve other people.

20:25 Jackie: Right. Right.

20:26 Melinda: You know, like, you know, that for me is probably sharing that, just trying to share it in a way that is just my experience, what you know, my perspective, what I saw, and not villainizing really anybody. But it's just this is this is where I landed, this is how I dealt with it, and trying to share it in a way that isn't for me, you know, I'm not trying to bash or finger point or do any of that, but just my experience of certain things, how things played out. I find that a little challenging, but it's my story, you know.

21:01 Melinda: I'm gonna tell my story.

21:03 Jennifer: Yeah, my perspective. Yeah. Like you gotta be able to talk about your truths in that. So, you know, I know Jackie and I shut struggled with that a lot in the beginning of our podcasting days. Like, where do we tap in? Where do we tap out? How do we dance around this in a nice way? And then at some point we just said, well, let's just say it, let's just do it. Because we can help people by just saying it the way it happened. And, you know, there's there's been villains in all of our stories. Everybody here has a villain.

21:34 Jennifer: My point, my part, at least the way I look at it, and you girls might look at it differently, is that you played the part, like I didn't guide you on that. You played the villain part all my life. And I'm not talking about it to villainize you. I'm talking to you because these things happened, because this this stuff has occurred in my life, and these are the the circumstances that happened to me. And if you wanted me to have better things to say, you could have been a better human too, to some degree.

21:59 Melinda: For sure. And you know, I I have been the villain sometimes. You know, so when in the name of authenticity, I have to in the journey, you have to look at where you've you've been that. We've all kind of played both both parts of it. So for me, it is a little bit, I mean, I have no problem owning my stuff. But it is, you know, it's a bit of a tightrope act. So it's a little challenging. Um, but I feel like it's it's worth it. Very cathartic to, you know, you I got all this stuff floating around up here, all these things that are that I feel like could be beneficial to somebody, the ears that want to hear it.

22:35 Jennifer: Yeah. And that's why Jackie and I even started, we started on the journey with best friends because we did a ceremony and that's how we got started. And then it is evolved, right? So we've balled into psychology. It's like, wait, there's a lot of women with a lot of stories that can really help women. And where do you find them? Like, you gotta go look through all these podcasts. So podcast is like a book, but it's talking, it's like an audio book, really, of stories or things that have happened to people.

23:01 Jennifer: And and so much easier for us to get you to talk about it on a podcast, Melinda, than say, can you write a book for us? Because we'd like to, you know what I mean? That's a big old thane of thanes. People like, oh yeah, uh, chapter one, I can't, I got writer's block on you know, third sentence. So we're because that would happen, right? But when you taught, it's easier. It's easier to kind of get your thoughts out of your head and in on into the world. So that this is really great, this podcasting world, because I think that it can open up a lot of places where you wouldn't normally get to hear from people because not everybody wants to write a book.

23:32 Jennifer: That's the only other way it used to be. You could write a book and share your work your story with people.

23:37 Melinda: Yeah. And I think it's particularly powerful that it's, you know, women, the concept of women doing this for women, and not that that it excludes anybody. I I feel like it's whoever wants to hear it, but the idea of women helping women, and not in that sort of cliche-ish term, and not that that's a problem, but if we want the world to change, if we want things to change, I feel like it's going to be incumbent upon women to do that. And that's gonna require us stepping out of these programs, stepping out of these roles or or looking at these roles differently.

24:14 Melinda: They don't define who you are, and we've got to come together. And if if there's gonna be any real significant change, because this world as it is, it's been going on for a long, long time. If there's gonna be any really significant change, I think it's gonna be women. And one of the ways we do that is we start embracing each other because a lot of times we're pitted against each other. I think that's a whole other podcast, which I tried to start one, and then I just fell apart on it. I mean, there was there's so much, but the idea of coming together and uplifting each other, embracing each other, supporting each other, I think is where the real significant change is going to occur.

24:53 Jennifer: Absolutely. I think women are the future of change. And um we embrace you, we love you, we are here to support you, and um, you're always gonna get a hundred percent out of us of whatever we can do for you because you're whatever you have in your head, we know it is important for other women to hear it and that other people have the experience that we have with you as well. So we want to welcome you to Chicology, and we invite everybody to check out her podcast Star Women Rising. It's part of the Chicology Podcast Collective that we've got going on on our on Apple Podcasts.

25:29 Jennifer: We've got them everywhere. I I don't even remember all the avenues, but we've put it out everywhere. So find it, listen to it. It's got a lot of good stuff in it, and she's got a lot of stuff to share with you, and she's just getting started. I mean, who knows where that's gonna go and how far you're gonna take this. But I know for personally, I think it's maybe your episode three, the menopause one, about us capturing our power in that menopause world is a great podcast for women our age in particular to go through this, and she's got a whole nother spin on it, and it's amazing.

26:03 Jennifer: And you definitely want to tune into that one because we are damned for it, and maybe it's our power too. So, you know, I want to wanna shout out to you on that one too, because I edit your podcast, so I listen to these way before anybody else does. So I know what's coming. And you know, you're just you're one of our friends. We've known you for a long time, and we just want to thank you for taking this journey with us and giving your your all to it, and we appreciate you.

26:27 Melinda: I appreciate the opportunity. You're my girls. I love you. I love you guys. We love you too.

26:33 Jennifer: So we're gonna bring you into it. This is our podcast, and we're besties, so we do this thing called bestie rapid fire questions. So we're gonna bring you into it, Linda. You you tell us when you have an answer for it. But uh, Jack, go ahead and you start this.

26:44 Jackie: Okay, so the first rapid fire question: who in your life makes you feel the most like yourself? My grandchildren, if I can jump in.

26:52 Melinda: That's an easy one. My grandchildren, they accept me, they just accept me. They love us. No, they just they make me.

27:02 Jackie: Except I I better watch myself because I bought baby girl, a kitchen, broom, a fake Dyson. I need a buyer. I need to buy I need to buy her a baseball bat and a ball. Yeah, yeah, you gotta get her.

27:18 Melinda: Get her some of that.

27:20 Jackie: I did put her in a tutu though with a sweatshirt. That was cute. That was not like no, there was no crown or anything. You're allowed. You're allowed.

27:28 Jennifer: Oh, Jack, who's your own person in your life that makes you more feel more like yourself?

27:32 Jackie: I was gonna say my grandchildren, also.

27:34 Jennifer: I'm gonna say my friends for sure. And my grand I have a grandbaby that's you know almost a month old, but hasn't really had that effect on me yet. But you know, I I soon as they start talking. Yeah, I get to it. But I think for me, like, and maybe that's it, because the judging isn't there because the the freedom to be who you are and to feel accepted wholly, probably is probably in the youth, the children still. They're they're before, you know, they got sold the Cinderella story and tried to roll down that thing.

28:03 Jennifer: So that's probably that's probably coming down the pipeline. But for me right now, I would say my friends. Okay, next question. What's something your younger self would not believe about you now, Melinda?

28:14 Melinda: Uh I would say some of the connections I've made. I've had, I'm a very fortunate person to have made on that spiritual aspect some some really deep, amazing connections. And also that I would have left to become somewhat of a farmer. Like that I never saw that coming.

28:31 Jennifer: I never I never saw this lifestyle coming. You'd be shocked if we went back to your 18-year-old self on the day you graduate and been like, look, you're gonna do this podcast on this whole spiritual thing. You're gonna find all these spiritual people and you're gonna feel you're gonna get really into that. And then the next thing is you're gonna go live in a remote state and be on out on the land and be like a farming like, there's no way. I wanted to tell you something about Melinda that you guys need to know because uh I went to high school with her.

28:59 Jennifer: She was the scariest softball pitcher on the planet. I literally gave up softball because I had to go against her because her pitching was so she's known for this. Like, she's a phenomenal softball pitcher, and nobody wanted to go against her. And I don't even know how you ended up on that mountain being that pitcher because you really bel you belonged in the Olympics or something. I mean, your fast your pitching was on fire, and you were a super competitive athlete. So this whole thing of you, the spiritual, like it's a very far take from that.

29:34 Jennifer: So, you know, that's that's part of her backstory that people should know about her. That she was a phenomenal, phenomenal softball player and went on to do many things with that and had children and gave that up a little bit, I think, from a little bit of that standpoint. You had to kind of give that up. But did you ever play softball, Jack?

29:51 Jackie: No, only in the eighth grade against the teachers, remember?

29:55 Jennifer: You never went across you never went around this fastball that that well in this.

29:59 Jackie: Oh no, I know about her fastball, yes, definitely.

30:01 Jennifer: She's known for it.

30:02 Jackie: Everybody knew about her fat fastball.

30:04 Melinda: Well, you know the funny thing.

30:05 Jackie: I was a big Melinda supporter.

30:09 Melinda: But you know, you know, the the pitching thing came about because uh one of my best friend at the time, one of her dad told me that I would never be a pitcher. Oh, so he good for you. Yeah.

30:22 Jennifer: You showed him, girl. I mean honestly, I gave up softball for because of you. I'm like, nah, I don't want to be girl.

30:29 Jackie: All right. The next one. What's one thing you think every woman should hear more often? That we're doing a good job.

30:35 Jennifer: I see you and I understand you. Like, I see you. I understand. Those are two powerful things that can really change somebody because when you see somebody for who they are and not what your perception of them is, but just I see you. Yeah, I see you. I see what you're doing and I understand. I support you. I'll give you support for that. Like, I think those are really powerful things that women need to hear more. That we are we don't need to play a role that we can be on our own two feet and be seen for that and and also encouraged, you know.

31:05 Jennifer: I think that's important. So that's for me, that would be what I would say. Do you have anything you girls want to add to that?

31:11 Melinda: You're enough. You don't have to you don't have to be everything to everybody. You're you're enough. You can but know that within yourself. Right. It starts within yourself. Yes.

31:22 Jennifer: Because once you find that, once you think of that about yourself, then it's just easy. Because anybody else that naysays you or does whatever, you're just like, Yeah, I'm good. I'm good, I'm enough. Yeah. When we stop seeking the approval of that to just spend on our own would be powerful. So okay. What's what makes someone a Chicology woman to you? I think a storyteller with a purpose is really what I would say about that. Someone with a story. Yeah. Do you have a story and can you tell us that story?

31:46 Jennifer: And can you be as open as you can about it? Because that is how the relation between us is how we can make ourselves feel seen and heard as well. I mean, that's going back to what I just said before, but like if you can tell a story and you can get it across your point to it and you can help somebody, I think that that's what we look for when Jackie and I are looking at people that do this this podcasting stuff is that can you tell the story and can you help somebody with it, really? That's what we see.

32:12 Jennifer: What do you see, Melinda? You're on the outside. Jackie and I kind of are on the inside of this.

32:16 Melinda: So a little bit of a different take on it too, is that sort of that fiery, untamed, raw energy. You know, there it takes that to be able to put it out there and you know, you know, be unsupervised. Right. Right. Exactly.

32:31 Jennifer: Slightly you need it. You have to have the you have to have the conviction to want to do it, and you have to be able to relate that to people. You know, we'll find more. Jackie and I are always looking, and you certainly would like anybody that's interested that has a story to say and and can help people, and that's your mission in life, then we want to hear from you because we definitely are looking for more people. We're just starting this and we're just on a journey with it. And so we always invite people to to join in with us.

32:57 Jennifer: So okay, Jack, you're next. What do you think friendship looks like at its best? Non-competitive support theory. Can you just give me support without women? We got to do a podcast. Period.

33:08 Jackie: You mean exclamation?

33:10 unknown: Yeah.

33:11 Jennifer: So we need we need a podcast on just girls start with competitiveness. Good God. And and I don't, we're out of it a little bit. We're too old for that now. We're not like crying for the same attention from somebody. But I go into like where the hairdresser is, or I'm around these 20-year-olds again, and I'm like, Good God, you got the same problems we all had.

33:29 Jackie: And it's like so silly because But I don't remember us like compete like these moms now, like they all want to look like for Halloween, all want to look better than the other one. They have to do their outfit they're more worried about their outfits and their own kids' outfits anymore. Seriously.

33:45 Jennifer: It's competitive. That comes from.

33:48 Jackie: But we didn't do that. I don't not that I remember unless I just because I know I things are different in than what I saw, then maybe what my next person saw. You know what I mean? We all see it differently. But we don't remember us ever being like that.

34:02 Jennifer: I don't think we had a platform. They have a platform to put all their pictures. Yeah.

34:06 Jackie: Because of TikTok, that's that's true.

34:08 Jennifer: It does make it a little bit changing the way they behave because they are competing with each other, but then they're like looking for the confirmation they looked really good. Approval from the others, yeah. And as many likes as you get as you know, popular you are, or whatever, and like you get lost in that, girls. Like you're gonna at some point set put that sword down because you have your 20s. I'll give you your 20s. They're great years, and you have a lot of good energy, and you're young and you're vivacious, and your skin looks good, and your hair looks good, and your clothes fit good, and and then it will end.

34:41 Jennifer: And then when that happens, and it happens, who are you?

34:45 Melinda: When all that's gone, because it will go away. And you know, they're also competing with AI. I think a lot of people that are in those circles, they don't understand that some of these things that you're seeing are not real. That person, yeah.

34:59 Jennifer: Not even a real person, yeah.

35:01 Jackie: Well, okay, so we I won't say, okay, so we have a person and that me and some other people know, but anyways, she put a new profile picture out. And um all of us right away, as it came out, we're like, that that is not her. That is AI. And as you watch the comments, like none of us would say it. But then all of a sudden it got to where someone's like, is this AI? Poor girl. Like, like, that's not you though. It's that's a false advertisement. Now these dating naps, they're gonna be able to make themselves people are really not gonna look the same when they go on a date now.

35:34 Melinda: Looking at the picture going up.

35:37 Jackie: Well, you've got okay, some of it, but no, that is not. Wait, you look like this conservative, cute little mommy, but now you look like you followed someone in the 80s for too long, grateful dead, or something.

35:50 Jennifer: Well, I edit photos. This is a true story. I edit photos for weddings because we have we take little packages. You know this, Jackie. And sometimes I'm editing photos and they're not good picture takers. Everybody, there's people that love the camera, the camera loves them, and they look great on everything. And then there's those ones that aren't. And you're staring at it and you're like, I know she's not gonna be happy with these photos. So what do I do? I roll down to clarity and texture, and I throw it way over.

36:17 Jennifer: I'm like, that's how I do it because I know when they look at it, they're gonna be like, oh my God, I see like like the you know like wrinkles, yeah. Like, what is all that? Like, so I always I am a good editor for women my age because I'm like, girl, I gotcha. I gotcha.

36:36 Jackie: I'll fix she does, she spends lots of time.

36:38 Jennifer: I do spend a lot of time.

36:40 Jackie: It is very sweet of you because you could just give them what you got.

36:43 Jennifer: I know. Not me though. I'm like, I want you to feel good when you get these. Like, you looked really good that day. And here's, you know, I'm helping you out a little bit with that. So I can't even imagine being 20 years old. Maybe when I was 20, I wouldn't care. I'd be like, yeah, I look good. But and then it ends. And then you're like, let's not put so many pictures on the internet of this anymore. Like Okay. Anyways, what's the um what's your personal red flag in friendship? I don't like selfish people.

37:08 Jennifer: I just don't. It's not a it's not a thing for me. I will the minute I think you're too selfish or something, I'm usually out and tap out. I'm like, this isn't the person for me. I don't want to spend my time with them. But everybody has this thing that kind of makes it go the red flag goes throwing up on something. Jack, what's yours?

37:24 Jackie: I think I've said that before, selfish people. Or just mean, I just I don't know, just not people. Yeah. Huh?

37:33 Jennifer: Do you have anything to add on that one?

37:35 Melinda: You know how I am. I I said I'm not a really good friend. I just I'm a I'm kind of a solo person. So I feel like anybody who can't just sort of accept that if you need something, I'll be there. And I'll, you know, I'll check in on it. But if if you can't accept what what I can give, that that usually sends me run into the hills. I go, oh, nope. No, because I got a lot. I got a lot on my plate, a lot going on.

38:00 Jackie: So what you're saying is you don't you don't want more. You don't want them to want more from you. You'll be there. I mean just an emergency, but you got you got your own life going on. Yeah, you can do out there. Too much.

38:10 Melinda: Right. I mean, I exactly. I can I can be supportive, I can be a good friend, but I also, you know, I can't be locked down. Sometimes people want you to be their person, and I'm just not that person. Just being honest. It's okay. We will know you guys.

38:27 Jackie: That's what it is. I've known you since fourth grade, so obviously you're doing just fine. That's right. You keep friends.

38:33 Jennifer: All right. If this episode hit you in the feels or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

38:38 Jackie: Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your write or die.

38:41 Jennifer: And when you're ready to make your foot your friendship official, look your bestimony at rhinestoneweddingchapel.com.

38:46 Jackie: Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

39:03 Jackie: We stick together at your die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. Reuniting's like we never been apart, and every single time we're out of eye and heart to heart. There's not enough for us to describe what you made a big enough to dance to make.